26 Eye-Opening Signs He Pretends to Love You

When we are in a relationship, we try our best to make it last a lifetime. In the end, we all seek love. The permanent kind of love. We all want our current relationship to be our “forever.”

One of the saddest realities of life is when you break up with the person you love, but did you know there is something worse than this?

It’s staying in a relationship where your partner only pretends to love you.

Can you imagine being in a relationship and you start to realize that your partner is showing signs he pretends to love you?

Why do people pretend to love?

People may pretend to love in relationships for various reasons, often out of fear or insecurity. Sometimes, they fear being alone or worry about hurting their partner’s feelings. 

It’s not always about intentionally deceiving; it’s more about trying to make things work, even when the feelings aren’t there. In such cases, open and honest communication is crucial to understand each other’s needs and feelings and, ultimately, to find a healthier path forward. 

In the end, it’s okay to be truthful about your emotions, as it paves the way for more genuine connections in the long run. But a lot of people don’t understand this.

How to know if he is pretending to love you?

Identifying if someone is pretending to love you can be challenging. It often involves observing their actions, communication, and consistency in their feelings. Keep an eye out for signs that might indicate their true emotions.

Wondering if he’s pretending to love you? Keep treading to the next section for a detailed answer that’ll help you navigate your feelings and relationship. You’re not alone in this, and it’s essential to address your concerns openly and honestly.

26 eye-opening signs he pretends to love you

There can be many signs to watch out for, and deep inside, you already have a gut feeling that the person you love may not feel the same way.

So, here are 20 eye-opening signs he’s faking his love for you. 

1. He doesn’t consider you as a priority

Do you find yourself making all the efforts to contact him, make plans to go on dates, and even ask him to spend time with you?

Does your boyfriend make excuses about his work, his busy lifestyle, and his plans for the future, and ask you to understand why he can’t make time for you?  

This only means that he has other priorities.

2. He wants a secret relationship

Does your boyfriend ask you to keep your relationship private? Does he ask you not to post anything about your relationship on social media? 

This may mean that your boyfriend might not be ready for a commitment or he is not yet sure about you. Worse, he is hiding something from you.

3. Too much PDA

Do you notice that your boyfriend only shows you his affection when you are in public? Does he change his attitude when you’re alone with him?

If he starts ignoring you when you are all alone and would only be sweet and affectionate when you’re in public, then this is one of the signs he pretends to love you.

4. You don’t know your place in his life

Do you have this gut feeling that you don’t even know your place in his life?

You start to feel that you don’t belong in any of his future plans. Your boyfriend doesn’t make any effort to value your opinion and feelings in your relationship.

5. He doesn’t think of you in his spare time

Do you find yourself waiting for your boyfriend to contact you? Do you always text or call him first?

Does your boyfriend often ask you to understand him whenever you ask him to communicate with you? If you have to wait for your turn because he’s too busy with other things, then it only means that you are not on his top priority list.

6. He doesn’t want to talk about your future together

Faking love in a relationship will gradually show. Does your boyfriend feel uncomfortable when you try to discuss topics about your future together? Does he try to avoid the subject or divert it?

Ultimately, he’ll try to avoid the subject or tell you not to plan ahead so you won’t get disappointed.

7. He respects you, and your opinion

A pretending love will not last because it doesn’t have the foundation of respect.

You will notice how he pretends to listen but fail to value your inputs and suggestions. You will also feel like you are not being respected in your relationship.

8. Physical intimacy is more important for him

If you are just pretending to love someone, it can show if you’re just focused on being physically intimate.

Does your boyfriend only show his sweet side when he wants physical intimacy? Other than that, he may seem distant and uninterested in you.

If this is the case, then he’s faking the relationship.

9. He avoids communication

One of the more obvious signs he pretends to love you is when he avoids communication.

So, if you start seeing that your boyfriend lacks interest when he’s talking to you or only pretends to listen, then you need to face the truth. 

Also, when your boyfriend doesn’t even ask you questions or engage in discussion with you, then it only means one thing- he’s not sincere in your relationship.

10. He is only interested if he can get something

One of the most hurtful ways to know that he never loved you when you are together is when he’s only affectionate when he needs something from you.

Yes, this is a common trait of someone who only pretends that he’s in love.

May it be sex, money, connection, or even attention – he only shows you that he loves you when he needs these things.

He later becomes unavailable or distant once he gets what he needs.

Check out this video where Kev Hick describes how to handle dating a damaged man and why it is not necessary for you to mother him:

11. Your family and friends don’t approve of your relationship

If you notice that your family and friends disapprove of your current boyfriend, maybe it’s time to listen to them. They know when you’re head over heels in love again and if you are being irrational over your decisions.

While there are a few instances that people may do this for their own selfish reasons, the majority of the people closest to you just want you to realize what’s happening.

12. He hides things from you

One way or another, you will know if a guy is hiding something from you.

Did he purchase a new property without you knowing? Did he resign from his work and didn’t bother telling you? Did he meet up with his ex to have coffee and didn’t bother thinking about what you’d feel?

13. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends and family

Does your boyfriend make sudden excuses when you ask about meeting his friends or family?

Does he come up with reasons that it’s not yet the right time, or he would rather have a private relationship with you?

This can only mean that he’s already showing signs he pretends to love you and is not interested in moving forward with you.

14. He’s always unavailable

Being in a relationship is having someone to depend on, but what if your boyfriend is never there when you need him?

He’s never available and always has excuses whenever you need him – even if it’s an emergency.

