Because of the influence of movies, books, and even vlogs, people are slowly embracing the reality of BDSM and how it works. Still, there are many things that most of us don’t quite understand. An example could be when we are talking about the subject of a sexually submissive man.
When we say a submissive man, individuals might think of a man who is weak, shy, and someone who can’t stand up for himself. However, this is not what a submissive man looks like. A submissive male can be confident, physically fit, smart, professional, and a wonderful family man.
Hence, understanding the signs you’re in a relationship with a submissive man becomes crucial so you can understand your partner better. So, let’s take a look at these signs and learn how you can handle this dynamic partnership.
Being submissive in bed vs. being submissive in your relationship
What is a submissive man? What’s the difference between being sexually submissive and just being submissive in your relationship? You may want to know how to tell if a man is just sexually submissive or is submissive in your relationship.
There are a few differences when it comes to male-submissive behavior between sexually submissive men and submissive individuals in a relationship.
When it comes to “submissive sexually meaning,” a sexually submissive man:
allows his partner to be sexually submissive in their sex life
he gets attracted to aggressive female behavior
outside of the bedroom, they are equals
there is no power struggle
A submissive man in a relationship is someone who:
chooses to be submissive sexually and outside the relationship
he willingly allows himself to follow the lead of his partner
You can never guess accurately how someone thinks and acts based on their preferences or personality. However, if you’re curious about the thought process of a sexually submissive man, there are a few things you can guess.
Inside a submissive man’s mind, there may be a desire to relinquish control and find fulfillment in serving and pleasing their partner. They may experience a sense of submission as a deeply rooted aspect of their identity, finding pleasure in surrendering power and embracing their partner’s dominance.
Their thoughts may be focused on their partner’s needs and desires, striving to meet them with loyalty, respect, and obedience. They may also seek comfort and security in their submissive role, finding solace in the structure and guidance provided by their partner.
Overall, their mindset may revolve around servitude and the gratification of their partner.
27 signs you’re in a relationship with a submissive man
What if a submissive man is in a relationship? Are there clues to know if you’re in love with a sexually submissive guy? Or maybe you’re already married to a submissive husband, and you’re not aware of it?
Here are 27 signs of a submissive personality, which can help you know how you want to move forward in your relationship as you understand your partner more.
1. He wants his woman to take control
He willingly allows you to take control. Some submissive male traits include allowing you to make the big decisions in your relationships. Your partner lets you choose what’s best for your relationship and your kids.
2. He loves it when you are aggressive
His adoration toward you increases when you’re aggressive. If you’re tired of being submissive to a man, some men would like it the other way around. His heart would flutter when you are aggressive, not just in bed but even in your everyday life.
3. He is not interested in getting the upper hand
Don’t worry. You can take the lead. One of the most common submissive boyfriend characteristics is that he allows you to have the upper hand. He won’t even question you or your decisions.
4. He looks up to you
A submissive man literally looks up to you. This may be weird for some, but being physically under his woman excites a submissive man. For submissive men, being physically dominated in this way can be both exciting and deeply fulfilling.
However, it is essential to note that this desire for submission is not linked to weakness or lack of confidence but is rather a fundamental aspect of their identity.
Looking at women in power makes him excited. We’re talking about a man who loves to see women speak in public. He has crushes when he sees women who have power. It’s the opposite of the misogynistic behavior of certain men.
6. He loves it when you handle your sex life
He gets turned on when you do what you want with him in bed. If you want to pleasure a submissive man, do what you want and be aggressive with him. He might always choose the submissive character if you love trying out role-playing games in bed.
7. High heels are a big turn-on
High heels make a woman confident. A sexually submissive man knows this, and he views you as a powerful woman when you’re in heels. He might even show interest in your feet and toes.
8. A certified old-fashioned gentleman
Being a gentleman is nice, but is he overdoing it? A submissive man will go all out when putting his woman first. He would open the door for her, carry her belongings, ask her to go inside first, etc.
It’s their way of showing how a woman should come first – in every way.
Some men hate it when you become mean to others, but for a submissive man, it’s pleasurable. Have you ever scolded an employee? Have you ever shown someone your superiority? This is a sight that is enjoyable for a submissive male.
10. He supports female bosses
Most men will boast about how great men are, but not submissive men. For subs, female superiority is the best thing there is. They would cite examples of female leaders, rich and powerful women bosses, and just how amazing women are.
11. Penetration is not his priority
When it comes to lovemaking, submissive men don’t prioritize penetration. They could prefer being rejected and sometimes even humiliated and punished. Your boyfriend might like it better if he would be the one pleasuring you.
12. He loves to serve you
Finding a man ready to serve and please you, isn’t this a dream come true? You can ask him to pick up the kids, wash the dishes, or do the laundry; he will do it with a smile.
For most women, this is indeed a dream come true. A man prioritizing his girlfriend or wife over other things may mean that he really loves you or that he’s submissive in your relationship.
13. He shaves – everything
Is your man smooth like a baby? Does he shave his leg hair, pubic area, chest hair, and even his armpit hair? While there are men who do this out of vanity, this is also a common trait among submissive men. It makes them look and feel vulnerable.
14. He wants you to take him and have your way
When doing foreplay, does he love it when you’re being aggressive? If he loves it when you throw him on the bed and do what you want to him, then he may be a sub. He may love being blindfolded and being punished, too.
