25 Signs You Were Never in Love

At times, a relationship may feel like it is the right choice for you, but then the romance and love starts to fizzle. Perhaps it was never even there, and you were feeling something else instead. Here’s a look at 25 signs you were never in love. 

This may provide you with more information on your current relationship or past ones.

How do you know if you were never in love?

When you are in love, this is something that doesn’t easily go away. You may feel like the person you are with is the one you are supposed to be with forever, and you look forward to seeing them each day. 

You may also want to do things with them, hear what they have to say, and engage in an intimate relationship with them. If these things start to fade and you don’t have these feelings anymore, this may mean that you were never in love.

Moreover, if you were never in love, you may have an inkling that you aren’t. If something just never felt right, this is one of the strongest signs you were never in love. 

Don’t ignore that feeling if it is something that you have experienced. When you are having to try too hard to make it work, and it still isn’t, it may not be meant to be.

25 signs you were never in love

Any relationship can have its ups and downs, but when you feel like there’s no point in making up or putting in the effort, this is likely because you never were in love.

Here’s a look at 25 signs you were never in love.

• You don’t feel like making it work

Once you start to notice that you really don’t feel like giving your relationship a chance, this may be a good indication that you were never in love. You should feel like making the relationship work if you love and care about someone. It is necessary to maintain relationships of all types if you want to make them work.

According to Dionne Eleanor, a relationship & empowerment mentor:

Generally, love makes you want to show up, even when it’s difficult. If you don’t feel the desire to try, it’s time to question if your heart was ever truly invested.

• You argue a lot

If you find yourself arguing with your partner nearly every time you see them, this may tell you that we were never in love. While most couples will have arguments at times, this isn’t the only type of communication that should be taking place. 

Additionally, when you aren’t able to agree on anything, you may not be compatible anymore.

As Dionne Eleanor explains:

Sometimes, frequent arguing isn’t a sign of passion—it’s often a sign that you’re trying to make something work that isn’t aligned with your true desires.

• You aren’t making up after arguments

After you argue with each other, do you make peace? If you do not, this probably means that you don’t really care enough to settle an argument. 

You should know that anytime you do want to learn how to settle arguments or communicate better, you can speak to a counselor for advice. They should be able to teach you techniques that will help you communicate with your significant other more effectively.

• You don’t talk to each other

You may not be talking to each other at all besides arguing, and this is something that should make you stop and think. If you are unable to talk to your mate at all, you possibly were never in love with your spouse. 

It is beneficial to learn about your partner, so you can talk about your interests, your past, and what is going on in your life. When you are unable to chat about these things, there is likely little care left in the relationship.

Related Reading: What Are the Effects of Lack of Communication in a Relationship

• You have no interest in what they say anyway

Even if your partner talks to you, this may be of little importance to you. When you don’t feel like you care at all about what your significant other is saying, this should probably tell you that you are not in love with them anymore.

• You feel like you are missing something

When you feel like you are missing something in your relationship and this feeling doesn’t go away, you may want to pay attention. It might be that your mind is telling you I never was in love and that you might want to move on.

Related Reading: What Happens When There Is Lack of Attention in Relationship?

• The attraction just isn’t there

You may remember a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. That time might be long gone, but if you don’t even feel like you want to touch your partner, this is when you may also think, ‘Was I really in love?’

Related Reading: The Power of Touch in Your Marriage

• You don’t want to commit

When you think about your long-term goals, you may not see your partner in them. This may indicate that you don’t want to commit to them, which also means you are unsure of a future with them.

• You aren’t worried about what they’re doing

Have you noticed that you don’t care about what your significant other is doing? If you never find yourself concerned about where they are, what they are doing, and if they are safe, this is one of many obvious signs you were never in love.

•  You don’t feel the need to fill them in

Besides not caring about what they are doing, you may also think that you don’t need to fill them in on your activities. Perhaps you are making decisions without them and not involving them in the process at all. 

For example, you may be making dinners just for you, not asking them what they want to eat, not cooking for them, or making changes to the household that they didn’t agree to. Generally speaking, when you are a couple, it’s helpful to make decisions together, so everyone gets some input. 

You are likely no longer in love with your partner if you don’t include or consider them when you are making decisions.

• They get on your nerves

Everyone has quirks, and some of them may be off-putting. However, when your mate gets on your nerves all the time or starts to annoy you, where you are unable to get over it, you may need to rethink your relationship. 

