How Important is Sex in a Long-term Relationship

Once a long-term relationship becomes established, over a year, romance is still, of course, a primary component in keeping a spark and excitement between the partners, 

For those who wonder how important is sex in a long-term relationship, it depends on the individuals involved and how the partnership functions.

A couple can have what most would consider the ideal amount of passion and consistency in the bedroom. Still, when it comes to the grand scheme of what makes a fulfilling union, intercourse deems perhaps roughly 25% overall for what brings the couple satisfaction. 

Intimacy plays a role, but there are differences between affection and intimacy from mere intercourse.

How important is sex in a long-term relationship

 For many individuals, particularly those in long-term partnerships, healthy sex life is crucial for many reasons aside from helping to deepen an always-evolving bond. It’s the ideal way for many mates to express their heartfelt love that words often can’t convey.

The intimacy can help to build a level of trust between two people and contribute to their becoming more vulnerable, open, and communicative with each other. Plus, help learn more about yourselves as individuals expanding on personal confidence.

That isn’t saying there’s a magic consistency that needs maintaining. That should come naturally based on you as a couple. 

If there’s a discrepancy with one feeling a greater sense of desire than the other, communication is imperative to learn how all needs can be met.

Also Try: Quiz To Find Out The Importance Of Sex And Intimacy

How does sex bring partners closer together

A long-term sexual relationship is much more meaningful than the sex that drew you together in the beginning. At first, there’s more lust, gregarious passion since it’s new and fresh. 

As things evolve, it’s more of a desire to explore, learn the other person, bond, and share the deepest part of who you are. You’re becoming committed and growing to appreciate each other with intense satisfaction from the sexual experiences. 

As time goes, that intimacy becomes enhanced. It might grow and change, but it deepens. 

How to rekindle sexual desire in a long-term relationship

Honestly, the secret to desire in a long-term relationship is to ensure that each person is equally satisfied. If one or the other has an issue with what’s happening (or not happening), an open line of communication will help show that needs are not being met.

In most relationships, the partners share differing views on sexual desire. The key is to come to that happy medium to ensure a healthy partnership, perhaps making the bedroom more enticing. 

That can include bringing in some massage oils after a long day, candles for romantic lighting when talking while simply holding each other, maybe a record player to listen to some old music – because who doesn’t like to reminisce while enjoying wine or even spiced cider. 

Intimacy and romance are essential and can lead to great sex, which isn’t always about intercourse. There are a few ways to enjoy long-term relationship sex.

Related Reading: 30+ Best Sex Tips for Women That Drive Men Crazy

How often couples have sex

The consistency of sex in a long-term relationship is less important than the quality. It will also depend on the couple and the type of partnership they enjoy. Here’s how much sex is normal in a long-term relationship. 

10 sex tips to rekindle the spark in a long-term relationship

Not all partners in a couplehood experience the same libido. While one might have a heightened desire, the other might not, creating a genuine problem in the relationship that needs working through. In searching for a compromise, look through some of these tips that might help rekindle that spark.

1. It doesn’t have to be about intercourse

Physical intimacy can encompass many things aside from mere intercourse for those who might have challenges with varying libidos. You can take the pressure off by removing intercourse from the table altogether. 

Try setting different boundaries around maybe taking a relaxing bath together or indulging in other sensual activities; it could ultimately lead to more physical satisfaction than you had imagined.

Related Reading: 8 Hot Tips for Couples to Have Incredibly Romantic Sex

2. The mood is everything

In order to improve sex in a long-term relationship, there needs to be a transition from the daily grind, typically stressful and chaotic, to a point where you’re relaxed and feeling intimate. 

You can achieve that in a few ways by either enjoying a drink after work or taking a stroll when dinner is through. In both situations, there’s an opportunity to have an easy, mood-enhancing conversation.

3. Foreplay isn’t what it was in the beginning

The honeymoon phase might be over, but that merely means that you need to work a bit harder on your sex moves for a long-term relationship. You or your mate can begin as soon as one of you returns from your day (whoever gets in first). 

The conversation can start, and dinner can be set around the table (even takeout) with candles. For a head start, you could exchange intimate texts or even sneak in a call before heading home. 

A priority for long-term mates is making sure always to compliment each other and be playful, so there’s no real “trying” or a need for sex “ideas” for long-term relationships. You already flirt and romance each other daily.

Related Reading: 30 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life

4. Pick a night without technology

Some people might find switching off of technology, not such a challenge, but this can be almost debilitating for others. Choose one day each week that you both disconnect from all electronics, including the TV, until the following day. 

That isn’t an indication in itself that sex will culminate, but it’s a night for only the two of you to spend as you wish with no interferences from other people in any way or distraction from screens.

