43 Relationship Check-in Questions for You & Your Partner

Sometimes, amid our busy days and nights, we forget to pause and really listen—to our partner’s hopes, worries, the little joys that light up their eyes! A few thoughtful moments, a simple question can open a doorway to deeper understanding.

The magic is in the pause, the genuine curiosity, the shared “I see you.” 

Whether whispered over morning coffee or tucked into a text before bed, relationship check in questions can spark a heartfelt conversation, reminding us that love isn’t only felt; it’s nurtured, spoken, honored in every honest exchange. It’s in these moments that connections blossom, and hearts grow richer.

What is a relationship check-in?

A relationship check-in isn’t a test—it’s a soft landing spot, a way to stay close, even when life gets loud. No fixing, no pressure; just presence, honesty, and love in real time. 

It’s where small thoughts turn into big understandings, where “I’m fine” can safely become “Actually, here’s what’s been on my mind.” It’s a quiet moment carved out to ask how you’re really doing—not just with work or dinner plans, but with each other. 

43 relationship check-in questions to ask your partner

Whether you are looking for questions to ask when starting a relationship or have been with your partner for a while and want to dig deeper, these relationship check-in questions will flow the conversation. 

Below are some check-in questions for couples that can be of great help to keep your relationship healthy.

1. How do you feel we’re doing with communication?

Christiana Njoku specifically advised that:

If you and your partner have difficulty communicating openly and honestly, it can lead to misunderstandings and problems in the relationship. In the good times and in the bad, couples need to have frequent conversations to understand their partner better and as an opportunity to improve the relationship.

Communication is key in any relationship, making this one of the most vital check-in topics. Ask if your partner feels truly heard, whether active listening is practiced, and how you both handle disagreements. 

• Quick tip: Set aside time weekly for honest, uninterrupted conversations where you both feel safe to express and listen.

2. Are you satisfied with our sex life?

There are more important things in life than sex, but it’s still a huge part of a healthy marriage, making it quite a priority when it comes to marriage check-in questions. So, if things aren’t going your way in the bedroom, it might be time to speak up. 

• Quick tip: Create a safe, judgment-free space to talk about intimacy—start the conversation with care, curiosity, and compassion rather than complaints.

3. Is there anything you want to talk about?

One of the most important weekly relationship check-in questions is about emotions. How have you both felt this week? Is there anything you want to get off your chest and clear the air about? It’s a chance to express pain or offer a sincere apology in a calm, respectful way to clear the air and reconnect.

• Quick tip: Use “I” statements like “I felt hurt when…” to avoid sounding accusatory and keep the conversation safe and honest.

4. How is your mental health?

Relationship check-in questions don’t always have to be about the relationship itself. It can be a question about your partner. Life is stressful, and that can take a toll on mental health. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner how they’re doing and whether there is anything you can do.

• Quick tip: Be a good listener—sometimes just offering a quiet, judgment-free space can mean more than finding solutions.

5. Do you feel close to me?

One of the questions to ask early in a relationship is whether your spouse feels close to you and if there’s anything you can do to be more open with them.

• Quick tip: Create daily micro-moments of connection—like hugs, eye contact, or inside jokes—to nurture emotional closeness.

6. Is there anything you would like me to do?

Healthy relationship check-in questions are about showing love, support, and compromise to your partner. If your partner seems especially overwhelmed (or even if they don’t!) this week, ask them if you can do anything to make life easier.

• Quick tip: Don’t wait for them to ask—observe their routine and offer help where it’s needed most, like taking over a chore or planning a relaxing evening together. Small acts of support go a long way.

7. Are we spending enough time together?

Spending quality time together often takes a backseat to busy work schedules and parenting responsibilities. Yet, making space for meaningful time can deeply strengthen your bond and bring more joy, intimacy, and connection than you might expect. 

• Quick tip: Schedule a regular “us” night—even if it’s just a walk or a quiet dinner at home. Consistency matters more than extravagance when it comes to nurturing connection.

Research Highlight: Research shows couples experience a reduction in stress and an increase in happiness when spending quality time together. 

8. Do we trust each other?

Do you trust each other—truly? Past mistakes can make trust harder to give and receive trust. Asking about trust helps you both reflect, heal, and rebuild a stronger emotional foundation.

• Quick tip: Be patient and non-defensive during trust talks. Focus on listening first—healing often begins when your partner feels truly heard.

