We human beings are configured to form and be engaged in meaningful relationships. Connection is a fundamental human trait. Sadly, the way we engage in relationships can sometimes cause pain and confusion in our lives.
What makes up a healthy and successful relationship? How do you define a healthy relationship? This is an important question to ask at certain points of a relationship. Until you can make a list of healthy and meaningful things out of your relationship you might be heading towards a relationship that is filled with pain and confusion. NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT, as we know it consists of two or more different personalities with different needs, desires, expectations, thoughts, ideas and expressions. We must all experience conflicts of interest and needs, but I think it is safer to know the degrees of the conflicts of interest and needs to expect than being surprised.
Below are checklists for deciding whether or not a new or existing relationship is worth it.
Is your partner supportive of your life outside your relationship?
Does your partner encourage you to pursue your dreams, goals, ambitions, hobbies, other familial relationships and friendships external to the relationship? If yes, you are in a non-toxic relationship with positive partner. If not, be careful, because that’s how a lot of toxic relationships begin.
You should be engaged in a relationship whereby your partner loves and cherishes what you choose, who you choose, how you choose and when you choose things done outside the relationship. If he or she is not happy with your life outside your relationship, you should flee or break up with the person because he or she is obviously a toxic person.
Do you engage in active and fair arguments?
Does your partner disagree with the wrongs in your life? Do both of you both have conflict of interests? If yes, then he or she is the person you should be with. If not, try and work things out between the both of you.
Note: If emotions are boiling over and you end up in explosive fights with insults, break up with the partner. It is a passive and unfair argument and it is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
Yes, partners disagree at some point of their relationship. But it shouldn’t be the kind of argument that will lead to physical abuse or insults.
Do you find each other attractive and are sexually compatible?
For most people, they don’t develop their physical attractiveness while in a relationship. So it is vital to be with a partner you find physically attractive.
We are not saying you have to be with people who are only extremely gorgeous or have supermodel-like looks, but you do need to find them attractive and compatible.
Talking about sexual compatibility, you shouldn’t be with a person who is not compatible with you sexually. Your partner might want the both of you to be sexually intimate while you might want to have just sex after marriage – this is an example of a sexually incompatible relationship.
For a relationship to be healthy and successful, you have to be emotionally, physically and intellectually compatible.
Do you take pride in each other’s accomplishments?
You should be with a partner who proudly brags and gloats about you and your accomplishments to all his/her family, friends and co-workers.
Is your partner jealous of your accomplishments? It’s okay to be jealous of your partner accomplishments but you should get over it in no time.
If you are in a relationship with a partner who is constantly trying to outdo you, break up and flee from such person. This partner will always be jealous of whatever progress it is you made or accomplish. This is an unhealthy competition and it is never good for a healthy relationship.
Do you have common interests?
This is a question that is to be asked before getting intimate in a relationship. Do you both share things in common? Do you both enjoy a particular thing? Are you positively interested and active in the actions of your partner?
You can really enjoy being with someone, but that doesn’t mean that you have enough things in common to keep the relationship and conversations alive. Having someone who enjoys the same, hobbies as you is always great and a sign of a healthy and successful relationship. You can spend time together bonding and getting to discover more about each other over a shared hobby or common interest. It might be both of enjoy watching some TV programmes together, reading some books together, interested in a type of fashion line or cars and so on.
If you don’t have a something in common like a hobby or interest, it will be difficult to be together for a very long time, although it is still possible to build common interests and hobbies together to foster the relationship.