200 Questions to Get to Know Someone

When you get into a relationship with your partner, you feel the urge to know them better and form a connection that lasts. 

You must take out some time to ask them some vital “get to know you questions.” Getting to know you” questions open your partner up to you in ways you couldn’t have imagined.

They also help you to better prepare yourself for the relationship you just got into.

Thankfully, this exercise doesn’t have to be an arduous one. There are tons of unique ‘get to know you questions’ which you can ask your partner anywhere; over dinner, during your ‘alone time,’ or even over the phone.

However, some of these ‘questions to get to know someone’ may be a bit sensitive (depending on your partner and their preferences). Please ensure that you have set the pace before you start asking them these questions.

This article will cover 200 questions to get to know someone, including all the things you can ask to understand someone’s personality and their likes and dislikes. Feel free to pick up these questions for your new partner.

Questions about career and goals

What are some questions to ask someone to get to know them? Let’s start with career-related ‘getting to know you questions’.

Now you’re together with your partner, and you must ask them these questions about their career. This is to help you have a clear picture of their goals and ambitions and let you know if you are the perfect match in this regard.

Here are some questions to get to know someone; to understand their career objectives.

1. What was the last position you occupied at your workplace?
2. What do you do at the moment?
3. Do you prefer remote work to physical office work or vice versa? Does that even matter to you?
4. If given a chance, will you make a career pivot right now? If yes, what would you like to venture into?
5. Do you prefer to work alone, or do you like the magic of teams?
6. Who’s the most annoying boss you have ever worked for? Why do you call them the ‘most annoying?’
7. What does your dream boss look and behave like? Can you describe them in detail?
8. Why did you pick this career path?
9. If you get a better job offer that pays you more money, will you leave your current job for it?
10. What are your goals and aspirations for your career? Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years as far as your career is concerned?
11. What do you enjoy most about your current job or career?
12. How do you handle stress or pressure in your work?
13. Have you ever taken risks or made bold career moves? How did they turn out?
14. How do you keep up with industry trends or advancements in your field?
15. Have you ever experienced a significant setback or failure in your career? How did you overcome it?
16. What are some career-related experiences that have shaped you as a person?
17. Are there any specific industries or fields that you are interested in exploring in the future?
18. How do you balance your personal values and ethics with your professional responsibilities?
19. Have you ever had a mentor or someone who influenced your career choices?
20. How do you define success in your career, and do you believe you have achieved it?

Ask these personal questions to get to know someone when you want to probe into your partner’s choice of career a bit. Remember to cut them some slack as well. They may not have all the answers, and that’s absolutely fine.

Questions about love and relationships

Here are some ‘questions to get to know someone’ for couples that you can ask your partner at any time. These are romantic questions to ask when getting to know someone’s views on love and relationships.

1. What is your primary love expression?
2. What has your love life been like in the past? How many people have you dated?
3. What was your worst breakup experience?
4. Have you ever been on a blind date? Did you enjoy yourself during the date, or was it a cringe-worthy experience?
5. What are your relationship deal breakers?
6. Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? If yes, have you ever had that soulmate connection with anyone in your past? How was it?
7. Are you a ‘committed relationships’ kinda person, or do you just like to go with the flow?
8. How long has been your longest relationship?
9. What do you look out for in a partner? What are the qualities you would like your ideal partner to possess?
10. How do you prefer to resolve conflict in your relationship? Among yourselves or with external mediators?
11. What does love mean to you?
12. What are your views on trust and how do you build it in a relationship?
13. What are your expectations regarding communication and openness in a partnership?
14. What role does physical intimacy play in your idea of a fulfilling relationship?
15. What are your thoughts on shared responsibilities and roles in a relationship?
16. How do you handle differences in values, beliefs, or interests between partners?
17. What are your expectations regarding spending quality time together?
18. How do you navigate boundaries with friends and family in a relationship?
19. How important is it for you to maintain individual hobbies and interests while in a partnership?
20. How do you envision supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations within a relationship?

When you ask these fun ‘get to know you’ questions for couples, you position yourself to better understand your partner and what an ideal relationship looks like to them.

Questions on the lighter side

These 20 questions to get to know someone are perfect for unwinding after a long and stressful day. These fun ‘get to know you’ questions also help you to appreciate your partner’s sense of humor.

1. What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done in your entire life?
2. What was your most embarrassing moment growing up?
3. What’s the funniest thing you’ve done on a date challenge?
4. What is the most hilarious Halloween costume you’ve ever dressed up in?
5. If you could be a hero in the Marvel Universe, which hero would you be? Why have you chosen to be this hero?
6. What’s the craziest thing you ever did at a teen’s party (if you ever attended any)?
7. How do you spend Christmas and other popular holidays as a family?
8. Have you ever fought with a neighbor? Can you tell me what caused it and how you resolved the issue?
9. If the last 5 emojis you’ve used on your phone signify your love life, what would your love life look like at the moment?
10. What’s the funniest prank you’ve imagined (or even played) on your best friend?
11. What’s the most embarrassing song or artist that you secretly enjoy?
12. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten and actually liked?
13. What’s the silliest fear or phobia you have?
14. What’s the weirdest or funniest dream you’ve ever had?
15. If you were a comedian, what would your stage name be and what type of jokes would you tell?
16. What’s the silliest fashion trend you’ve ever followed or secretly wanted to try?
17. What’s the most unusual or amusing talent you possess?
18. If you could have a personal theme song that played every time you entered a room, what would it be and why?
19. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only have one type of food, what would it be?
20. If you could have any animal as a pet, regardless of practicality, what would you choose and why?

