If you’re asking yourself, “does he care about me” then listen to what he notices. Does he somehow know all your preferences, even those only your best friend knows?
Perhaps he’s been asking around to find out what makes you happy? The strange part of this one is that deep down, he knows how to care about someone. It’s just misguided.
4. Turns you into his confidante
One of the telltale signs a married man cares for you is if he turns to you for advice rather than his wife. Sometimes they even give themselves away by saying that they couldn’t possibly share this with their wife.
Sure, it’s flattering to be needed this way. Nevertheless, these signs he cares deeply about you could also cause much pain for someone.
5. Curious about your romantic life
Men don’t care much for other women’s love lives unless they want something more from them. In essence, the signs a married man cares for you include checking on his competition.
If secretly he’s gauging whether he has a chance with you or not, then it’s one of the signs he cares about you perhaps too much.
6. He drops everything for you
When a guy cares about you, he’ll drop everything to be at your side at the click of your fingers. Married men are supposed to prioritize their wives.
Somehow though, this one seems to make you their number one. You’ll even potentially hear later through the grapevine that he was there to hold your hand after a work crisis when his wife was at a family lunch.
One of the big signs a married man cares for you is how little they talk about their wife. You’ll ask questions, but they somehow always deflect them.
The passion and enthusiasm you would expect to hear are simply not in their voice. They almost avoid the subject like the plague, and you’re left wondering if he cares about me.
9. His ring goes AWOL
If you’re questioning how to know if he cares about you, look at his ring finger. Anyone who’s looking outside their committed relationship will take their ring off to feel free.
It even reinforces the fantasy that they’re not married and can do what they want.
10. Gives you presents
Are you asking yourself, “does he care about me”? If he’s giving you little presents but not to anybody else then yes, chances are that he cares for you.
Of course, gifts aren’t necessarily signs he cares deeply about you. Nonetheless, if they’re unique to your tastes and preferences so much that you wonder how he knew, then this is one of the sure signs he cares about your feelings.
11. He tries to get you alone
Another of the signs a married man cares for you is when he gets you alone. This isn’t supposed to sound dodgy because it can be just about having dinner or a quick drink after work.
Regardless, if he’d rather spend time with you, then you have to wonder about his intentions.
Here is a video that explains why it would be better to not date a married man:
12. Asks questions about your life
How to know he cares means listening for the clues. Does he ask you about yourself, your work, and your hobbies? Of course, he could just be showing interest in his wife’s friend.
Then again, sometimes it’s too much, and perhaps you say to yourself, “he cares about me.” In that case, yes, most probably.
13. He’s nervous around you
How to test him to see if he cares is to get up close and personal. We don’t mean getting sexual and weird.
On the contrary, talk to him separately from the group and watch his demeanor. One of the signs for how to know he cares is that he’s suddenly nervous around you, especially if you corner him.
14. Lots of innuendos
One of the main signs a married man cares for you is all the innuendos. Sometimes, they’re even done in front of this wife. After all, the thrill of getting caught can be exhilarating.
The most obvious sign is when he’ll happily let his wife go home while you and the rest of the gang go for that innocent dinner.
You know full well that his intentions are far from innocent from the looks, the touches, and the smiles.
15. He shares his emotions and secrets
When a guy cares about you, he’ll look to you as someone he can open up to.
Ultimately, it can be tough to share about ourselves with others because of the expectations we put on ourselves to be perfect.
That’s why, if a guy is pleased to be himself with you, warts and all, he’s into you.
Is he paying special attention to his appearance when he sees you? Have you noticed a change in his behavior when he’s around you? Does he hang on your every word? Those are all signs he cares about your feelings and what you think about him.
17. Cares about your future plans
Married men don’t ask other women about their future plans for children, jobs, or retirement. If those topics keep coming up, it’s a sure sign that something isn’t quite right.
In that case, how to test him to see if he cares could include listening to see if he asks the same questions to other women in your group of friends.
18. Jokes that he cares for you
Another one of the signs a married man cares for you is if he jokes about it. Sometimes that means he’s even pretending to himself.
The joke is a defense mechanism to help him justify the special attention he’s giving you.
19. He leans in
As mentioned, body language gives so much away about what we think and feel.
More specifically, leaning into someone when talking together is a sure sign that they’re both fascinated and overly interested. Essentially, when a man leans in, he wants to touch you and be close to you.
20. You feel awkward around him
Let’s not forget our gut instinct. Of course, it isn’t always right, but when someone feels wrong, there’s a good chance something is going on.
We have things called mirror neurons, as NewScientist explains, that allow us to notice others’ emotions.
What to do when in love with a married man
Perhaps you’ve seen the signs a married man cares for you, and now you’ve fallen in love? It will be a challenging journey, but you have to check in with yourself.
Try to understand what drove you to fall for the attention, bearing in mind that the likelihood of a married man leaving his wife for you is slim to none.
Of course, some married men do leave their wives to be with their mistresses. Although, you can’t assume this will happen for you.
Even if he does, you have to wonder if you can ever trust him. At this point, you have to remember your values and what you believe about healthy relationships.
When you’ve fallen in love after seeing the signs a married man cares for you, you have to accept the hard truths, especially if they have children.
Most men won’t just leave on a whim, and yes, that’s what you are. Not only do they not want to upset their children, but even if they don’t have any, they don’t want to lose half, or sometimes more, of everything they have to their wife.
Noticing the signs a married man cares for you can be exciting and even ego-boosting. Don’t let that fool you, though, because it doesn’t guarantee lifelong bliss, assuming they even leave their wives.
On the contrary, you should take time to reflect on yourself and discover what being in a healthy and trusting relationship means for you.
Then you can look forward to growing with someone who supports and loves you for who you are.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.
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If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.