18 Absolute Signs His Love is Not Real

When anyone falls in love, it is their utmost desire that the feeling would be mutual and strong and that the relationship would make both parties better in the long run. However, not all relationships play out this way. 

Some people get to discover that their partner does not love them as they claim.

In this article, you will know the signs his love is not real. Knowing these signs will help you decide on going ahead with the relationship or not.

What does true love feel like?

It is important to note that true love comes with stability and security. This means that when you are in love with the person, you are not bothered that they can leave or end the relationship at any time. You are confident that your partner wants the best for you and vice-versa.

In a research study by Brian Earp and other authors, they explain the full concept in their study titled The Ordinary Concept of True Love. You will learn what love means between two people

How do you know his love is not real?

Many people try to know whether a man’s love is real or not. The basic point to note when it comes to this is that you will know if a man loves you from how he makes you feel. 

For example, if he makes you feel valued and happy with yourself, it is one of the signs that he loves you. Additionally, if he doesn’t hesitate to tell people how awesome you are, he might be truly in love with you.

To know if a man doesn’t love you, check out Krystle Laughter’s book titled He Doesn’t Love You If. This book shows you signs that he is not serious about you. 

18 clear signs his love is not real?

When someone claims to love you, it is important to know how to identify if the love is real. Similarly, you might be in love with a guy, and he might not have the same feelings for you even though he acts like it. Here are some signs his love is not real.

1. He prefers a secret relationship

When his love is not real, he will always remind you of his preference for a secret relationship. He doesn’t want anyone to know he is in a relationship or in love because he is not proud of it. 

Therefore, he will often request that you don’t post anything related to your love life on your social media to prevent people from finding out.

2. He doesn’t prioritize you most times

One of the clear signs his love is not real is when he naturally doesn’t make you a priority. 

You will observe that he doesn’t consider your schedule, feelings, or other factors before himself. This means that he puts himself first because his love for you is probably not real.

Related Reading: Prioritize your Relationship, Partner, and Sexual Connection

3. He doesn’t inform you before making vital decisions

When love is real, you and your partner will carry each other along in critical decision-making. 

However, if you hear of his decisions after they’ve been made, then his love might not be real. He might have consulted other people in his life before deciding, and he didn’t remember to inform you.

4. You don’t know where you stand in his life

One of the ways to know fake love is when you are not sure of your place in his life. You will begin to feel that the two of you might not be together in the long term because the present signs do not suggest that.

According to Grady Shumway, a licensed mental health counselor:

If you’re unsure of your place in his life and feel uncertain about the future of your relationship, it may indicate that the love you’re experiencing isn’t genuine. A lack of effort to nurture the relationship and build a future together often signals that the commitment may not be strong or sincere.

Additionally, he doesn’t make any effort to make the relationship worth looking forward to as you progress.

Related Reading: 21 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong, Healthy, and Happy

5. He always claims to be busy

When a guy is always telling you that his schedule is tight and he keeps bringing up excuses, it is one of the signs his love is not real. He probably doesn’t want to spend time with you, so he will keep giving excuses. 

However, you will also notice that he is unwilling to make sacrifices despite his busy schedule.

Watch this video on how to handle a relationship with a busy man: 

6. He doesn’t like discussing the future

If you are looking out for signs his love is not real, you will observe that he is reluctant to discuss the future with you. Anytime you bring up issues related to the future, he will find a way to stray or postpone the discussion. 

However, he will always tell you there is still time to plan for the future.

7. He doesn’t value your opinions

When a man doesn’t respect your input and opinions, it is one of the signs his love is not real. 

He might pretend to listen to you, but eventually, he will not take anything you’ve said to mind. If the two of you conclude on something, he will do something that suits him without considering you.

Related Reading: 6 Ways to Appreciate and Value Your Spouse

8. He doesn’t listen properly during conversations

If you want to know the signs his love is not real, watch how he behaves during your conversations. You will observe that he doesn’t remember the important details of each discussion. Hence, he will end up asking you several times. 

The reason is that he is probably not interested in what you have to say, but he doesn’t want you to notice.

9. He becomes affectionate when he needs something

It might be painful to realize that your man only pretends to love you when he wants to get something from you. However, when he keeps doing this, it is one of the signs his love is not real. 

After getting what he needs, he becomes physically or emotionally distant till the next time he wants something from you.

10. Your loved ones don’t support the relationship

Sometimes, when we’re in love, we might not see some of the negative traits of our partners. However, your family and friends will likely notice some of these attributes.

When you observe that they don’t approve of the relationship, it might be they’ve noticed the signs a guy is pretending to love you. Initially, you might think they don’t have good intentions, but in the long run, you will discover they were right.

11. He doesn’t want you to meet his loved ones

Most times, one of the signs his love is real is when he wants you to meet his family and friends. However, if he keeps making excuses for you not to meet them, it might be that he doesn’t love you. 

Additionally, he might keep mentioning that he wants his relationship to be private, so he doesn’t want anyone to know.

12. He keeps things from you

Have you discovered that your man keeps many things from you, and you only get to discover them by chance?

As Grady Shumway further explains:

If you frequently find yourself discovering things about your partner by chance and he keeps details and secrets from you, it might indicate that his love isn’t genuine. A lack of transparency and openness can be a sign that he doesn’t fully value or invest in the relationship.

It might be that his love is not real, so he doesn’t see the need to keep you in the loop. You will discover that he keeps everything from you, from small details to bigger secrets.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Spouse Is Hiding Something From You

13. He loves to blame you

One of the strong signs his love is not real is when he prefers to fault you instead of taking part in the blame. 

If he is at fault, he will find a way to blame you because he doesn’t want to take responsibility. This means that he is likely to gaslight you at any opportunity.

14. He doesn’t want the both of you to grow together

If a man is in love with you, he will be passionate about your growth in different aspects of life. He will look forward to correcting you when you make mistakes so that you can learn and become a better person. 

If a man’s love is not real, he will be less concerned about your growth.

Related Reading: 10 Opportunities for Relationship Growth

15. He doesn’t remember your special events

When a man keeps forgetting special occasions, it is one of the signs he’s faking the relationship. Even though he claims to be busy, it is quite impossible to forget the events of your loved ones. 

If you notice that he keeps apologizing for his forgetfulness, but it keeps happening again, it is one of the signs a guy is pretending to love you.

16. He doesn’t post about your relationship or you on social media

One of the signs to know when love is not true is when he doesn’t post you or talk about his relationship on his social media accounts. We live in a social media age where people celebrate their partners and relationships online. 

Even though he claims to be a private person, he will post your pictures or talk about you on his social media from time to time.

17. He doesn’t initiate conversations

Another way to know the signs his love is real or not is when it comes to initiating conversations. If he truly loves you, he will always want to bring up discussions because he loves hearing your voice. However, if his love is fake, he will barely initiate conversations.

18. He cheats

When a man cheats on his partner, his love might not be real. He may give different excuses for his inactions, but if he keeps doing it without his partner’s knowledge, then his love is a façade. 

On the other hand, a man who cares and loves his partner would not do anything to hurt them.

Greg Behrendt’s book titled He’s just not that into you, contains some truths into understanding guys. You will learn how guys behave when they don’t love you. 

Takeaway

After reading through this article on the signs his love is not real, you now know how to tell when a man’s intentions are genuine or not. If you need more insights on how to work around situations like this, you can contact a relationship counselor for help.