While you might be enjoying sex, you aren’t always making love. Can you tell the difference?
Making love goes far beyond fulfilling your or your partner’s sexual needs. It means connecting to your partner on an emotional and physical level. One of the stark differences between having sex and making love is that making love involves love, affection and consideration while having sex is simply means connecting to someone sexually.
So, what are the signs he enjoys making love to you? Even though making love is a feeling of deep connection, there are still plenty of signs he enjoys making love to you. Lovemaking is not an isolated moment but about the whole experience.
If the conversation flows easily, this is one of the signs he is making love to you. If he is relaxed and casual yet has confident energy, chances are your man is attracted to you sexually but willing to wait.
2. Clean shirt
How did he show up?
Showing up in a clean shirt to be presentable to you is one of the greatest signs he is making love to you.
If he took the time and effort to shower and put on some sexy smelling cologne or deodorant, these are all physical signs of love. Meaning he wants to impress you, and he’s interested in more than just sex with you.
3. There is no rush
What does making love mean to a man?
For many, it is a form of seeking relief. For such men, there is no rush to get into bed. Although there are signs he enjoys you in bed, there is absolutely no pressure to get down to business. You spend time chatting and kissing.
These are signs he enjoys making love to you. You talk about your days and have a good dialogue before making it to the bedroom.
He continues to check in during sex. He asks if the position is ok for you. He says, “Does this feel good?” continuously making sure that you’re ok and having a pleasure-filled time. He is building trust and showing he cares by making love to you.
6. He’s attentive
If he enjoys sex and making love, you’ll find that he will ask you what you like, and he listens.
When a man looks into your eyes while making love, he is actively trying to create a dialogue between the two of you for a mutually enjoyable love making. He asks you what you like, and he listens. Sex vs. making love is the difference between an engaged partner and a selfish one.
Your boundaries are highly regarded and respected whether you’ve communicated them before sex or during sex. If you ask him to stop, he does. Simple as that. This should be a base level for all men. A man who is making love with you would never push your boundaries.
8. Praising you
He gives lots of verbal affection. When a man and woman are making love, the man is likely to praise the whole woman, not just her body. He wants to shower you with praise that goes beyond your physical being.
His words are signs he enjoys making love to you. He wants you to feel good as a human, as a lover.
9. Eye contact
Sustained eye contact releases chemicals in our brains that foster human bonds and connections. When a man looks into your eyes while making love, this is a physical sign of love.
It shows that he enjoys sex with you and cares about sustaining a bond.
If he doesn’t go straight for penetration, it is one of the most significant signs he is making love to you.
He enjoys the process of making love with you. If a man consistently takes the time to build sexual tension, you can feel confident that he wants to make love with you. Men and women making love are willing to wait for it.
11. Aware of contraception
He is aware of contraception and health risks. He takes the initiative to bring his protection and brings it out at the right time. It’s a sign of interest for your wellbeing when a man takes ownership of his contraception without having to be asked.
Rough and aggressive sex is fun and pleasurable, especially when there is a lot of chemistry and passion between you two. But if he also takes the time to slow down and bring a romantic pace into the lovemaking, this is a sign he enjoys making love to you.
13. Uses your name
When a guy says he wants you sexually and uses your name, it is a sign he enjoys making love to you.
It means your name has been on their mind. He wants to say it and have you hear it. This can be a vulnerable thing for men and women alike. So, hearing your name is a very clear sign isn’t just sex. When a man wants you sexually, he will use your name.
14. The hands
Where are their hands during sex? Do they take the time to tenderly hold your head? Do they brush your hair out of your face or caress your waist with a gentle soft touch?
If they do, that means they are making a conscious effort to show you how precious and special they think you’re.
Making love to a woman requires a man to be fully present.
One of the key differences in lovemaking is the matter of being present. Is he fully taken by the experience? Does he glance at the clock or out the window?
He shouldn’t talk about something unrelated to the sexual experience. Making love to a woman means giving themselves fully to being present with you.
16. Tries new things
He is up for trying new things like different sex positions, locations, or toys. If a man is attracted to you sexually, he will be open to doing new things with you. It shows vulnerability and reveals that they feel safe and supported in the bedroom.
Trust is a huge factor when it comes to lovemaking.
