Pareto Principle in Life: 80/20 Rule in Relationships
Some of you might not have heard of the Pareto Principle. It’s more widely known as the 80/20 rule. It is a business economic theory from an observed figure showing that 80% of the effects in life, comes from 20% of the causes.
Take note that it didn’t say if the effect is good or bad. That’s because the 80/20 rule works with both. It means that the majority of your problems come from 20% of your actions (or inactions), and most of the good things in your life are only from a small part of your efforts.
In fact, since the Pareto Principle was first observed over a hundred years ago, it applies to a lot of things across different categories. There is also the 80/20 rule in relationships.
What is The 80/20 Rule In Relationships?
There are some blogs that claim that the 80/20 rule in relationships means you only get 80% of what you want, and the 20% are things you crave that may ruin the relationship. Unfortunately, this is not how the Pareto Principle works, but coming up with their own interpretation is not really a crime.
There are other blogs that agree with this interpretation. They claim that most people are happy getting 80% of what they want from their partner. They understand that nobody is perfect, and being satisfied with 80% is enough.
It may be an 80/20, but it’s not a rule, and it’s definitely not related to the principle of factor sparsity.
Similarly, it has also been suggested that the 80/20 relationship rule helps couples to aim for atleast 80% of what they want from their partner, and the remaining 20% they should be willing to compromise on.
How does the Pareto Principle Apply In Relationships?
The important thing about the 80/20 rule is not the figure itself (it’s not always exactly 80 or 20), but the cause and effect. According to the 80/20 rule in relationship quote from Lovepanky;
” 80% of all frustrations in a relationship are caused by just 20% of the problems.”
This interpretation fits perfectly with the definition of the Pareto Principle. However, the article does not mention that the reverse is also true.
“80% of all the satisfaction comes from only 20% of the relationship itself.”
Just like in business, the best way to apply the 80/20 rule in relationships is to identify 20% of the problems and solve them. Once that minority is resolved, it will get rid of the majority of the relationship woes.
In business economics, the Pareto Principle is applied to both investments and operations. In fiscal priority management, by prioritizing on the 20% that brings the majority of the profits, it can maximize returns. In operations, focusing on the difficulties that cause the most adverse effects will drastically increase efficiency.
The same principle can be applied to relationships. Business is nothing more than relationships between entities who exchange products or services for equal value. (Healthy) Relationships are about giving one’s heart and body to their partner. It is returned by their partner, giving their own heart and body equally.
80/20 rule in relationships can improve your love life
No relationship is perfect, business, or otherwise. Little things stack up and become unbearable as time goes by. It’s hard to be specific about what will tick a person off, that’s mostly subjective, but everyone has something that gets on their nerves.
There is no need to change completely for your partner. You only need to change the 20% that annoys them the most. If you and your partner are able to do it, then it will get rid of the majority of the problems that plague your relationship. That’s how you use the 80/20 rule in a relationship in the operational sense.
In terms of investing, if we apply the 80/20 rule in relationships to a couple. It means that only 20% of the time spent together is meaningful. It helps to figure out which 20% means the most to both of you and direct your attention towards it to improve your relationship.
The law of attraction and 80/20 rule in relationships
The law of attraction is not really a scientific law, not in a way Newton’s Law applies. A lot of scientists have criticized it as pseudo-science. They claim that using scientific terminology to create their new age philosophy is misleading people. However, there are a lot of advocates that believe it works. That includes Jack Canfield, the best-selling author of the “Chicken Soup of the Soul.”
The new age law of attraction says that, like the original Newton version, forces attract. In this case, if one person is filled with positive energy, they will attract positive vibes.
Just like carrying smoking hot Korean Barbeque on the street will attract cute puppies. The negative also applies. If you’re full of negative energy, you will attract negative vibes. For example, if you keep running your mouth with expletives, you’ll soon attract angry cops or old ladies with shotguns.
It’s not totally different from the 80/20 rule in relationships. The law of attraction is about energies inviting the same kind of scenarios. They are both about cause and effect.
Both principles have another common point. It believes that positive action/energy invites positive results. The same applies to negative energy and results. If the two principles are applied at the same time, it means 20% of a person’s negativity is the source of 80% of their difficulties and vise Versa.
Applied to couples, it only takes a small change in the mindset to boost the quality of your relationship or exacerbate a bad one. The Pareto Principle is taught and used in business economics because of its proverbial bang for the buck. When it was first observed by Vilfredo Pareto, it was about real estate and the distribution of wealth. Further studies eventually found that the factor sparsity applied to different things, including the military, healthcare, and relationships.
The 80/20 rule in relationships is simple. Like its business application, it about getting the most using minimal effort. Focusing on the impact points improves the relationship you have with your partner by reducing the friction on strengthening the bonds.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
