A few years ago if you said you would be living with your partner when you’re not married it would have been an issue. It was the time when cohabitation was highly discriminated because marriage was a sacrament and living together without the sanctity of marriage was considered vile.
While today, living together as a couple is not an issue at all. Most couples prefer this than jumping into marriage without assurance that it will work. So, do you consider living together before marriage?
Living together before marriage – A safer option?
Today, most people are practical and based on recent studies, more and more people are opting to move in with their partners rather than plan a wedding and be together. Some couples who actually decide to move in together don’t even consider getting married just yet.
Here are some of the reasons why couples move in together:
1. It’s more practical
If a couple comes to an age where moving in together makes sense than paying twice for rent. It’s being with your partner and saving money at the same time — practical.
2. The couple can get to know each other better
Some couples think that it’s time to step a notch in their relationship and move in together. It’s preparing for their long term relationship. This way, they get to know more about each other before they choose to get married. Safe play.
3. It’s a good option for people who don’t believe in marriage
Moving in with your partner because you or your lover doesn’t believe in marriage. Some people think that marriage is only for formality and there’s really no reason for it other than giving you a hard time if ever they choose to call it quits.
4. The couple won’t have to go through a messy divorce if they break up
Divorce rates are high and we’ve seen the harsh reality of it. Some couples who know this first hand, may it be with their family members or even from the past relationship will no longer believe in marriage. For these people, divorce is such a traumatic experience that even if they are able to love again, considering marriage is no longer an option.
Pros and cons of living together before marriage
Do you plan on living together before marriage? Do you know what you and your partner are getting yourselves into? Let’s dig deeper into the pros and cons of choosing to live in with your partner.
1. Moving in together is a wise decision — financially
You get to share everything such as paying mortgage, spliting your bills and even have time to save if ever you want to tie the knot anytime soon. If marriage is not part of your plans just yet — you will have extra money to do what you like.
2. Division of chores
Chores are no longer being taken-cared of by one person. Moving in together means you get to share household chores. Everything is shared so less stress and more time to rest. Hopefully.
3. It’s like playhouse
You get to try how it’s like living as a married couple without the papers. This way, if things don’t work out, just leave and that’s it. This has become an appealing decision for most people, nowadays. No one wants to spend thousands of dollars and deal with counseling and hearings just to get out of the relationship.
4. Test the strength of your relationship
The ultimate test in living together is to check if you’re really going to work out or not. Being in love with a person is totally different than living with them. It’s a whole new thing when you have to live with them and be able to see their habits, if they are messy in the house, if they will do their chores or not. It’s basically living with the reality of having a partner.
While living together before marriage may seem appealing, there are also some not-so-good areas to consider. Remember, every couple is different. While there are benefits, there are also consequences depending on the kind of relationship that you’re in.
1. The reality of finances aren’t as rosy you expected
Expectations hurt especially when you think about having shared bills and chores. Reality is, even if you choose to live together to be more financially practical, you might get yourself into a bigger headache when you find yourself with a partner who thinks you’ll shoulder all the finances.
2. Getting married doesn’t remain as significant
Couples who move in together are less likely to decide to get married. Some have kids and have no time to settle into marriage or has become too comfortable that they’d think they no longer need a paper to prove that they are working out as a couple.
3. Live-in couples don’t work as hard on saving their relationship
Easy way out, this is the most common reason why studies have shown that people living together do get separated over time. They will no longer work hard to save their relationship because they are not bonded by marriage.
4. False commitment
False commitment is one term to use with people who would rather choose to live in together for good rather than tie the knot. Before you start a relationship, you need to know the meaning of real commitment and part of this is getting married.
5. Live-in couples are not entitled to the same legal rights
When you’re not married reality is, you don’t have some of the rights that a married person has, especially when dealing with certain laws.
Deciding to move in with your partner – A reminder
Being in a relationship isn’t easy and with all the issues that can arise, some would rather just test it out rather than jumping into marriage. In fact, there is no guarantee that choosing to live together before you get married will guarantee a successful union or a perfect marriage thereafter.
No matter if you test your relationship for years before getting married or have chosen marriage over living together, the quality of your marriage will still depend on both of you. It takes two people to achieve a successful partnership in life. Both people in the relationship should compromise, respect, be responsible, and of course to love each other for their union to be successful.
No matter how open-minded our society is today, no couple should disregard how important marriage is. There’s no problem in living together before marriage, in fact, some of the reasons behind this decision are rather practical and true. However, every couple should still consider getting married soon.