The dating behavior of married men can be explained by social psychology and evolutionary theories. From a social psychology perspective, men may flirt to satisfy their need for external approval and attention, to test their sexual attractiveness, or to escape a monotonous relationship. Evolutionary theory suggests that this behavior is intended to provide genetic diversity and increase reproductive opportunities.
It’s hard to differentiate if a guy is flirting or just being friendly or how to tell if a married man is flirting with you, especially if a married man’s flirting signs are similar to their normal behavior.
However, watch out for “Is interested or just being nice signs”
When a married guy leaves you wondering, ‘Is he into me or just being nice’, you should pay attention to his body language around you.
-he’s looking into your eyes,
-his pupils are dilated or
-his toes are pointed at you! Continue below to learn more about body language signs.
See if he touches you like your other guy friends or if it’s a little too intimate.
Check how he treats other women around. Is it the same way he treats you, or do you feel special?
One of the ways to know if a married man wants you or is just being nice is to see how he behaves with you in front of his wife. If he’s equally nice and not at all indifferent when his wife is around, there’s nothing to be worried about.
But, if he ignores you in front of his wife while he is all over you once she is gone, he’s into you.
Does he put you on a pedestal or occasionally pass off a compliment? If the married man says something like, ‘Hey you look nice today’ once in a blue moon, that’s just a friendly remark. If he continuously teases or compliments you, it might mean something else.
How to tell if a married man is attracted to you– Body language signs
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you?
Pay attention to the following body language signs that will help you read the male flirting signals correctly.
If a married man is attracted to you, you’ll constantly find him staring at you longingly. You’ll catch him looking at you even when you’re in a group setting. Some might hold eye contact, while the shy ones are most likely to look away if they get caught.
When a married man is into you, he can’t keep his hands off you. There will be a lot of accidentally-on-purpose touches. He might hold your hand when you’re crossing a street, casually wrap his arm around your shoulder or touch you for no apparent reason.
Close physical proximity
While you are asking yourself, ‘Is he hitting on me?’, notice if the married man is standing too close to you or leaning toward you when he is talking to you.
You’ll see the married man suddenly taking care of his physical appearance. You’ll notice a change in his clothing style. He’ll try to smell good and style his hair differently. You might find him fixing his hair more often and straightening out his crooked tie to look his best for you.
Does this particular married man smile at you every time his eyes lock with yours? I am not talking about the friendly kind. If the married guy is flirting with you, his face will lighten up, and he won’t be able to stop smiling at you.
Also, see if he raises his eyebrow when he sees you, touches his face frequently, or sweats a lot when he talks to you.
In the video below, Dr. Kurt Smith talks about how flirting can amount to cheating and tells clearly why flirting is wrong.
25 signs a married man is flirting with you
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? How do men flirt?
It’s not like there’s a guide out there that every married guy is following. But, there are some surefire signs to tell if a married man is flirting with you. Some are subtle, others not so much.
Look out for these 25 signs, and you’ll know soon enough.
1. He will find ways to interact with you
You’ll start seeing him everywhere you go because he wants to see you. He’ll never run out of things to talk about. This is one of the most obvious signs that a married man is hitting on you.
Psychologist Mert Şeker suggests:
Psychological and social factors may be effective when a married man talks about the unhappiness of his marriage. Psychologically, men in unhappy marriages may bring up this issue due to their emotional distress, relationship stress, personal dissatisfaction, and conflict. Socially, unhappiness within marriage can be explained as the result of social expectations or sexual incompatibilities, and hidden problems may attract more attention due to the pressure of the marriage to appear perfect from the outside.
2. He will keep talking about how unhappy his marriage is
When a married man opens up to you about his marital issues, he is trying to get your sympathy. He might even invent a sob story just to use that as an excuse to talk to you.
3. He will insinuate that being around you makes him happy
When a married man can’t stop talking about how good he feels when he’s around you, it’s obvious that he’s flirting with you.
4. He will want to spoil you with loads of flowers and gifts
He won’t need any occasions to show up with flowers and gifts. If you keep getting thoughtful and expensive gifts from a married guy, he’s into you.
5. He will call and text you for no apparent reason
When a married man texts you all the time to check up on you, it’s because he can’t get you out of his head. However, you might see fewer texts during the night time or over the weekends because his wife is around.
6. He takes his ring off when he is around you
Even though he is married, he might act like a single person while he is around you. You’ll see him reluctant to talk about his wife and marriage.
7. He will be nervous around you
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? It doesn’t matter how confident he is; if a married guy likes you, he’ll get nervous when he talks to you.