You might find it hard to recall a redeeming quality in your partner. When this is the case, there probably isn’t much you can do to remedy the problem.

Dionne Eleanor further shares:

When every little thing your partner does starts to irritate you, it’s often a sign that the connection has shifted from love to tolerance. Love sees through the flaws; annoyance magnifies them.

• You’d rather do your own thing

Would you rather make your own plans without your partner tagging along? This may mean that you weren’t in love with them in the first place. When you feel like you’d rather do things without them, this doesn’t bode well for your partnership.

•  You aren’t intimate with each other

If you are not intimate with each other anymore or there is no chemistry, this is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Once you are no longer able to be intimate with each other and you don’t see that changing, there may not be much you can do to repair the relationship.

•  You feel like they are your friend more than your lover

Perhaps you feel like your spouse is more like an old friend than a lover. You might consider them to be more like your bud than a romantic partner. This could also make you think, ‘I never was in love.’ You just thought you were

•  You like someone else

You might find your mind wondering about other people. For instance, are you checking out exes on your social media accounts? 

This is one of the major signs you were never in love. If you were in love, it would be difficult to think of other people in a romantic way.

•  You don’t get feelings around them anymore

Did your partner use to give you butterflies when they would walk into the room? If those are gone, and you feel like they may never come back, this might not have been the love that you were feeling. You could have just liked your mate, and the feelings have since disappeared.

Related Reading: What To Do When You’re Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband

•  You feel like the relationship could end today

You may sometimes feel like your relationship could be over today, and this wouldn’t bother you. This is something to be concerned about if you feel this way since you will need to determine what you want to do next and if you want to end your current relationship.

•  You don’t see yourself as a team

When you think of you and your significant other, do you consider yourself a team or two individuals? If you see yourself as two separate people, this is one of the signs you were never in love.

•  You don’t care about meeting their parents

If you have no interest in meeting or having a relationship with your mate’s parents, siblings, or friends, you probably haven’t invested yourself in your relationship. 

On the other hand, maybe you have, and you are not interested in keeping up with it any longer.

• You have anxiety around them

If you have anxiety around your mate and don’t feel much else towards them, this is something that might send you a clear message. You may be feeling anxious because you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore or because you feel like you were never in love with me.

Also Try: Do I Have Relationship Anxiety Quiz

• You never spend time with one another

Do you spend time with your spouse? When you don’t, this is something that can be harmful for your relationship. You will be unable to grow your bond if you are avoiding each other’s company. Also, it will be more like you are living two separate lives since you aren’t doing activities together.

•  Neither of you is growing

In many relationships, one person will help the other person to grow, or they may both support each other to become better people. 

This is the case when you are furthering your education, building the corporate ladder, or once you are starting a family with one another.

•  You compare them to other people you’ve dated

You might find yourself comparing your current mate to others in the past. This is something that can be problematic because one person may never measure up to someone else. Moreover, it might not be fair to your partner if you expect them to be like someone you have been with in the past.

Related Reading: 10 Reasons You Should Never Compare Relationships or Your Partner

•  You complain about them to other people

Once you are experiencing issues in your life, it is okay to ask your friends and family for advice. However, if you are just bashing your mate or complaining about them to everyone you know, this is one of the signs you were never in love that you should take note of.

•  You make plans without them

Making plans without your significant other is something that may clue you into the fact that you aren’t in love with them. If you are going on vacation or planning things without their input, you may want to consider if you want to be in the relationship at all.

To see additional signs that you were never in love, watch this video: 

Conclusion

Never being in love and not being in love anymore are two different things. 

Dionne Eleanor highlights that:

Recognizing you were never in love is a gift, not a failure. It frees you to find the deeper, more fulfilling connection that you deserve.

If you have never experienced love with a partner, you may not have committed to them or had serious feelings for them. However, if you are not in love anymore, the feelings you used to feel might be gone, and you could also be lacking chemistry and a real connection.

When you read these signs, you were never in love above. If they remind you of your relationship, you should consider all of the options available to you. Think about talking to your mate, if possible, to determine together if you want to go your separate ways.

On the flip side, if you would like to try to make it work, you can see a therapist together to work out your differences. A counselor might also help you communicate better and work on your intimacy. 

The important thing is that you decide as soon as you can. If your relationship is making you unhappy or you want to date someone else, decide what you want to do next.

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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