The feel-good questions

Here are some positive questions to get to know someone better while provoking a thoughtful conversation. These light and good questions to ask can set the stage for further discussion.

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to live? Why have you chosen this place?
2. What’s your favorite holiday?
3. What would your knee-jerk representation be? Half-full or half-empty?
4. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? A surprise party you absolutely didn’t know about?
5. What do you do to keep fit?
6. If you could have a 1-hour conversation with a celebrity over a cup of coffee, who would it be, and what would you want them to talk about?
7. How many languages do you speak? Are you currently working on increasing the number?
8. What’s the most daring goal you’ve ever pursued? Did you achieve it during the time frame you set?
9. What’s that one thing you will never do again because it went south the last time you did it?
10. How would you describe yourself; introvert, extrovert, controvert?
11. What activities or hobbies make you feel the happiest and most fulfilled?
12. Can you share a heartwarming or inspiring story from your life that always brings a smile to your face?
13. What small gestures or acts of kindness do you appreciate the most?
14. Is there a book, movie, or song that has a special place in your heart and always brings you joy?
15. Are there any charitable causes or volunteer work that resonate with you and make you feel fulfilled?
16. Do you have any personal rituals or self-care practices that help you recharge and stay positive?
17. Can you share a fond childhood memory that still brings you joy to this day?
18. What do you love most about spending time with family or close friends?
19. If given a chance what is the one thing you would like to pursue or try?
20. What do you like the most about nature?

These are good questions to get to know someone, and they will let you in on some of the random things about your partner you never knew.

Questions with depth

Here are some meaningful things to ask to get to know someone better. Try these ‘get to know each other’ questions to connect on a deeper level.

1. What would you say is your life’s purpose? Are you still figuring it out?
2. What is your proudest accomplishment so far?
3. If you could only do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
4. What’s the meaning of your name?
5. If money wasn’t a factor to consider, what career path would you choose?
6. Do you see yourself giving back to society, or would you rather live a quiet life? If you see yourself giving back, how do you plan to achieve this?
7. What’s the biggest lesson about relationships and forgiveness that life has taught you?
8. Looks or intelligence; which would you rather trade for the other and why?
9. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
10. If you could become the President, what’s the first thing you would do?
11. What are your core values, and how do they guide your life and decision-making?
12. Can you describe a defining moment or experience in your life that shaped who you are today?
13. What are your biggest fears or insecurities, and how do you cope with them?
14. How do you handle failure or setbacks, and what have you learned from those experiences?
15. Are there any significant relationships or connections from your past that still influence you today?
16. How do you navigate and reconcile any conflicts between your personal goals and societal expectations?
17. Are there any unresolved emotional wounds or traumas from your past that still impact you?
18. Can you describe a time when you had to make a difficult moral or ethical decision?
19. What role does spirituality or faith play in your life, if any?
20. How do you handle and process emotions, both positive and negative, in your daily life?

Questions about family

Family-based questions are the best questions to get to know someone and understand where they come from.

1. How many siblings do you have?
2. Which sibling is your favorite and why?
3. What’s that standing rule in your family you never dared disobey as a child?
4. Which of your parents do you feel is cooler and why?
5. What meal did your mom always prepare every chance she got?
6. Who in your family knows you the most?
7. What is your family’s best holiday tradition?
8. How would you describe your parents’ relationship? Beautiful? Exciting?? Or…
9. What’s the best moment you had with your parents while growing up?
10. Would you want to start a family, or would you rather be without children?
11. What role does extended family play in your life, and how often do you interact with them?
12. Can you share any challenges or obstacles your family has faced and how you overcame them together?
13. What are your thoughts on the concept of “family” and the role it plays in a person’s life?
14. How do you navigate conflicts or disagreements within your family, and how do you work towards resolution?
15. Can you describe any ways in which your family has supported and influenced your personal and professional development?
16. What are your thoughts on the roles and expectations placed on different family members (e.g., gender roles, generational roles)?
17. How do you handle differences in opinion or lifestyle choices between yourself and your family members?
18. What are your hopes and aspirations for your family’s future, and how do you plan to contribute to those goals?
19. What are some important lessons you’ve learned from your family that have shaped who you are?
20. Do you know about your family’s ancestry?