8. He will notice small details about you
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? Any small change in your appearance, mood, or behavior won’t go unnoticed by a guy who is into you.
9. He will keep complimenting you
The married guy will compliment you for just existing. He’ll be a fan of anything and everything you do. He’ll keep checking you out all the time and won’t stop talking about how hot you look in your new dress or how good you smell.
10. He will make remarks like ‘I wish my wife was more like you’
This is one of the most tell-tale signs a married man is hitting on you. He wants you to know that he sees you as more than just a friend, coworker, or acquaintance. He might even badmouth his wife to get your sympathy.
11.He will be all over your social media
If a married guy is attracted to you, he’ll spread ‘love’ throughout your social media, literally. He might not comment on them if you have a lot of mutual friends, but he’ll react to all of your posts, even the old ones that you posted ages ago.
12. He will want to come off as a neat guy
He will make a conscious effort to look nice for you and ask you if you like the smell of the new cologne he is wearing. He might tell you that he’s started going to the gym or show his bulging biceps off.
13. He will hug you for a little longer than you’re comfortable with
You know how your guy friends give you a quick hug when you meet or say goodbye. But the hug from a married guy who’s into you will be slightly different. He might even smell your hair or gently caress them.
14. He will ask you really personal questions
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? If a married man is hitting on you, he’ll be overly interested in your personal life. He might ask you about your childhood and family while trying to figure out your hobbies and interests.
15. He will show interest in your dating life
He’ll casually ask you if you’re seeing someone at the moment. Then he might start asking prying questions about your partner and your dating life.
16. He will seem giddy around you
A married man who’s hitting on you will find you hilarious even when you aren’t being funny. He’ll smile and laugh all the time just because he loves being around you.
17. He will give you romantic nicknames
Calling you by a special name might be a way of a married guy telling you that he’s into you.
18. He will pay attention to your likes and dislikes
If a married man is into you, he will listen to you when you’re speaking and will remember your preferences.
19. He will give you too many details about himself
When a married man is flirting with you, he’ll give you all his personal details to build a connection. The more he invests, the more you will be obliged to share about yourself and this is a road to build connection.
20. He will try to make you laugh
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? If a married man keeps cracking jokes all the time, he is obviously trying to impress you with his sense of humor.
21. He will get jealous if you interact with other guys
He’ll not like the idea of you getting too friendly with other guys. If he sees someone talking or flirting with you, he’ll get jealous.
22. He will be a different person in front of other people
A married guy doesn’t want to come off as a cheating spouse because it will destroy his reputation. So, he will seem distant when you’re in a group setting.
23. He will want to spend one-on-one time with you
The married man will crave time alone with you. If he is your coworker, he might ask you to meet him for lunch or dinner outside the office.
24. He will be overly romantic when nobody’s around
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? You’ll see him being a little too caring when you’re alone with him.
25. Your gut will tell you
How to tell if a married man is flirting with you? Well, if your intuition tells you that a married guy’s flirting with you, it’s almost a certainty. Listen to it.
It’s really uncomfortable when your mind is plagued with questions like ‘Does a married man like me?’ or ‘Is he flirting with me?’
If you’re stuck thinking, ‘A married man likes me! How do I dissuade him without being rude?’
1. Openly communicate
Make it clear that you have no intentions of being involved with a married man. Talk to him clearly to avoid confusion in the future.
Psychologist Mert Şeker says:
Communicating openly to deter a married man requires a delicate balance. The first step is to express your feelings and share your concerns respectfully without focusing on the negativity. Express what you feel freely, use clear language, and try to understand their feelings using your listening skills. Adopt a collaboration and solution-oriented approach rather than criticism, and avoid judgment.
2. Don’t let his sob stories melt you
Tell him politely that he needs to talk to his wife and resolve the issues instead of telling you. Avoid getting into his emotional tactics.
3. Bring up his wife
Whenever he tries to say romantic things, change the subject and ask him how his wife is doing. Redirect the conversation and ignore the hints.
4. Don’t indulge him
If he wants to meet you alone, bring a colleague or a mutual friend with you as a buffer. This will give him a clear sign from your end without you ending up being rude.
5. Cut off all communications with him
If you don’t have to see each other every day for professional reasons, end all communications with him. If you work together, keep a distance and act professionally.
In conclusion, it’s really uncomfortable to ask yourself, ‘Is a married man flirting with me?’ But, if the signs are obvious, be straightforward and avoid getting yourself tangled up in a relationship with a married man.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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