15. He loves it when you wear something naughty
What you wear can define you. That is why some submissive men get turned on when their wives wear something naughty. It can be because of her red stilettos, black coat, body-fitting dresses, and even red lipstick.
16. He’s okay with being punished
Punishing your spouse? That’s a treat if you ask a submissive man. It’s a giveaway if you want to know if a man is sexually submissive.
He might love it if you tell him to sleep on the floor or get things for you. If you get kinky and punish him, that may arouse him even more. He might even ask you to be his domme.
17. He is willing to please you the best he can
He may pretend to be your slave in bed as a part of foreplay. Does he love it when you tell him what to do?
You might notice that he doesn’t even try to ask you to satisfy him. It’s because he’s already getting turned on when you ask him to please you.
18. He is a wonderful father
A submissive man in a relationship can be a great father, which is one of the reasons why some women prefer submissive men in relationships. They would be present in their child’s lives.
He’d be hands-on and would even offer to change those soiled diapers. Most often, if this couple would get divorced, he would be the one who would battle for custody.
19. He knows how to clean, and he does it well
When you ask him to clean the house, he’ll do it and be happy about it. Submissive people can have a fetish for doing chores like cleaning, massaging your feet, cleaning your shoes, etc. It somehow gives them satisfaction.
To be submissive in a relationship, you should be the one who will oblige. No buts, no ifs, just being happy whenever you are given something to do.
It’s the sub’s purpose. So, a demanding wife or girlfriend is a delight for them. You may think he’s just super kind, but it also brings him happiness. The more demanding and authoritative you are, the better.
21. He finds joy in your achievements
A submissive man takes immense pleasure in your accomplishments. Whether it’s a promotion at work, a personal achievement, or a minor success, he genuinely celebrates your victories. His happiness stems from seeing you succeed, reinforcing his submissive nature by prioritizing your well-being over his ego.
22. He enjoys being restrained
If he expresses a desire for light bondage or enjoys being tied up during intimate moments, it’s a strong indicator of his submissive inclinations. The act of physical restraint may evoke a sense of vulnerability and excitement, fulfilling his submissive fantasies and adding a unique dynamic to your intimate relationship.
23. He admires your confidence
Your confidence is a major turn-on for him. A submissive man is attracted to your assertiveness and self-assured nature. He thrives on the energy you exude when you take charge of situations, whether in professional settings or personal matters, reinforcing his admiration for strong, confident women.
24. He seeks your approval
A submissive partner values your opinions and seeks your approval in various aspects of life. From making decisions to choosing outfits, he looks to you for guidance and validation. His eagerness to please you extends beyond the bedroom, reflecting his submissive nature in everyday interactions and choices.
25. He enjoys public displays of affection
Submissive men often appreciate public displays of affection. Holding hands, cuddling, or stealing a kiss in public isn’t just about expressing love but also fulfilling his desire for you to showcase your control and dominance in the relationship, even in the presence of others.
Watch this video by Jordan B Peterson, a Canadian psychologist and author, as he explains why you should submit to your spouse in your relationship:
26. He responds well to teasing
Playful teasing is a delightful experience for a submissive man. Whether it’s light banter or flirtatious comments, he enjoys the playful dynamic, finding pleasure in the subtle power exchange. Teasing becomes a form of foreplay, creating an intimate connection that aligns with his submissive tendencies.
27. He values emotional connection
Beyond physical aspects, a submissive man places a high value on emotional connection. Meaningful conversations, shared vulnerabilities, and genuine emotional intimacy are crucial components of a satisfying relationship for him. He seeks a deep bond that goes beyond traditional gender roles, emphasizing emotional understanding and support.
Being in a relationship with a submissive man can raise many queries among individuals. Below, you’ll find brief yet informative answers to some of the most common queries regarding submissive personalities, romance, and relationships.
What is a submissive personality?
A submissive personality refers to someone willing or inclined to submit or yield to others’ authority and comply with their wishes or demands. Such individuals tend to be meek and deferential and can lack the assertiveness to take charge or control of their lives.
What does submissive mean in romance?
In a romantic context, being submissive refers to a person willingly yielding to the desires and preferences of their partner. It may include engaging in submissive acts, such as complying with requests or directives, relinquishing control, or taking a passive role in intimate situations.
How to be submissive to your husband?
Being submissive to one’s husband requires conscious obedience, humility, and serving one’s partner with respect and devotion. It involves submitting to their needs and wishes, being attentive to their demands, and fulfilling their desires without resistance or resentment.
When a man wants you to submit to him?
When a man wants a woman to submit to him, it may signify a desire for control or dominance over the relationship.
It may also stem from a preference for traditional gender roles or a deeper psychological need for authority. However, it is crucial to remember that submission must be consensual, mutual, and safe.
If you think you are in a relationship or are in love with a submissive man, then it’s up to both of you how you will make it work in your relationship.
If your partner is indeed a submissive man, may it be sexually or even in your relationship, you have to please him by being his domme. Communication will play a significant role so that you can both be happy.
Even if a man enjoys submissiveness at times, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be dominating or play these roles in every sex act. There is a lot of room for variation, so be sure to communicate your questions and concerns.
The best way to understand his interests and desires is to encourage open communication. This means trying not to judge or criticize but be curious and accepting. Every relationship is different, and how you make it work depends on your mutual agreement.
If being married to a submissive man is causing misunderstandings or issues in your relationship or family, then it’s best to talk to a therapist. A professional can help you with your relationship and make it work.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.