Are you ready to get married? what is readiness in marriage? If you are a Christian and are thinking about marriage, then you may have been considering the topic of Christian marriage readiness.
The topic can be complex and, in some circles, even controversial—but it’s important to remember that marriage readiness is a personal choice between you and your partner that should be mutually agreed upon beforehand.
So if you happen to be someone who is struggling to understand the concept of readiness for marriage or are not sure of how do you know if you’re ready to get married.
Let’s take a closer look at the essential things about Christian marriage readiness that might help you interpret the signs you are ready to get married.
What is Christian marriage readiness?
In Christianity, marriage readiness is an informal term which refers to a couple’s preparations before they get married—and no, we’re not talking about wedding reception preparations!
Christian marriage preparations, as a general rule of thumb, are intended to help a couple confirm that they are meant for each other, that they truly want to be married, that they understand what it means to be married, and that they are actually ready to be married.
Are there any specific obligations?
Christian marriage readiness takes on many forms. For some couples, and in some churches, marriage readiness is as simply as the couple being asked to reflect on marriage, their reasons for marrying, their commitment to each other and their hopes for the future before they marry.
However, some Christians and churches have more specific readiness requirements that go a lot more in depth than simple reflection. For example, some churches require couples to go through several weeks, months (and sometimes even longer) of classes and programs before they marry.
These classes will typically include books and lessons on what the Bible says about marriage, the expectations of marriage according to modern religious teachings, the importance of the marriage partnership, and so on.
Other churches may even require couples to live apart for several months before marriage or see church-approved marriage preparation counselors who will talk to them about marriage.
Churches sometimes require couples to show proof of ‘readiness’ before they will agree to marry the couple in the church.
Do all Christians go through ‘readiness’?
No. Some Christian couples do not go through any specific readiness preparations.
This does not mean that they marry without thought or aren’t ready to be married—again, marriage readiness preparations are a personal decision that can depend on a person’s particular belief structure, their church, and even what denomination of Christianity they personally practice.
In general, ‘readiness’ is considered more of an expectation in Baptist, Catholic and more traditional churches than it is in modern churches or denominations.
What if a couple doesn’t wish to go through ‘readiness’?
If one half of the couple does not want to go through any particular readiness preparations—such as a required church program—then the couple will need to have a serious discussion with each other about how they feel they should go forward.
In a best-case scenario, the couple may resolve their differences or come to some sort of compromise; in a worst-case scenario, it may cause a potential problem for the marriage.
Pre-marriage checklist to determine ‘readiness’
When we talk about wedding planning, we tend to focus on preparations for the big day but neglect to plan the marriage. To help you plan your marriage better, it is important to include a pre-marriage checklist.
Take for example your social media habits. How are they different from your partner’s? Is anyone of you addicted to social media? Will this interrupt or intervene in your marriage? These are just some of the things you need to discuss and ponder over.
Marriage readiness questionnaire
Next, ask the following questions that will help you assess your marital readiness. Be honest while answering them.
- Do you understand yourself as an individual?
- Do you feel comfortable to discuss each other’s differences?
- Are you fully committed to each other to make your relationship work?
- How much time would you be willing to devote to your life partner?
- How is your relationship with your family?
- How comfortable are you when making tough decisions?
- Are you compelled to please others when you make your decisions?
- Would your marriage be your highest priority in life?
- How good are you at resolving conflicts in your relationships?
- Do you understand the necessity of compromise in a marriage, and are you willing to practice it in your marriage?
Make sure to be fully prepared for the journey that you are about, to begin with, your partner.
Read Christian books before marriage, know the Christian beliefs about marriage, take a marriage readiness test, and you can always rely on a marriage readiness questionnaire to mentally prepare you for marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.