Gone are the days when sex was considered the legitimate right of married couples only. The subject itself remained a hush-hush affair for quite some time.
Sexual fetishes and fantasies rarely entered the bedroom, and if they did, the couples took care not to wash their dirty linen in public.
But, subjects like Literature and Art denied societal restraints, allowing the patrons to express their ideologies through the work of Art, as early as 15th – the 16th century.
In Shakespeare’s play, ‘Much Ado About Nothing,’ terms like cuckolding and horns made their presence felt, wiping out our belief that the concept of exploring sex differently is a fetish of modern men.
‘There will the Devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head.’
Fetishism and pornography dominated the literary world of the 19th century too
Robert Browning’s Porphyria’s Lover, Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray, Stanisla de Rhodes’s Autobiography of a Flea, and Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis are few noteworthy works of art that explored The Role of Fetishism in 19th Century Literature.
If envisioning and implementing sexual fantasies with your partner behind closed doors sounds distasteful to you, then you need to read the mentioned literary pieces.
In fact, attempting BDSM, flagellation or cuckolding with your spouse can reignite the fire of romance between you two. And who knows, you can relive your honeymoon days once again!
More than one person can vouch for this belief
Example – Dr. Justin Lehmiller detailed out the nature of human sexuality in his book, ‘Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life’. He is a leading expert on human sexuality at the Kinsey Institute.
“I think what’s going on here is that our psychological needs change as we age and, as they do, our sexual fantasies evolve in ways that are designed to meet those needs. So, for example, when we’re younger and perhaps more insecure, our fantasies focus more on making us feel validated; by contrast, when we’re older and have settled into a long-term relationship, our fantasies focus more on breaking sexual routines and fulfilling unmet needs for novelty.” – Dr. Lehmiller
And there are few other experts like David Ley, Justin Lehmiller, and the writer Dan Savage, who consider cuckolding fantasy generate a positive experience for the couples rather than a shame-filled guilt trip.
Yet the term ‘cuckolding’ can give a reason of doubt to the partakers.
What is cuckolding?
Wikipedia defines the term cuckold as ‘the husband of the adulterous wife.’ ‘In fetish usage, a cuckold or wife watching is complicit in his (or her) partner’s sexual “infidelity”; the wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is called a cuckoldress if the man is more submissive.”
Watching your partner getting intimate with another person can be a key to enhancing your sex drive. There is hardly any fault in such a practice when porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month.
And yes! Cuckolding does offer perks and incentives too:
1. Cuckolding is educational indeed!
Practice cuckold and you are likely to get enlightened with many new positions to try in bed with your spouse next time.
And enjoying the touch of another person outside your marriage can be quite a sex stimulator.
2. Cuckolding marriages prevent partners from finding pleasure elsewhere
It is all about adding a little variety to your sex life and a chance to witness unscripted porn.
The inability of a person to express sexual impulses leads to sexual repression. And this is the reason why partners take refuge in infidelity and substance abuse.
But, who wishes to find pleasure elsewhere if variety is served on your plate at home? And if mutual consent is there, sexual abusement in marriages can take a back burner.
3. Improved communication leads to better expression of desires
Cuckolding marriages can thrive irrespective of the prejudices attached with the concept.
Communication between partners just gets better when practicing sexual fetishes like cuckolding takes place within the boundaries of a healthy relationship.
Dr Watsa stated that “Couples must learn to communicate their feelings to their partners rather than gratify themselves elsewhere through unsafe practices like having one night stands with strangers.”
Exploring sexual fantasies together can, in fact, heighten your love for your partner and spares no room for infidelity.
Complex social factors usually feed into kinks and other forms of sexual fetishes
Now, you can hardly point out to a specific reason when it comes down to sexual fetishes. But, Dr. David Lay, the author of the book, ‘Insatiable Wives,’ has observed that the possibility of witnessing your partner with someone else leads to sexual jealousy.
Often, the resentful partner resorts to extreme actions to get even with the unfaithful one.
At other times, the betrayed partner feels a surge of sexual arousal at the thought of beholding the other half getting sexually abused in the hands of a few strangers.
The monogamous society condemns the practice of polygamy and adultery.
It is considered a taboo and this is one of the reasons that conceptualizes the sexual fantasies of men and women.
Not all is rosy, kinky, and positive about cuckold marriages
“Truth is Stranger than Fiction” – Mark Twain
The reality of watching or knowing that your spouse is indulging into sexual acts with someone else either in your presence or absence is very different from the fantasy.
Cuckolding marriages can only survive if trust and honesty reign large in the relationship. Outcomes can be amazing and rewarding for such couples.
But, few others are likely to suffer indefinite pain if matters go out of hand.
Open-mindedness is the critical element working silently behind a healthy cuckold marriage.
Contrary to it, the pain surrounding such marriages can be nerve-wracking and damaging.
So, is your marriage ready for cuckolding?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.