Have you ever asked yourself how important is sex in a relationship? or why sex is important in a relationship? Well, you are not the first and won’t be the last person to wonder about the importance of sex in marriage and relationships.
It’s safe to say that one of the most important and talked-about topics when one speaks about love is the importance of sex in a relationship. It seems that it is hard to underestimate the benefits of adequate sexual relations in both brief and long-term romances.
While we are aware of the relevance of sex for reproduction, sex is also important because, in a relationship, we need to express ourselves physically and emotionally, and we desire pleasure.
Say, for youthful appearance to burning off calories, the act of sex has many benefits associated with it that enhances our lives mentally and socially. However, it is also a source of a range of insecurities and possible hurdles in a relationship.
To better understand the importance of physical relationship and intimacy in a relationship, let’s look at some evident reasons for how important is sex to a healthy relationship.
1. The obvious connection
There are countless studies that associated satisfactory sexual life with happiness in a relationship. It is also a known fact that a satisfying sex life will increase happiness in a relationship. There are several reasons for this, some that are obvious, and some that are less apparent.
One interesting study tried to pinpoint the exact source of the association between marital and relationship satisfaction and sex life. The authors revealed that even one single sexual act created something that they named an “afterglow.”
This sexual afterglow, or an increased level of sexual satisfaction, could possibly account for the partners’ increased relationship satisfaction. The afterglow lasts for about two days after having sex. And, interestingly, it seems to predict the couples’ satisfaction 6 months later!
Of course, there is the other side of the story as well. Sexual desire usually diminishes over time. And since sex plays a vital role in the couples’ love life, it can become a source of frustration and disagreements.
The level of interest in sex may differ for the partners in a relationship. When this happens, it is the other aspects of the relationship and the partners’ interaction that will decide how their sexual relationship will evolve in the future.
2. The nuances of the importance of sex in a relationship
So, how important is sex?
A recent study by Debrot and colleagues revealed that sex contributes to a person’s well-being on several levels. Interestingly, when compared to one’s income, having sex once a week compared to having sex once a month had a greater positive effect than earning $75,000 compared to $25,000 a year.
These researchers attempted to find out how sex is associated with life satisfaction and positive emotions. The findings might explain why sex can be both a bond that holds a couple together and a source of frustration and dissatisfaction.
It looks like the source of the power of sex to increase or destroy marital satisfaction is affection! It is not sex itself that causes changes in life satisfaction, as it appears, but it is the warmth and care of its foundation.
In other words, even though sex brings physical and physiological pleasure, these are not the roots of its contribution to one’s well being.
Rather, as Debrot and colleagues concluded, sex promotes a more affectionate, positive, and stronger connection with one’s partner.
When you have sex with your partner, your positive emotions towards him or her are bolstered. And the more you’re having sex, the more such experiences you will have— these build-up towards a better and more fulfilling relationship.
3. Honesty, equality, and good vibrations to improve your sex life
Therefore, one could conclude that to allow sex to contribute to your overall well-being and satisfaction in a romantic relationship. You actually need to strengthen the relationship’s core.
That is, the positive effect and kindness should first be nurtured before sex can fulfill its function. Otherwise, unfortunately, both sexual life and the relationship might crumble and lose its shine.
So, what is it that you can do to strengthen your relationship andimprove your sex life(or maintain it)? As LaBier advises, there are three core aspects of any relationship that you should consider–
In specific, there is a need for radical transparency, sharing the stage in the couples’ shared life, and nurturing the state of positive emotions, and being comfortable with each other.
To have a good sex life, one that will endure the test of time, of familiarity, and of gradual diminishing of that initial infatuation, you need to start with being radically transparent with your spouse or a partner.
Without complete honesty about your inner desires, insecurities, and fears, it is hard to accomplish closeness in sex. You should also abandon your ego and the urge to get everything the way you want it to be in the relationship.
By practicing equality and mutuality, you will also learn to give instead of just take in sex.
Amy Color has defined practical solutions based on decades of research with proven results. She shares her recipes for physical and emotional intimacy that foster deep secure connections in a respectful and entertaining way.
Finally, you need to cherish your sexual energy and focus on your partner as the object of your desire and find a way to preserve the longing in the face of all other obligations and problems. It will pay out.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.