Partnerships aren’t cut and dry with a consistent romantic connection on both sides at all times. To achieve this, each person needs to maintain that commitment, put in the effort and genuine hard work, and give the union sufficient time.
Ideally, you will try to recognize the signs that you’re not in love anymore early to present the situation to your partner in as straightforward a way as possible, albeit compassionately.
10 signs that you’re not in love anymore
In all honesty, mates can love each other and fall out of love with their partner often while in a long-term commitment. Everyone experiences ups and downs. Merely loving a person is not enough to sustain the couplehood.
Nurturing the partnership involves so many other “ingredients,” including communication, time, energy, undivided attention, and maintaining that sense of commitment. Once these things begin to fall away, it’s a sign that you’re not in love anymore.
While that can happen periodically during a partnership, one person can reach their end at some point. Let’s look at some signs this might be happening for you.
Confirming you’re no longer in love would be having little interest when your significant other makes attempts to talk with you and you, in turn, block them out as they’re expressing how they feel. While you may have the respect to respond to direct questions, there’s little else offered.
The foundation for a healthy union is communication. If you lack this component and have no wish to repair this aspect of the partnership, it’s a clear sign you’re not in love anymore.
2. Avoidance or excuses combined with dread
You begin to wonder, “am I not in love anymore” when excitement to spend time with your mate turns to dread. There used to be anticipation, initiation of plans, anxious conversations, calls to hang out merely, and an interest in what they were up to each day. Now there’s avoidance and excuses for why you can’t hang out.
In all likelihood, you’ll realize that you’re beginning to make other things a priority over your partner. Ignoring texts or silencing phone calls are also signs you’re not in love, and send that clear message to your mate.
3. Becoming a complainer or being critical is something new
It can seem as though everything your partner does at this point irritates you. The mate can do nothing right. You find that you’re complaining all the time, which is something new for you but has been happening for some time.
Generally, you’re a laid-back, accessible person. Instead of continuing to be hard on your significant other, it’s essential to take a step back and look at yourself to determine “why am I not in love” because that’s basically what this behavior should be saying to you.
It’s your way of validating your feelings. Your mate might genuinely not be doing anything wrong. You’re merely looking for things to find fault with so you can confirm for yourself why everything you once found endearing is now a source of annoyance.
Infatuation is not genuinely love but has the potential for enduring a long-term, making people mistake it for love. The problem is that emotion is not sustainable in the same way that genuine love can be.
If you imply similar interests, goals, lifestyles values to develop the relationship, the charade doesn’t have the possibility of growing into something stable, meaning the feelings will ultimately fade.
You might have been in love with the notion of loving that person rather than indeed ever falling in love with the mate. That will be difficult for your partner to hear and needs handling delicately.
5. When you feel there’s a need for a break
Generally, when one person finds a need for a break away from the other person to have some “space” or to gain some time to “think about things,” one of those questions you’ll likely be considering is how to know if you’re not in love anymore.
Ultimately, taking this time apart is merely your way of gradually breaking away from the other person without officially calling it a break-up. Once there’s “space,” you’ll invariably find reasons why you can’t see the other person again, leading to the end.
6. Making a ton of new friends
If you’re finding fulfillment with a new social circle outside of the relationship, that can signify that you’re not in love anymore. When your mate is not providing the entertainment you desire.
You can undoubtedly have friends apart from your mate, but when you don’t find stimulation from a partner, instead looking for that attention, that “click,” or emotional validation elsewhere, you’ll know if you’re not in love anymore.
If you find that you’re no longer attracted to your mate, with intimacy at every level being the last thing on your mind, you’re indicating you’re not into your partner anymore.
When you no longer touch your mate, whether it be a simple hug, a hand on their back, find sex to be a dreaded chore, or flinch when your mate reaches to touch you, these are signs you’re not in love anymore.
8. Independence has become an important concept again
You might be noticing that you’re becoming more independent again. Where you were incorporating your partner more into the various aspects of your daily life, now you’re beginning the elimination process to show yourself that you don’t need another person to handle life.
When you’re in love, a mate’s guidance and advice are valuable. Even if you know you can handle whatever is thrown at you, support is essential and appreciated. Now those things are viewed as interference.
In times past, you would perk up when your partner wanted to talk about the possibility of perhaps living together or a more profound commitment. Now, this lends itself to feelings of stress and pressure.
10. You recognize the signs you’re not in love anymore
Your instincts might just be telling you that you’re not in love anymore. It’s essential to pay attention to your intuition. Before having the conversation with your mate, put considerable thought into whether there’s any possibility for working things through or perhaps there’s a future with them.
When you can honestly admit to yourself that you no longer love the individual, listen to the voice. Avoid the notion of overthinking the issues and communicate your feelings.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.