21 Ways to Deal with an Indecisive Partner

One of the key features of a healthy relationship is making plans to achieve a goal. However, it might be hard to achieve this if both partners are not on the same page. When one partner is particular about something and the other is unsure, it can cause conflict. 

Dealing with an indecisive partner is a lot of work because you need to be patient, loving, and understanding. If you are struggling with how to deal with an indecisive partner, this article is for you.

What is the meaning of indecisiveness in a relationship?

To be indecisive in a relationship means not having the willpower to make decisions and stand by them. Someone indecisive can take a long time to decide on something due to fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, laziness, fear of being responsible, etc. 

Therefore, indecisiveness can be a drawback in the relationship, and it can strain the other partner who is more decisive.

What are the traits of an indecisive partner?

How do you know the traits of an indecisive person in a relationship? You can know if your partner is indecisive by looking at some of these traits below:

1. They promise but forget easily

If you notice that your partner is used to making promises but not meeting them, they might be indecisive. Don’t rely too much on their promises if this pattern occurs regularly. Instead, focus on helping them get better at making decisions.

2. They cancel plans without any valid reason

Have you noticed that your partner is used to canceling plans without providing any good reason? This means that they are not usually sure of their plans. Therefore, they will prefer to cancel, not minding the repercussions.

This usually happens because they act on impulse. Emily Barkley Levenson and Craig R Fox worked on a research study titled: The surprising relationship between indecisiveness and impulsivity. This study explores this relationship with several individual difference measures. 

3. They keep most of their plans private

If you are looking for ways on how to deal with an indecisive partner, one of the things to notice is they prefer to keep their plans secret. They want to do things at their pace without any pressure.

What makes a partner indecisive?

One of the reasons for being indecisive is the fear of making the wrong decision. No one wants to decide on something and later find out they were wrong. Therefore, some people might be reluctant to make such decisions in the first place.

On the other hand, some partners would stick to one decision after several findings and brainstorming sessions. Some people can also be worried about the consequence of succeeding, so making decisions might be difficult for them.

Related Reading: 25 Relationship Issues and How to Solve Them

What are the signs of an indecisive partner?

One of the ways to spot an indecisive partner is their unwillingness to be committed, especially to things that are pretty far away. They don’t like to plan ahead but instead live in the moment. 

Also, another sign of an indecisive woman or man is they don’t know what they want. And you can easily detect this in different aspects of their lives. 

For example, if you ask an indecisive person a simple question, they hardly know the answer because they have never taken ample time to think about it.

To help your partner learn how to be more decisive, check out Damon Zahariades book titled: How to Make Better Decisions. This book contains profound tactics for making courageous decisions in different aspects of life. 

21 effective ways to deal with an indecisive partner

Having an indecisive partner can be tiring and frustrating. This is because they find it hard to be sure of anything. They can make some promises today and not follow through the next day. If you want to know how to deal with an indecisive partner, here are some tips to help you.

1. Create backup plans for them

When it comes to how to deal with indecisiveness, it is important to know that such people have this habit because they are unsure of their plans. It might be challenging to know what to do when they have a sole plan. 

If you have an indecisive partner, you need to make several options available. So, if they cannot decide on their first plan, they can try out the available backup alternatives.

2. Be assertive

One of the ways on how to overcome indecision, especially in a relationship, is to be the assertive one. If your partner cannot easily make choices, you might have to do this for them. 

For instance, if both of you go shopping and you know your partner finds it hard to select for themselves, you need to step in and call the shots.

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Be Assertive in a Relationship

3. Be patient

In the process of how to help indecisiveness in your partner, you might give up because it requires a lot of patience. If you don’t have the bandwidth for that, you need to train yourself to give your partner the time to make critical decisions for themselves. 

You should also provide them with the needed guidance and resources to avoid making mistakes.

Watch this video on how to be more patient in your love life:

4. Throw in a bit of selfishness

Another effective step on how to deal with an indecisive partner is to act selfishly a little. If they are trying to make decisions and are stuck, you can tell them to make you the focal point of their planning. 

So, when they want to make decisions, they can give you a free hand to state what you want and implement it.

Related Reading: Being Selfish in a Relationship – Is It Really Unhealthy?

5. Stimulate their mental capacity

When it comes to indecisive people relationships, you need to be careful not to mistake this for manipulation. 

Sometimes, an indecisive girlfriend or boyfriend might not have the mental strength to brainstorm on making some crucial decisions. Therefore, you can help them by posing important questions that help them decide faster.

