Therefore, it’s hard to learn how to get over being hurt by the one person you thought would never do it.
15 ways to feel better when someone hurts you in relationships
What will you do when someone hurts you that badly? Is it even possible getting over someone who hurt you, especially when you’ve given everything in this relationship?
We have listed a few solutions that will help you gather the courage and guide you on how to restart your life like a new morning.
1. Identify your pain
This is one of the most difficult parts of the whole exercise; identifying the pain. Often people fail to do so as they’re unaware of it. They know something is bothering them to the core but aren’t aware of what it is.
This also happens as they have accepted the situation as they’re. For instance, someone in a toxic relationship has accepted it as their fate and ignores all the possible things causing them pain. Hence, the first step towards solace is to identify the pain.
What do you generally do when someone hurts you? Maintain silence and let the person hurt you or confront them for their actions. There are both kinds of people. We wouldn’t recommend something that’s not in your character as it might put you under pressure instead of helping you.
So, if you’re the one who maintains silence, then don’t let the emotion suffer you from inside.
Please write it down somewhere, maybe in a journal, or speak to someone close.
Keeping the negative emotions inside isn’t going to help you at all. If you’re the latter individual, you’re doing the right thing by confronting the individual.
3. Settle your emotions
You’ve identified your pain and have either expressed it or confronted the individual. But you will need more time to settle everything. There may be an emotional typhoon that you need to settle before moving ahead.
Make distance from the one hurting you. Spend quality time with your family and friends, who will help you settle down with your emotional pain.
Connect with positive people as they observe things and show their positive outcomes.
Happiness and sadness are the rules of the world. Every individual goes through this. The only way to escape is to accept the situation the way they are and move ahead.
When someone hurts you, please take it as a part of a plan. Accept the situation, the reason and move on. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. You have the right to be happy, and let no one take that away from you.
5. Stay in the present
It’s normal to have the past flashing right in front of your eye. You’ve spent some good time with that individual; it’s bound to happen. It’s just the mind is going through a sudden change and is trying to recall all the past beautiful things.
The best way to avoid or overcome this is to live in the present.
Refrain from diving deep into the past and ruining your present. What happened was past; what’s there right now is present.
Accept it, cherish it, and try to move on. It may be difficult in the beginning, but certainly not impossible.
6. Stop rewinding what happened
People will walk up to you to ask what happened and why you are sad. If you’re trying to be over your past, stop rewinding what happened to you. That’s why we suggested writing down a journal, as it would help the memory go weak once it’s out of the mind.
The more you rewind or express your grief to people, the more you tend to feel the pain. So, bury your past and forget it as a bad dream. Things go wrong with everyone, but life goes on.
When someone hurts you, the first thing you might do is blame yourself for what happened.
A relationship is like a cart; you need two wheels to move it further. If one breaks down, the cart won’t be able to move ahead. Likewise, it’s never about “I” or “Me”; instead, it’s about “Us” and “We.”
So, stop blaming yourself for what happened. You may be at fault, but you were not solely responsible for things to go wrong. The sooner you accept it, the better you will feel and be able to overcome the entire situation.
8. Start focusing on yourself
You’ll feel all the pain and betrayal when someone hurts you deeply. Sometimes, you will feel you’re left with nothing.
However, healing from hurt will always start with you and not from anyone else, even from the one who broke your heart.
Some people, though hurt, will still put others first. That will not do you any good. Instead, your feelings will become invalid; sometimes, the person who hurt you might think you’re just okay.
It’s time to focus on yourself and know what you need to heal.
9. Go and meet new people
What happens when people hurt you? Sometimes, it becomes too traumatic that you don’t want to go out and even meet new people.
However, this might hinder how you deal with hurt feelings. Instead of fearing meeting new people, go and meet new people.
Your life doesn’t revolve around the person who hurt you, so hang out with different people.
It’s not just about having fun; it’s about being able to talk to other people and learn life lessons from them.
10. Set boundaries
An important part of healing after someone has hurt you is to take the time to set emotional, physical and communication boundaries with the people who have hurt you.
A person who has hurt you before might hurt you again, if you allow them back into your life. Do what is healthy for your emotional and physical well being, even if it means eliminating certain people from your life.
We understand what emotions one goes through when they’re deeply hurt. But this is just a part of life.
People would come forward and advise you of all possible ways to overcome the pain, but until you decide to, no one can help. So, don’t feel bad about what happened. Gather all the pieces again and start afresh.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.