How to Sext: The Beginners Guide

Sexting, when you feel confident that you know how to do it well, is a fun precursor to foreplay, to some people, it is the perfect form of foreplay.  If your blood runs cold at the thought of sexting though, remember this; it’s a fun way to stay connected with your partner in a way that builds up your sexual energy and keeping it bubbling over. 

Which means that don’t have to try to turn the temperature up from cold to hot whenever you want to dive under the duvet with your partner or spouse.

If you are shy, sexting could be an excellent solution to learning how to express yourself sexually from the safe distance of your phone.  

It’s a great way to build up trust and courage so that eventually you can bring some of your flavors into the bedroom with ease in the future.  And it brings in a sense of adventure and excitement not just to your relationship but also to your days.

Having a dreary day at work? – Sext your partner and see what we mean.  

To help you along, we’ve included some of the best tips on how to sext for beginners right here:

1. Think about when you send a sext

If you are learning how to sext, and you just happen to send your first sext at the wrong moment.  

For example; at the same time as your partner is in an important meeting, or spending some quality time with their grandparents’ chances are your text won’t be received or responded to as well as it would if it was sent afterwards, or even before.  

When you get started, think about the timing so that you don’t recoil in horror if they don’t respond as you thought they would because they were distracted by something else.

2. Don’t get too hot too soon

As with anything, it’s all about the build up.  Diving right in with an obvious sexual text discussing in graphic detail what you want to do to them might get some people hot under the collar but if you kept it toned down, it opens the floor for much more teasing and interaction.  

Saying something such as ‘I can’t help thinking how hot you looked last night’ will give the hint that the conversation is open to sexual connotations.

3. Push boundaries but don’t get out of your comfort zone

We all have places we visit frequently, and then places where we would visit although it would push our boundaries slightly, and then there are the no-go zones, the places that are just out of our comfort zone.  

The same applies when learning how to sext.  At first, stay in your comfort zone, and then as you grow in confidence, push the boundaries to the places where you are comfortable in exploring but never go to the ‘no-go zones.’  Otherwise, sexting might become too much for you, and that would spoil all of the fun!

4. Send out a warning when sending nudes

If you want to send your partner or spouse a nude picture, send them a warning first.  

You can do so by starting your text with capital letters and a statement saying ‘warning not safe for work’ or ‘open in private only.’  Then add some dots on the message to make your image show up only when the message is clicked.

This way when you are learning how to sext you won’t feel embarrassed if someone else accidentally sees precisely what you have to offer! 

5. Get artsy with your pictures

Ok, so sexting is not all about sending nudes, but there’s a good chance that you might.  So you may as well nail this issue from the offset. Camera angles are everything when you take a selfie, and even more so when you are taking nudes too.  

Think about what they might look at if they were there, where would their eyes go first and try to recapture that angle.  

Add filters to create an ambience too.  And then keep a stash locked away so that when you are sexting in the future that you already have some new pictures to send that, your partner has not yet seen. 

6. Learn the emoji sex code!

Sometimes emoji’s say things better than we can.  You can use them to set the tone of a message without even saying a word, to get you started here are some of the commonly used sexual emoji’s:

• Peach = Booty
• Eggplant = Penis
• Banana = Penis
• Cat = Vagina
• Emoji With Tongue Sticking Out = Desire
• Raindrops = Wetness/Ejaculation

7. Dirty talk for the win

Talking dirty is the crucial factor when it comes to sexting.  It’s the words you use that will conjure up the fantasy in your partner’s minds.  Here are some ways that you could introduce dirty talk:

• A comment about his or her body
• Talk about what sexual things you’d like to do to him or her
• Ask for nudes
• Describe how you feel when he or she is sexting you.
• Tell them your fantasies
• Create a fantasy game where you both build on a fantasy story via sexting.
• Tell your partner what you want them to do while they are reading your sexts.
• Describe what you are wearing.
• Ask questions