5. Take your time

When it’s time to say goodbye in the morning and welcome home in the evening, take time in doing so, lingering for a few seconds for either a longer kiss, maybe looking into your mate’s eyes, brushing your hand through their hair, stroking their back. 

These are mere opportunities to connect and be present with your partner, establishing that deep bond that comes with a long-term relationship. 

It helps you realize how important is sex in a long-term relationship and intimacy.

Related Reading: When Is the Best Time to Have Sex and Its 15 Benefits

6. Be vulnerable with your needs

While many people are relatively quick at letting a mate know what they’re not particularly fond of in the bedroom, most are not forthcoming with what they do prefer, expecting that their partner will somehow simply know.

Part of the fun with sex and long-term relationships is experimenting and exploring what exactly works and what doesn’t. That only works if you’re honest.

7. Self-care is critical

Self-care and wellness are vital if you expect to have a healthy sex life. If you don’t nurture and feel good about who you are, confident in your skin with well-developed self-esteem, you won’t be able to engage with your partner. 

Make sure to put your well-being as a priority on your schedule for optimum vitality.

Also Try: Self-love Language Quiz

8. Shop for toys and props

When you want to add some spice in the bedroom, shop for a few toys or props to bring in, try some role play. All couples, or individual mates, have fantasies they would love to try out but aren’t bold enough to share these, whether a different position, perhaps an odd location, maybe a unique outfit. 

Live out your fantasies with your mate. With whom else can you be most vulnerable?

9. Be spontaneous

Take the pressure off each of you. It’s better not to always consumer yourself with consistency and how often you should be having sex. 

The idea is to simply enjoy each other’s company in romantic, affectionate, intimate ways, and ultimately sex will find its way into that equation. It might not be frequent, but the experiences could be worth the wait.

Related Reading: Why Sex Scheduling Is Not a Dirty Word

10. Don’t compare yourselves

It’s not wise to talk with other people about your sex life. It can hinder yours. Other people might “claim” to have fantastic escapades in the bedroom multiple times during the week, but that might merely be their “fantasy.” Find out from this study what the actual statistics are with couples having sex.

No one should discuss these intimate moments. It’s almost a betrayal of your partner’s vulnerability. Plus, your discouragement will affect the sex and relationship.  

15 sex rules to consider in long-term relationships

Here are a few rules or “suggestions” that long-term couples should try to live by to keep the romance and intimacy alive.

1. Non-sexual attention

For those wondering how important is sex in a long-term relationship, you should consider concentrating your attention on non-erogenous zones when engaging with your mate. 

Often partners find this more erotic than sex. Plus, touching should be a standard part of your interaction regularly each day.

2. Don’t stick to a routine or become regimented

If you have a routine night that you typically have sex that can become monotonous involving little passion, and ultimately one or both of you might lose the desire. 

Instead, go with when the urge strikes, help it along with mood-setting or wake your mate with a surprise in the morning. 

Related Reading: Why Intimacy in Marriage Goes for a Toss?

3. Everyone should make the moves

There shouldn’t be one person in a partnership initiating everything. That includes compliments, touching, kissing, and sexual activities. Each person needs to put in the effort with all intimacy. Everybody needs to understand that their mate finds them alluring. That in itself is a turn-on.

4. Pajamas become the staple in a long-term relationship

If you find yourselves wondering how important is sex in a long-term relationship, this means something might be off. Over time, you might become comfortable and familiar with even how you dress to go to bed, not realizing what you’re wearing is less than appealing. 

Every so often, even once or twice a month, dress to impress when heading off to slumber. Something unexpected and sexy will grab attention and maybe stir arousal. 

Also Try: Is He Serious About Me Quiz

5. Take some space apart

In the honeymoon phase, there was an anxiousness to see each other because it was a novelty. There was a mysterious air about the other person, and there was a sense of anxiety about whether you would be favorable in their eyes. 

That, of course, fades. Still, if you spend more time apart, you might grab some of the mystery back with curiosity over your partner’s life when they’re not with you and vice versa. It could reinvigorate some of those old feelings.

6. Libido will ebb and flow

Don’t beat yourself up if your desire is not always spot on. You might be at a low point when your mate is feeling superior. These moments happen throughout the course of life. It’s time you need to communicate what’s happening as a couple and work through the period. 

Your partner will likely have their highs and lows as well; it’s natural. The idea is to find a way where everyone can feel satisfied, and needs are met.

Also Try: Is My Sex Drive Normal Quiz

7. Put sex on the schedule

It might seem the opposite of what we’ve been recommending to this point, and it may not appear as a sensual remedy, but when you think about how important is sex in a long-term relationship, this can make sense. 