9. Is there anything stressing you out?

Asking your partner if something is causing stress is a great weekly check-in. They might be carrying silent stress, leading to out-of-character actions. Gently ask about any anxiety and reassure them you’re always there to talk and listen.

• Quick tip: Create a safe space by listening without interrupting or rushing to fix things.

10. Are you happy?

Asking if your partner feels satisfied in the relationship is a key check-in. Weekly relationship check-in questions aren’t just there to point out issues in the relationship. They are designed to draw couples closer together and to find joy in things that are going great while working together.

• Quick tip: Celebrate even the small wins in your relationship to keep the emotional connection strong and positive.

11. How do you envision our future together? 

Reflecting on the future strengthens your bond. Talk about individual dreams and shared goals—career, family, or personal growth. These conversations help you stay aligned and support one another’s journey.

• Quick tip: Schedule regular future-focused conversations to stay connected and motivated together

12. Are we managing our finances to both of our satisfaction?

Financial harmony matters deeply. Talk about goals, budgeting, and any concerns. Are you saving for something meaningful? Feeling equally involved builds trust and clarity, helping you create a plan that works for both.

• Quick tip: Set monthly money check-ins to stay aligned and avoid misunderstandings.

13. Do we have a fair balance of household responsibilities?

Chores can create tension if not fairly shared. Talk about how tasks are divided and whether changes are needed. Don’t forget to appreciate each other’s efforts in maintaining a peaceful, balanced home.

• Quick tip: Try a rotating task chart to keep things fair and flexible

14. Do you feel supported in your personal ambitions and hobbies?

Individual growth and satisfaction are as important as the relationship’s growth. Ask your partner if they have enough time and support to pursue their interests. Discuss ways to create space for personal development and celebrate each other’s achievements and passions.

• Quick tip: Encourage regular sharing of personal goals to support each other’s growth.

15. How can we improve our conflict resolution strategies?

Reflect on recent disagreements and discuss how you’ve resolved them. Are there patterns to adjust for healthier dialogue? This helps both partners think critically about communication and explore more constructive approaches for better understanding.

• Quick tip: Schedule conflict check-ins during calm moments, not during arguments

16. Are your emotional and physical needs being met?

Asking about your partner’s needs covers intimacy and emotional support. Encourage them to share openly if they feel neglected or want more attention. This strengthens your connection by ensuring both partners feel valued and understood.

• Quick tip: Regularly check in on emotional and physical needs without judgment.

17. How do we maintain intimacy and affection beyond our sexual relationship?

Discuss the importance of non-sexual touch and emotional intimacy. Do you both feel your emotional needs for affection are met? This can lead to conversations about increasing intimacy through gestures, quality time, and verbal affirmations.

• Quick tip: Incorporate small daily acts of affection to deepen closeness.

18. What strategies can we adopt to stay connected during busy times?

Life’s demands can sometimes make it challenging to maintain a strong connection. This could involve setting aside dedicated time for check-ins, date nights, or simply sending thoughtful messages throughout the day to show you’re thinking of each other.

• Quick tip: Set a recurring reminder on your phone for a weekly relationship check-in or date night.

19. Are there unresolved issues from our past that we need to address?

Holding onto past grievances can hinder growth. Invite your partner to discuss unresolved feelings that may still affect them. Honest talks pave the way for healing and a stronger foundation built on understanding and forgiveness.

• Quick tip: Practice forgiveness to release past burdens and grow together.

20. How satisfied are we with our social life and time spent with friends and family?

Balancing social life with couple time is essential. Discuss if you both feel fulfilled spending time with friends and family, and how it impacts your relationship. Finding the right balance supports both your social and relationship needs.

• Quick tip: Schedule a couple and social time to maintain harmony in both areas.

21. How do we feel about our communication during difficult times?

Discuss how well you communicate during stress. Are fears and concerns expressed openly without judgment? Improving this can ensure you both feel supported and strengthen your ability to face challenges together.

• Quick tip: Create a “stress code word” you can use when overwhelmed—this signals the need for a calm, judgment-free conversation.

22. What are our thoughts on personal space and independence within our relationship?

Independence is vital in a healthy relationship. Discuss if you both have enough personal space to pursue interests and how to support each other in balancing togetherness and independence.

• Quick tip: Respect each other’s alone time to nurture personal growth and relationship health.

23. How do we feel about our current work-life balance and its impact on our relationship?

Work-life balance affects your relationship. Talk about whether work is interfering with quality time. Identifying adjustments helps support each other and maintain a healthier balance that benefits your partnership.