17. Lots of kisses
In lovemaking, there are lots of kisses. We communicate so much through a kiss. Soft, sweet kisses are often reserved for people we are feeling connected with.
Kissing someone you love can feel addictively good. He enjoys making love to you if he can’t get enough of your kisses.
Sometimes the details expose hidden messages during sex. Does he move a pillow out of the way because it was inconvenient for you? Does he remember the positions that were pleasurable to you? All these are the signs he enjoys with you in bed to communicate his passion and love.
19. He shows vulnerability
If he says no to a suggestion you make or states his boundaries, that means he is showing vulnerability, and that’s a great thing. It’s harder for men to be vulnerable than women. So, if he expresses himself in a way that is scary to him, then these are signs he enjoys making love to you.
Mirroring is when we mimic someone’s actions. Notice if he is mirroring your actions.
Mimicking shows physical signs of love. If you kiss him on the neck and then he does the same to you, he is mirroring. It’s a way we build and gain trust. Men enjoying sex will often mirror the person they are will to build relationship trust.
21. It’s easy to open up
If you can open up easily, ask for what you want, and moan freely, this means he is making you feel safe.
Sometimes our subconscious knows more than we do. When he enjoys sex and lovemaking, it will feel like you can open up. This is because he is pouring into you emotionally, and you feel safe to be yourself.
Men who are invested in making love make sure their partner has an earth-shattering orgasm. Maybe even more than once. This shows that they are committed to your pleasure, not just theirs. A man who takes the time and effort to bring his woman to orgasm is invested in a deep connection.
23. Lots of laughing
During and after sex, there is lots of laughing.
Laughing is a sign to show he enjoys sex and a magical way to connect with someone. It’s a way of showing ease and having fun together. Sex is sometimes awkward, but instead of strange silence, there is laughter. This is a sure sign that you’re making love.
24. Doesn’t leave right after
After the act of lovemaking is finished, you enjoy each other’s company. He doesn’t try to get up and leave right away.
He doesn’t even look at his phone or try to put on pants. If he leans into you after sex instead of facing away, this is one of the signs he is making love to you.
Long sessions of cuddling after making love are physical signs of love.
Cuddling shows he is feeling safe and secure, and comfortable with you. Men don’t create meaningful bonds without a feeling of comfort. So if he wants to cuddle after lovemaking, then he is showing you that he trusts you and feels comfortable in your arms.
26. The pillow talk
If the pillow talk is fun, easy, and endless, it’s a sign you’ve made love. Conversing and kissing and basking in each other’s sex glow is an amazing sign that you’re connecting on a deep and emotional level. It brings you both closer to each other intellectually and shows powerful chemistry.
27. He asks about it
He asks if you had a good time making love. He wants to make sure you experienced pleasure, and he was a part of that. He wants to continue to learn about you sexually because he enjoys sex with you and hopes to please you in the future. If he feels comfortable asking this question, it’s a great sign.
He enjoys making love to you if he wants to go again. This is a sign that he’s in the mood for lovemaking.
Men that just want to have sex don’t want to spend the time it takes in between rounds to connect with a woman. If the pillow talk is electric and leads to more sexual interaction, he enjoys making love to you.
29. Says the word love
He says he loves having sex with you. When a guy says, he wants you sexually and uses the word love to describe a feeling or experience he has with you. He is not-so-subtly telling you, “We are making love, not just having sex.”
30. Makes plans
He makes plans to connect again. He wants to know that he will see you again, that you two will continue to make love and foster a deeper connection. Knowing that he is already anticipating the next time he can make love to you shows a strong connection. Making plans is one of the signs he is making love to you.
What are the signs he enjoys making love to you? Pay attention to the details around lovemaking. Think about what happens before, during, and after sex to decipher if your man enjoys making love with you. So, sex vs. lovemaking?
Not all sex is lovemaking, but with these signals, you’ll be able to spot the difference.
Your man doesn’t have to do all of these things to show he enjoys making love, but a combination is key. If you notice your man has the habit of performing around 20 of the signs, then you know for sure he enjoys making love with you.
If he shows all 30, then you for sure have a man who can’t get enough lovemaking from you. What are the signs he enjoys making love to you? How many signs does your lover make?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.