7 Signs of an Unhappy Marriage

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Sylvia Smith, Author

Sylvia Smith

Expertise: Relationships advice, Pre-marriage and general

Sylvia Smith shares insights on love revitalization and conscious living. She believes purposeful actions can transform relationships into happier, healthier ones.

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Updated: 2 Nov, 2022

Table of Contents

Notice the signs that communication has weakened, and choose counseling together to restore honest conversation and help you feel heard again.
Rebuild daily closeness by scheduling small, meaningful moments together and gently reconnecting with touch, words, and listening to feel seen and valued.
Visualize a future together and align on small, hopeful goals, reminding yourselves that you can grow closer by choosing commitment and care.

If your relationship with your spouse has hit choppy waters read on. Learn how to recognize the signs of an unhappy marriage. Learn how to make the decision most conducive to the well being and happiness of both the partners in the relationship.

If your marriage exhibits any of these negative signs it’s time to take stock of things, spot the red flags and take a hard look at the marriage. Try to spot what needs to be changed or fixed within the marriage before making the decision to stay or go separate ways.

Love is the very basis, the bedrock and the foundation of marriage. Nobody wants a loveless and unhappy marriage.

But if you’re not exactly blissful and happy in your marriage, you are not alone. “Only 60 percent of people are happy in their unions” according to the National Opinion Research Center.

It might be extremely difficult to tell if you are in an unhappy marriage, especially if you have been in the relationship for a very long time. While you may not say out loud that you are in a loveless and unhappy marriage, there are some signs that show the fact that marriage is a loveless and unhappy one.

Recommended – Save My Marriage Course

Below are some of the signs that you are in a loveless and unhappy marriage

1. Ineffective communication skills and structure

Lack of open communication is one of the major signs of an unhappy marriage.

Just like communication is the very life of a healthy relationship, the lack of it means that the relationship is unhealthy. You don’t talk to each other face to face even if you are around each other. You prefer to use signs and texts instead of verbal communication.

These are signs that communication is struggling.

You will not be able to communicate effectively in an unhappy marriage. This means you don’t really have anything to say to your partner anymore. When something comes up in life, whether that’s an accomplishment, event or an incident and your partner isn’t the first person you’re sharing it with. There is something wrong in the relationship.

How to save your marriage if it is rife with marriage communication problems?

To resolve communication problems in a marriage, seeking marriage counseling or taking up a credible online marriage course can be a good idea. You get the right marriage advice to restore happiness and love in an unhappy marriage.

2. No more active and healthy arguments

If you’ve given up on arguing with your partner, but feel distanced more than ever, it’s a sign that you are in a loveless and unhappy marriage. Fights lead to greater love intensity if the couple processes the fight and works to repair the relationship. But silence like this can be one of the signs of an unhappy marriage filled with resentment.

Over time, there are little annoyances which could lead to arguments in your relationship but if resolved these can strengthen the relationship.

If you don’t work towards helping to influence your partner regarding the lifestyle he or she chooses to live, then it’s one of the most evident signs you are in an unhappy marriage.

3. You don’t visualize a future together

What good is a marriage if you can’t visualize a future together? Married partners are in it for good, and foreseeing a future together especially a future with loads of happiness and hope, is essential. If you don’t visualize a future together, there are chances that there is no love in your marriage.

Also, if you often visualize a happy future without your partner, that’s one of the surefire signs of an unhappy marriage and that things aren’t right in the marriage. You try to convince yourself that you don’t care anymore so that the eventual separation feels less painful.

Also, if you are visualizing a life without your partner then it means that one foot is already out the door and you are not fully committed to the marriage.

4. You live separate lives

You don’t live as a couple anymore. You live separate lives, and you’re both satisfied with that kind of existence.

If you feel stuck in an unhappy marriage but can’t leave, you choose to do things on your own without consulting your partner. As one of the signs of an unhappy marriage, both of you don’t understand each other and are not willing to offer a shoulder to each other.

You don’t ask your partner about his or her opinion about important decisions anymore. When married, your partner takes over the role of being your friend and advisor to crucial decisions. If they are no longer in that role, it is obvious that there is a lack of happiness in the marriage and you are both struggling in an unhappy relationship.

5. No more sex or physical affection in the marriage

No more sex or physical affection in the marriage

One warning sign of an unhappy marriage is that you don’t have sex with your partner anymore. If both of you are sexually active and you are having sex less than 10 times a year, it is a sign of a loveless unhappy marriage.

When you don’t show how much you love your partner physically like kissing, hugging, cuddling, it is a huge sign of an unhappy relationship.

Lack of intimacy and physical demonstration of affection are tell-tale signs of an unhappy marriage and one of the signs you ‘ll get divorced.

6. You feel insecure in the marriage

When you feel you don’t know where you stand or what your role is within the marriage. When you feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or anxious about where the marriage is heading, this could be a clear sign of an unhappy marriage.

Insecurities and fears, whether unfounded or real are signs of an unhappy marriage. An insecure partner is an unhappy husband or wife struggling to find an answer to the question, how to survive in an unhappy marriage.

Insecurities and doubt are the two biggest things in a marriage that will grow at a fast rate if you let them and it can eventually lead to a negative outcome within the marriage.

7. You don’t seem connected to each other anymore

The moment you are together but not really together, it’s a clear indicator of an unhappy marriage.

You can be in the same room, but one of you is reading and one of you is working on the computer.

You don’t feel connected to each other even if you still sleep together in the same bed.

Sometimes, partners start being a million miles apart even when sitting two feet away from each other.

All these are signs your marriage is in trouble.

If you find that you’re never actively engaging together, you’re both together, but you are alone doing your own thing, that’s an indication that you are not connected to each other anymore. Losing a sense of connection with your spouse is one of the top signs of an unhappy marriage.

So, that begs the question, what to do when you are not happy in your marriage?

Leaving a marriage is scary but at the same time continuing to be in an unhappy marriage takes a toll on the emotional, mental and psychological well being of both partners in the unhappy marriage. It is possible for an unhappy couple to recover from a divorce but dragging a relationship on that is strained with conflict results in leaving individuals with low self-esteem and depression.

Make the right judgment call about choosing to remain unhappily married, or looking at how to get out of an unhappy marriage. As soon as you spot the red flags of a failing relationship, and you find yourself saying, “my marriage is falling apart”, you must seek marriage counseling or marriage therapy to resolve the marital conflict in your relationship, and take the right course of action – splitting or reuniting.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less