• Quick tip: Set boundaries around work time to protect your relationship.

24. Do we have shared goals and values, and how do they influence our relationship?

Reflecting on our shared goals and values can help ensure we’re aligned in what we consider essential. This conversation can deepen our connection by highlighting common ground and how our individual goals complement each other, reinforcing our partnership’s direction.

• Quick tip: Revisit shared goals regularly to stay connected and aligned.

25. How do we handle jealousy or insecurity within our relationship?

It’s natural to feel jealousy or insecurity sometimes. Discussing how we handle these emotions helps us understand each other and develop reassurance strategies, creating a trusting and secure environment where both partners feel valued and confident.

• Quick tip: Share your feelings openly to build trust and reduce insecurity.

26. What are our expectations for growth and change within our relationship?

Relationships evolve as people do. Talking about our growth expectations and how to support each other through changes prepares us for transitions, helping us grow together and strengthen our bond.

• Quick tip: Embrace change as a team to nurture lasting growth.

27. How do we celebrate our achievements and positive moments?

Recognizing and celebrating successes, big or small, boosts relationship positivity. Discuss how you currently celebrate and explore new ways to acknowledge achievements, enhancing appreciation for each other and your shared journey.

• Quick tip: Celebrate milestones together to strengthen your connection.

28. Are we satisfied with the level of adventure and spontaneity in our relationship?

Adventure and spontaneity keep relationships vibrant. Reflect on whether you’re introducing enough new experiences and discuss ideas for spontaneous activities to add excitement and novelty.

• Quick tip: Plan surprise outings to keep your relationship lively and fun.

29. How do we feel about our relationship’s role in our larger community or social circles?

Our relationship exists within a broader social network. Discussing how you interact as a couple socially reveals insights into dynamics and mutual support, enhancing your sense of belonging.

• Quick tip: Support each other in social settings to build stronger bonds.

30. What steps can we take to maintain respect and admiration for each other?

Respect and admiration form a lasting relationship foundation. Talk about behaviors that promote these feelings and areas for improvement to commit to actions, reinforce respect and admiration.

• Quick tip: Express daily appreciation to nurture respect and admiration

31. How do we approach decision-making together, especially in significant life choices?

Making decisions, big or small, affect both partners and the relationship’s direction. Discussing how you make decisions ensures both voices are heard and methods align with your values, strengthening your partnership’s unity.

• Quick tip: Practice joint decision-making to foster cooperation and respect.

32. How can we improve our support for each other’s physical and emotional well-being?

Physical and emotional health greatly impact your relationship. Explore how you support each other’s well-being and consider new habits or check-ins to enhance mutual care.

• Quick tip: Schedule regular health check-ins to stay connected and supportive.

33. How do we manage expectations around holidays, traditions, and family interactions?

Holidays and traditions bring joy but can cause stress, especially with family dynamics. Discuss expectations and strategies to handle these events so they add happiness rather than strain.

• Quick tip: Plan together for holidays to reduce stress and enjoy family time.

34. What’s something small I did this week that made you feel loved or appreciated?

This question focuses on the positive and reinforces emotional connection by highlighting thoughtful gestures that might otherwise go unnoticed. It helps partners recognize what makes each other feel valued.

• Quick tip: Make a mental note or write down what your partner shares — repeating these small but meaningful actions can make a big difference.

35. How do we balance our needs for security and stability with desires for growth and change?

Security and growth both matter. Discussing how to balance stability with new opportunities helps plan a future where both partners feel safe yet inspired, keeping your relationship dynamic and fulfilling.

• Quick tip: Embrace change while maintaining a secure foundation for a lasting connection.

36. How well do we handle each other’s emotional triggers?

Understanding and managing emotional triggers is essential for reducing conflict and building deeper emotional safety. Discuss if either of you feels reactive or misunderstood during certain situations, and how to respond with more empathy and patience.

• Quick tip: Identify your triggers and share them with compassion—this fosters trust and reduces unintentional hurt.

37. Are we prioritizing fun and laughter in our relationship?

Joy is often underrated in long-term relationships. Reflect on whether you still laugh together, share inside jokes, or enjoy playful moments. It’s these lighthearted experiences that keep the emotional connection vibrant and resilient.