Check out this video where dating and relationship enthusiast Kev Hick describes how to handle dating a damaged man and why it is not necessary for you to mother him:

15. It’s always your fault

Misunderstandings in a relationship are common. It can also help you grow together, but what if you’re the only one to blame for everything?

Your boyfriend never admits mistakes and would rather debate over who’s at fault instead of saying sorry.

This is a sign of being manipulative and a person who is prone to gaslight.

16. He doesn’t want to grow with you

A person who loves you will challenge you to grow and be a better person.

If your boyfriend never encourages you or corrects you, you need to think twice about him.

A man who doesn’t care about you or your personal growth isn’t sincere with his feelings for you.

17. He avoids “difficult” questions

Does your boyfriend become irritated when you try to talk about your issues as a couple? Does he avoid having deep conversations with you?

Men who only pretend to love you will avoid difficult questions that put them on the hot seat.

He won’t walk about commitment, meeting family and friends, moving forward in your relationship, and being emotionally intimate with you.

18. Forgets special dates and occasions

Sometimes, missing important occasions or dates is normal, but if your boyfriend never remembers even a single one of them, then think this over.

No matter how busy you are, you can find ways to remember important events or dates. However, if your boyfriend never shows that he’s sorry and just shrugs you off, then it means he doesn’t care about how upset you are.

19. He seems bored when he’s with you

When you are in love, you can’t wait to spend time with your partner.

What if you start noticing your boyfriend being distant, irritated, and even bored when you’re together? Would he rather play mobile games than spend quality time with you?

It’s one of the most painful realizations that we need to face.

20. He cheats on you

Don’t ask yourself, “Why did he pretend to love me if he would just cheat on me? 

You don’t even need to look for other signs he pretends to love you if he has already cheated on you. This is the last straw and the most obvious one you need to let go of this person.

21. He shows no support

When someone pretends to love you, they may lack the empathy to offer emotional support during tough times. They might not actively listen, provide comfort, or stand by your side when you need them most, leaving you feeling isolated and emotionally unsupported.

22. There is no future vision

Pretenders often avoid discussing the future because they don’t envision a long-term commitment. They might dodge conversations about plans, marriage, or shared goals, indicating their reluctance to build a life together.

23. You experience unresponsive communication 

Pretenders may be unresponsive or inconsistent in their communication. They might not reply to messages promptly or leave you hanging without explanations, showing a lack of genuine interest in keeping the connection alive.

24. He makes no effort on special occasions

Someone pretending to love you might neglect special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries. They may not make the effort to celebrate or acknowledge these events, suggesting a lack of emotional investment.

25. He has a defensive attitude

Pretenders often become defensive when their authenticity is questioned. They may deflect or avoid conversations about their true feelings, making it challenging to have open and honest discussions about the relationship.

26. Gut feeling

Sometimes, your instincts can be your best guide. If you have a persistent gut feeling that something is off in the relationship, don’t ignore it. 

Your intuition might be picking up on subtle cues and inconsistencies that you haven’t consciously noticed, prompting you to investigate further. Trusting your instincts can lead to valuable insights about the authenticity of your partner’s love.

What to do if you think he is pretending to love you?

If you suspect that your partner is pretending to love you, it’s essential to address your concerns honestly. Here are 5 steps to consider taking

• Communicate openly: Initiate an honest conversation about your feelings and concerns. Share your observations calmly and ask them to express their thoughts and emotions as well.
• Trust your instincts: Don’t dismiss your gut feelings. Your intuition often picks up on subtle cues. Investigate further if something feels off.
• Observe their actions: Pay attention to their actions over words. Genuine love is reflected in consistent, supportive, and caring behavior. Assess whether their actions align with their professed feelings.
• Seek counsel: Consider couples’ therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help navigate the complexities of your relationship and offer insights into its authenticity.
• Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and expectations for the relationship. This can help determine if your partner is willing to invest in a genuine, loving connection or if they continue to pretend.

Commonly asked questions

Navigating love and its complexities can be challenging. Here are answers to common questions that can help you decipher genuine love from unhealthy behaviors and seek support when needed.

• What is the difference between love bombing and love?

Love involves genuine care, respect, and growth. Love bombing is an excessive show of affection to manipulate. Watch for consistency, respect, and shared growth in your relationship.

• How can I tell if he is really in love with me?

Authentic love is consistent, supportive, and respectful. It’s shown through actions, not just words. If your partner prioritizes your well-being, communicates openly, and makes an effort to understand you, it’s likely genuine.

• What should I do if I am in a relationship with someone who is pretending to love me?

If you suspect your partner is pretending to love you, have an open conversation. Trust your instincts and consider therapy for guidance on the next steps.

• How can I protect myself from being love-bombed?

Protect yourself by setting boundaries early in a relationship. Be cautious of excessive flattery and fast-paced romance. Trust your intuition and take time to build trust.

• Where can I get help if I am in a relationship with someone who is pretending to love me?

Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist if you believe you’re in a relationship with someone pretending to love you. They can provide emotional support and guidance on addressing the situation.

In pursuit of true love

Being in love is a beautiful feeling. It makes you motivated, blooming, and of course, happy.

But remember this; your happiness doesn’t depend on another person.

So, in any event, if you already see signs he pretends to love you, then maybe it’s time to reassess your decision to love him.

Don’t settle for a person who doesn’t see your value. Don’t allow a man who doesn’t respect you or see how beautiful and special you are to have a place in your life.

If you are in this situation, just remember that you deserve better.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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