45 Funny Wedding Messages

A happily married couple will look through their wedding cards and guestbook entries for the rest of their lives. They’ll look back on their friend’s wedding wishes, and sage advice with fondness, but why not make them look back on yours with laughter?

Make your wedding card or guestbook entry stand out from the crowd by using some of these funny wedding messages as a guideline.

A wedding is a much-awaited event in every individual’s life. The beautiful and funny wedding wishes, wedding congratulations messages, happy married life wishes, and other wedding wishes from friends and families make the day even more special for the couple. Random wedding day wishes, or wedding messages to the bride and groom will fail to create a lasting impression on the newlywed couple.

If your best friend is walking down the aisle, then simple wedding wishes messages will fail to bring that beautiful smile on her/his face. You need to be more creative and come up with some really funny wedding messages and wedding wishes quotes for them.

What to write on a wedding card?

Are you wondering what to write in a wedding card, funny and heartfelt at the same time?

Just relax and pen down your thoughts in beautifully creative and funny words.

As long as your wedding congratulations message is honest and heartfelt, your funny wedding messages can make your buddy smile just a little, and the wedding wishes quotes sound inspiring and positive to your friend, then your efforts will surely pay off.

But, composing funny wedding wishes for a best friend can seem to be an overwhelming task, especially if you aren’t so comfortable at writing your own stuff. Moreover, you would never want to annoy your friend under the pretext of making up funny wedding messages.

But, if words do not come naturally to you, then refer back to this article for some of the best and funny wedding messages. The following wedding day quotes and funny wedding card messages are simple yet funny, and your friend will adore them for years to come.

So, let’s have a look at 45 incredible funny wedding messages when you are looking forward to saying congratulations on your wedding in a hilarious way.

Funny wedding messages for newly-weds

1. “I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.”
2. “To the man who couldn’t spring for drinks when he was out with the guys, but is now blowing up his money on his huge wedding, you have left no doubt that you love this girl/guy! Congratulations.”
3. “You’ve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!”
4. “There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.”
5. “Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”
6. “May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.”
7. “As Bill and Ted said, ‘Be excellent to each other.’ “
8. “Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The Mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!”
9. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.”
10. “In the words of Mindy Kaling: I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high–five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”
11. “Getting married is like going to drama school. May there be more comedy than melodrama.”
12. “Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!”
13. “And now you two have officially become one: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”
14. “Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!”
15. “May your day be extra special and fun – because tomorrow the hard work begins!”
16. “Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!”
17. “Today, I have realized that life is not fair for single people like me. Until now I had to buy you a gift only once a year on your birthday. Now I have two birthdays plus a wedding anniversary to buy gifts for. You guys are getting expensive – but so worth it! Congratulations.”
18. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. You guys must be truly insane or MADLY in love.”
19. “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
20. “They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations, you kooks!”
21. “I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
22. “Some people marry for love. Some people marry for money. Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.”
23. “In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it’s better to close them!”
24. “Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software on your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next. Congratulations on getting married.”
25. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.”
26. “Thanks for the free booze. Best wishes for a long, happy marriage!”
27. “Some future advice for the groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!”
28. “Congratulations on signing your life away!”
29. “Marriage is as easy as a walk in the park… Jurassic Park!”
30. “You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.”
31. Bride: “I do!” Groom: “I do what she says…”

Related Reading: Wedding Letter: For A Newly Married Couple

Funny wedding sayings

32. “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain

33. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

34. “Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld

35. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally

36. “Why buy the cow? Maybe because every day the cow asks you when you’re going to buy it. And you live in a really small apartment with the cow and you can’t avoid that question at all. Also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are … But for real, why buy the cow? Let’s be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do.” –John Mullaney

37. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

38. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” – Blaise Pascal

39. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant

40. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke

41. “In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland

42. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman

43. “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together, which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor

44. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash

45. “For the marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” —Catherine Zeta-Jones

Also, you can watch the video below for some unique wedding gift ideas to go along with your funny wedding cards.

Final thoughts

Leaving humorous messages on your wedding card or guest book with personal anecdotes about the happy couple, views on children, married life, and sex are all fair game when you’re addressing the newlyweds.

These funny wedding messages will add an air of humor and truth to your guestbook entry that will make your bride and groom laugh.

You can also compose your funny wedding messages by referring back to these mentioned quotes and add a few other witty words here and there that make sense. They will be your very own artwork that you can proudly boast off in front of your gang.

And who knows, you might end up getting back the same funny wedding messages as congratulations on your wedding from the same group!