• Quick tip: Schedule silly, no-pressure fun—like a dance-off in the kitchen or watching a comedy together 

38. How can we be more intentional with our words and tone?

Tone and word choice can make or break a conversation. Check in on whether your communication feels respectful, warm, and clear—even during disagreements. Small shifts in language can lead to big shifts in connection.

• Quick tip: Pause before responding—tone often matters more than the words themselves.

39. How do we handle feedback or criticism from each other?

Feedback helps relationships grow, but only if it’s received and given with care. Reflect on how you both react to criticism—do you feel defensive or heard? Explore ways to make feedback feel safer and more constructive.

• Quick tip: Lead with love when giving feedback—use “I feel” and “I need” rather than “You always.”

40. Are we showing enough appreciation for the everyday things we do for each other?

Everyday gestures often go unnoticed—making coffee, doing errands, or handling the hard stuff. Acknowledging them regularly builds a stronger foundation of gratitude and mutual respect.

• Quick tip: Try a daily “thank you” ritual to celebrate small acts of care.

41. Do we feel equally seen and valued in this relationship?

Every person wants to feel significant in their relationship. Ask if either of you ever feels invisible, overshadowed, or overlooked. This can help address subtle imbalances and increase mutual affirmation.

• Quick tip: Give regular, specific compliments that go beyond appearance—like recognizing effort or emotional growth.

42. How can we better support each other during hard days or emotional lows?

Sometimes, we don’t know what our partner needs when they’re down. Talk about what’s helpful (and what’s not) when one of you is struggling, so support can feel truly comforting and personalized.

• Quick tip: Ask “What does support look like for you right now?” instead of guessing.

43. Are we intentional about checking in even when things seem okay?

Relationship maintenance isn’t only for when things are rocky. Explore whether you’re both proactive about connecting emotionally, even during the “good times.” Preventive care builds lasting closeness.

• Quick tip: Make check-ins a habit, not a reaction. Regular care prevents emotional distance.

How to schedule relationship check-ins: 5 ways

Having a relationship check-in doesn’t need to be a big, dramatic event—it can be light, kind, and even comforting when you approach it the right way. Think of it as a cozy conversation, not a confrontation. 

Here are a few gentle ground rules to keep your check-in effective, supportive, and meaningful for both of you:

• Set the scene: Light a candle, grab your favorite snacks, sit on the couch—or even go for a drive. Make it feel cozy and low-pressure.
• Press pause on distractions: Yep, that means phones on silent, TV off, and full eye contact. Give each other your best attention—it’s way more romantic than it sounds!
• Lead with love, not a list of complaints: This isn’t about pointing fingers; it’s about holding hands through the ups and downs. Speak kindly, even when things feel tough.
• Get curious, not defensive: Ask with openness, not expectation. If something stings, take a breath—respond with curiosity, not combat.

• Laugh a little: Not every answer has to be serious. Share the silly stuff too—like how cute they looked last Tuesday or how they always steal the blanket. 

Watch this TED Talk by Amy Scott, a communication expert, to understand communication styles and quickly connect with others while avoiding common relationship pitfalls.

FAQs

Relationship check-ins help partners stay emotionally connected, improve communication, and deepen intimacy. Whether you’re doing weekly relationship check-ins or occasional ones, it’s natural to have questions about how to approach them. Here are some frequently asked questions to guide you.

• How often should we do relationship check-ins?

While weekly relationship check-in questions work well for many couples, the right frequency depends on your needs and schedules. Some couples prefer monthly relationship check-in questions short daily touchpoints, while others find bi-weekly or monthly sessions more sustainable.

• What if my partner is hesitant or uncomfortable with check-ins?

Start gently by explaining the purpose: to strengthen your bond, not to criticize. Use open-ended, non-confrontational questions and create a relaxed setting. Emphasize that it’s about growing together, not assigning blame.

• Are relationship check-ins healthy?

Yes, relationship check-ins are healthy. They provide a dedicated time for couples to express feelings, discuss challenges, and celebrate successes. Check-ins enhance understanding, prevent misunderstandings, and strengthen the bond by ensuring both partners feel valued and heard. 

Key takeaways

Healthy relationships don’t just happen—they’re built through consistent communication, emotional honesty, and shared effort. Weekly relationship check-in questions offer a simple yet powerful way to nurture your connection, understand each other more deeply, and address small issues before they grow. 

Whether you’re celebrating good moments or navigating challenges, these check-ins help you stay aligned and emotionally close. Remember, making space for open-hearted conversations is one of the kindest gifts you can offer each other.