 Questions about dreams

1. What’s your biggest life goal?
2. Where do you see yourself in the next few years?
3. Where would you be happiest to live?
4. Given the chance right now, which organization would you live to work for and why?
5. Do you plan to run your own business someday, or are you happy with being an employee?
6. What’s your dream vacation destination?
7. If a genie appears to you right now and gives an open cheque, what one thing will you ask it to do for you?
8. What’s your dream car?
9. If you could change your nationality right now, what country would it be?
10. Do you see yourself attaining your life’s purpose? If not, why not?
11. Can you describe a specific goal or dream that you are currently working towards?
12. What steps are you taking or planning to take to achieve your dreams?
13. How do you define success for yourself, and how does it align with your dreams?
14. Are there any mentors or role models who have influenced your dreams?
15. Are there any specific skills or knowledge that you believe are necessary to achieve your aspirations?
16. Can you describe any sacrifices or trade-offs you are willing to make to pursue your dreams?
17. Are there any specific areas or industries that you are passionate about and want to make a difference in?
18. Can you share any short-term or intermediate goals that serve as stepping stones towards your larger aspirations?
19. How do you stay focused and maintain momentum toward your dreams?
20. What legacy or impact do you hope to leave behind as a result of pursuing and achieving your aspirations?

Questions about values

Values form the foundation of one’s personality. These are some of the best questions to get to know someone based on their values.

1. What is your biggest pet peeve at the moment?
2. Are you usually early or late?
3. What one thing do you hope never changes in your life?
4. What takes up most of your time on an average day?
5. How do you wish people treated you more frequently?
6. What qualities are non-negotiable for you in a partner?
7. Which successful person has impressed you the most with their work and success?
8. What one thing do you wish everyone around you could do differently?
9. What’s the best experience the people in your life have given you in the past?
10. What is that one thing you can never retire to bed at night without doing?
11. What are the most important values to you in life?
12. How do your values influence your decision-making process?
13. What do you believe is the role of integrity in upholding your values?
14. How do you ensure that your values align with your goals and aspirations?
15. How do your values influence your relationships and interactions with others?
16. Is there any value that you are currently working on cultivating?
17. Do you wish to pass on and instill your values in future generations?
18. Are there any examples of how your values have guided you through challenging times?
19. Are you open to evaluating and reassessing your values over time?
20. What are some values you wish to see more actively in your community or society?

Unconventional questions

Get ready for some unexpected answers or reactions as you ask your partner these unconventional ‘get to know you’ questions.

1. What is your favorite body part?
2. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
3. At what age did you officially consider yourself an adult?
4. What’s the hardest thing that you’ve ever done?
5. What’s the worst thing that happened to you, which turned out to be quite good after all?
6. What was the last movie or book that made you tear up? Why did you have this reaction to it?
7. If you were to make a soundtrack of your life, what songs would you add to it?
8. What do you do for fun after a long day at work?
9. If you had to change your name, what new name would you pick up?
10. Do you believe in reincarnation? What creature do you think you’ll come back as in your next life?
11. If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would you choose and why?
12. If you were a flavor of ice cream, what would you be and why?
13. If you could live in any fictional universe, which one would you choose and why?
14. If you could instantly become fluent in any language, which one would you choose?
15. Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere instantly or be able to read minds?
16. If you could have any superpower, but it could only be used in the most mundane situations, what would it be?
17. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
18. Would you rather have the ability to time travel to the past or to the future?
19. What’s the strangest or funniest item you’ve ever owned or wanted to own?
20. If you could go back to your childhood, what’s the one thing you would like to change?

Also, here are some tips on how to understand your partner better:

Personal questions

1. How many people have you been in love with before now?
2. Tell me about your first love.
3. If you could speak to a deceased family member for just 1 minute, what would you say to them?
4. What in your life are you most grateful for?
5. What is the biggest regret of your life to date?
6. What’s your favorite season of the year?
7. What’s that thing you hardly show people about yourself, but you know it’s there?
8. What’s your biggest fear?
9. If you could turn back the hands of time, what one decision of yours will you undo?
10. Do you like hanging around people or being left alone when you are sad?
11. What is your proudest accomplishment in life so far?
12. How do you define happiness and what brings you the most joy in life?
13. What are your thoughts on personal growth?
14. Can you recall a lesson or piece of advice that has had a profound impact on your life?
15. Can you share a personal habit or routine that you consider necessary?
16. Can you share a quality or trait you admire in others?
17. Are you religious? What do you do to express your faith in God?
18. Do you have any major insecurities that you would like to talk about?
19. What is the one social cause you deeply believe in?
20. Have you had any traumatic experiences in your life?

Knowing them a bit more with every answer

Knowing the questions to ask to get to know someone is a step in the right direction regarding your relationship. However, to make the most out of these exercises, you must ask these questions at the right time and in the appropriate atmosphere.

Also, remember that your partner is just another human, and depending on their experiences/temperament, they may want to pull back when you ask them certain ‘questions to get to know someone’. You can advise them to seek couples counseling if there are any unresolved issues from their past.

Please, cut them some slack and don’t push things when they aren’t ready to talk about them. Take things nice and slow and we’re sure you will form a stronger bond over time.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less