There is a saying that when you do not know which harbour you are aiming for, no wind is the right wind. This is especially true when you are sailing in the boat of marriage on the seas of life. It is essential to have some relationship goals so that you know in which direction to sail.
Here are a few thoughts, tips and questions on the topic of relationship goal setting.
Where do you start?
Perhaps you have been married awhile already and you’ve never really thought about specifically setting any relationship goals. Of course everyone has general unspoken goals such as “being happily married”, “providing for my family”, and “staying safe and healthy.” How about actually setting aside some time together to talk about specific ways that you can go forward in different areas of your relationship? The most common relationship goals may include ways to support and encourage one another, how to solve problems together, your finances, family goals and career goals.
What kinds of goals are best?
When it comes to relationship goals, examples which are most effective would be ones that can be measured and which have a definite timeline, such as having a date night once a week or once a month. Or it could be to help each other pursue that course of study which you always wanted to do to enhance your chosen career. Or maybe to start praying together each night before you go to bed. Or for Dad to take his teenage daughter on a breakfast date once a month. Another important thing about relationship goals is that each party should be on board and agree with the goals that are set.
How do you know if it’s working?
Once you have set your goals you need to have an evaluation time periodically, perhaps every six months or once a year, to see how you are doing. When a goal has been accomplished, make it a reason to celebrate! Be flexible if you need to re-adjust some of your goals, or set new ones as you set your sails and continue on your voyage of marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.