So you’re both thinking of tying the knot and taking your relationship to the next big level?
Congratulations! But before getting started on the wedding preparations, make sure you are both completely ready for the change.
Marriage readiness is a crucial topic and one that must be fully thought over. Prepare a pre-marriage checklist (one that suits your situation) and discuss matters fully with your partner.
To help you out, we present a ready for marriage checklist with some crucial marriage questions that will help set a strong foundation of your relationship.
Key questions that must be on your marriage readiness checklist:
1. Am I ready to get married?
This is probably one of the most important questions before marriage one should ask themselves; preferably before the engagement, but this question can linger after the excitement of the initial engagement has worn off.
If the answer is, “No” don’t go through with it.
This is a non-negotiable part of your ready for marriage checklist.
2. Is this truly the right person for me?
This question goes in line with, “Am I ready?”
Can you put up with the minor annoyances? Can you overlook some of their weird habits and embrace their quirks?
Do you two fight all the time or are you generally copasetic?
This is a question best asked before the engagement but can be bothersome all the way up to the ceremony. If your answer is, “No” again don’t go through with the marriage.
Creating a thorough checklist before marriage will help you determine if your relationship with your partner will hold ground against all odds or fizzle out.
3. How much will our wedding cost?
The average wedding costs anywhere from $20,000-$30,000.
Are you ready for marriage?
Before you answer in affirmative, Discuss the wedding budget as it is an important part of modern-day couples ready for marriage checklist.
Of course, this is merely a snapshot and the range is huge. A courthouse affair will cost you roughly $150 and the cost of a dress should you choose all the way up to a multi-day extravaganza which may cost $60,000 or more.
Discuss and come up with a budget – then stick to it as a part of your ready for marriage checklist.
4. Will/should the bride change her name?
Traditions are shifting and culturally it’s not so unusual for a woman to keep her last name or use a hyphenate.
Make sure you discuss this beforehand. One of the questions you should ask before marriage is her opinion on changing her name.
Give her respect and a sense of autonomy by keeping in mind such questions to ask before you marry. She may not be completely traditional and you both need to be okay with the outcome.
In the end, it is her choice to change or not. This is something that never figured as prominently as it figures now in a couple’s ready for marriage checklist.
5. Do you want children? If so, how many?
If one party wants kids and the other doesn’t resentment will grow.
If the couples skip discussing children as a part of the ready for marriage checklist, it can create conflicts regarding finance and lifestyle.
If the spouse that wants children has to give up that dream, they may wind up hating the other and may go so far as to end the marriage if that is what they truly want. If kids happen anyway, the party that didn’t want kids may feel trapped or tricked.
So discuss this thoroughly before making any major commitment. Also, it would be a good idea to take up a marriage readiness test as you start a new chapter in your life.
Equally helpful is creating a relationship checklist before marriage.
6. How will children affect our relationship
Because they will affect your relationship. Sometimes in a subtle way for some and for others, their entire relationship dynamic may flip.
The getting ready for marriage checklist should include how parenthood can affect marital life.
If you two bond together and decide to be a united team, children won’t shift things too much. If your bond is strong to begin with children will test you a little, but ultimately strengthen and add to the familial bond you’ve started as a married couple.
7. Will/should we combine bank accounts?
Some couples do and some don’t. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this one. Decide what will work best for your dynamic.
Questions couples should ask before marriage should also center around financial compatibility, spending habits, individual money mindset, and long term financial goals.
The answers may change at some point, as needs change in life so the choice made today might not be the permanent one.
A pre-marriage checklist is a great tool to know more about the person you are marrying, leverage it to your advantage.
8. How will we handle each other’s debt?
Disclose your financial past to each other. Full disclosure is an imperative part of the ready for marriage checklist.
Do not hide any of this because like it or not your situations will be combining and affecting each other.
If one has a 500 FICO and the other an 800 FICO this will have an impact on any major loan purchases such as a home or a vehicle if financing is needed.
Don’t wait until the loan application is submitted on your dream home to discuss. Any secrets will come out anyway, be upfront and come up with a plan to tackle the debt situation.
9. What will happen to our sex life?
This one pops up a bunch because of the misconception that once a ring goes on, you should kiss your sex life goodbye.
If you had a healthy sex life before marriage there is no reason for that not to continue.
10. What are our expectations from marriage?
This is a very important question and needs some time to dwell on.
Discuss freely and openly what your thoughts on marriage are, what’s acceptable and what’s not (e.g cheating will be a deal-breaker).
- Expectations about careers
- Love life
- General expectations of the marriage
These are just a fraction of the potential questions in your ready for marriage checklist that should be asked before getting married. You may have some that are completely unique to your situation and that’s fine.
If you feel a topic is important to you, bring it up.
The fewer surprises that crop up after the “I dos” the fewer strains there will be on the marriage. Being honest will only set you up for a successful relationship.