Suppose you see the symbol on your smartphone calendar for a specific date. In that case, you can become excited about what the evening will entail. 

You can build up the anticipation with suggestions for the evening using a “menu,” if you will, where you text ahead with little messages to entice. It can work.

8. Sexting isn’t lost on the young

You might believe that sexting is something only young people new to the meeting do, but it’s not lost on that audience. You don’t merely have to text to let your partner know what time you’ll be home. 

Surprise the mate with a tease or some kink that might shock them. A day of this can lead to a fun-filled evening.

Check out these sexting tips that are sure to take your relationship fire a notch higher:

9. Don’t ruin the mood by having to move to the bedroom

Wherever you’re enjoying an erotic moment, feeling incredibly sexy with desire welling might not be in the bedroom. Don’t ruin the moment. Take it. 

Your partner might be cleaning dishes, and you may have come in from gardening, but you have that urge. It doesn’t have to be perfect or calculated. Spontaneity is awesome.

Related Reading: How to Deal With Mood Swings in a Relationship

10. Anger can fuel the desire for sex

The brain component responsible for alerting anger is also the part that will trigger sex. That’s one of the reasons that angry sex is so fulfilling even if the argument is not resolved. 

Plus, many people tend to concentrate on their own personal needs when angry, so it’s that much more enjoyable for each person.

11. Monthly relationship status check

Set aside time every month to sit down and communicate your feelings on the relationship and include how your needs are being met sexually. 

Relay any problems or challenges that you feel need working through and discuss these to attempt to find solutions immediately instead of waiting for an unforeseen time. 

It’s a healthy approach to keeping the partnership firm and moving forward. This is the chance to bring up those sexual fantasies.

Also Try: What’s Your Relationship Status?

12. Consistent complaining can be detrimental

No one is going to do everything that makes you happy every moment of every day. There will be an occasional towel on the floor or jars left open in the cupboard. 

Complaining every time you find a problem can wear on the other person and diminish the romance in the partnership and perhaps self-confidence they’re holding onto. Pick battles carefully and others; let them go by simply handling it and moving on.

13. The mirror game

This is new, right? 

A profound component of any relationship is establishing optimum trust. Most people believe they can take their partner for their word, which should translate into how they guide you when you’re engaging in sexual activity.

Either partner can be the “leader” demonstrating varied movements meant to turn you on, and the mate mimics these moves on themself like in a “mirror.” 

No one can touch while demonstrations and copying are taking place. It is an incredible learning experience for each person, even in a long-term partnership.

After each person has a turn as the leader, move in sync with what you’ve learned and then play those movements out with your partner.

Also Try: Is He Playing Games With Me Quiz

14. Let go of the quickie for a short period

Over time, the notion of how important is sex in a long-term relationship begins to fade and become forgotten, with partners fitting in a quickie before heading off to the next activity. 

Mates need to ban quickies from their plan for roughly a month so they can remember what exploring the other person was about, how it felt, and why it was so important. 

That connection, intimacy, romance, and the overall explosive experience answer the question is sex important in a relationship? You can’t establish an in-depth bond without that.

15. Participate in a sex workshop

Everyone can learn more. Knowledge is power, and that can translate into much more healthy sex life. 

There are varied options on the market to choose from where you can learn the ins and outs of bondage, take a workshop dedicated to kink, or set your sights on focusing on your inner sexuality. These are all meant to bring you closer and keep the flame flowing. 

Why does sex change in a long-term relationship

It would be odd if sex didn’t evolve in a long-term relationship since this is consistently growing and changing. 

For one thing, as age progresses, hormones begin to change (looking at it from a health aspect), which can significantly affect sexual response. 

Plus, people become familiar and comfortable through no fault of their own. It’s a natural progression that no one truly sees happening, but you realize that you’ve fallen into this pattern one day. 

The novelty, freshness, and mystery go and sort of try to take some of the excitement and passion with them. 

That’s why it’s so critical to put forth the concerted effort every day to keep these things alive so that you don’t lose the romance, intimacy, and sex – so crucial in retaining that connection you established as a long-term couple. 

Related Reading: Love, Sex and Intimacy – Change the Way You Feel by Changing the Way You Think 

Final thought

When first looking at a question like how important is sex in a long-term relationship, an initial response is automatically to say that’s not what it’s about. However, when taking the time to think about it, sex is genuinely the foundation from which a long-term relationship develops. 

It’s where a couple feels their most vulnerable, learns to explore and become connected to their mate, and develops trust and confidence in the partner like no other in their life. 

Not to mention self-confidence and emotional stability. It’s where the bond establishes. The more time passes, the more sexual experiences, and the deeper the bond becomes. Without sex, that wouldn’t happen.