6. Encourage them to use their instincts

No matter how indecisive a person might be, there is always something nudging them to do a particular thing. However, the fear of uncertainty and failure prevents them from taking that bold step. 

If you are looking for how to deal with an indecisive partner, you can always encourage them to use their instincts if they are at crossroads.

Related Reading: 20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner

7. Give them the silent treatment

For tips on how to deal with indecisive people, it is sometimes effective to give silent treatment when they are taking too long to make a decision. 

Then, when they notice that you have left them to their fate, they might be more intentional about thoroughly thinking things through and coming up with the right decisions.

8. Explain the importance of making a wise and fast decision

On how to stop being indecisive in a relationship, you might need to take the extra effort to explain why they need to make a decision quickly. You can also let them know how it affects you. 

Please encourage them to put the necessary factors in place to make the right decision instead of being reluctant.

Related Reading: Ways to Make a Strong Decision Together

9. Don’t be too serious

The downside of being too serious while waiting for your partner to decide is that they might take you for granted. Some people might give you faux hope to stop bothering them to make a decision. Unfortunately, it would also make them think you are the only serious person in the relationship.

Related Reading: Am I Ready for a Serious Relationship: 25 Sure Signs You’re Ready

10. Don’t be too harsh on them

When dealing with an indecisive partner, you need to control yourself to avoid being too harsh on them. You don’t have to react to their behavior every time. Sometimes, when indecisive, you can overlook it but let them know you are doing it out of love.

11. Communicate openly with them

Trying to be open is one of the effective ways on how to deal with an indecisive man or woman is to be open with them. 

Discuss with them about their indecisiveness and make them see why you are concerned. Then, convince them to change because it would benefit the relationship.

Related Reading: Open Communication In a Relationship: How to Make it Work

12. Don’t entertain flattery

Some partners might want to flatter you so that you would take your mind off it. However, be careful not to get drawn into their excessive compliments so that you don’t lose focus on the matter at hand. 

If you accept compliments too much, your partner will not take any decision-making process seriously.

13. Give them a deadline

Sometimes, when you are thinking of how to deal with an indecisive partner, you have to be firm. You can threaten them with a deadline that comes with repercussions if they don’t decide fast. But, if your partner treasures the relationship and loves you, they will make adjustments.

14. Keep a healthy communication with them

When dealing with an indecisive partner, you have to be careful because you might get angry and refuse to communicate with them. 

You can prevent this from happening by maintaining healthy communication with them. They might be under pressure so avoid bringing up unhealthy conversations that will make matters worse.

15. Choose your battles wisely

It would be best to learn that you don’t have to be firm in some aspects of indecisive people relationships. It would help if you did not force your partner to decide on sensitive matters. Give them all the time they want while still motivating them to employ critical thinking.

16. Support their decisions sometimes

When your partner decides, but they are not sure of it, you should throw your weight behind them. 

Sometimes, all they need is your vote of confidence so that they can take a bold step. When they see that you support them, they will be more motivated to make crucial decisions.

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship

17. Don’t expect too much

It is important not to get your hopes up for an indecisive relationship. If you expect too much from your partner, they might disappoint you. 

As they continue becoming less indecisive, you need to allow them to grow and fully adjust to the process. The change phase might be slow, but you need to patiently wait till they become better.

18. Remind them of their commitments

On how to deal with an indecisive partner, you need to constantly remind them of how important their commitment is. When someone needs to decide, a commitment level is associated with it. 

If they are reluctant to make a decision, their commitment could suffer. When you remind them about how vital their commitment level is, they will sit up.

Related Reading: Significance of Commitment in Relationships

19. Feel free to give up sometimes

After applying all the effective strategies to make them more decisive, they might not take action. At this point, you can take a step back and watch. 

Your strategies might be correct, but your method of approach may be flawed. Therefore, give up on them for a while and plan a comeback that they would not see coming.

20. Love them unconditionally

While you wonder what causes indecisiveness in a relationship, remember that you need to keep loving your partner for who they are. 

Even though indecisiveness is a flaw that many people cannot keep up with, always remind your partner that they are unique and you will always have their backs.

Sometimes, the best motivation is showing love, which automatically compels them to do the right thing without any external influence.

Related Reading: Unconditional Love: Meaning, How To Give It and Know If It’s Healthy

21. See a relationship counselor

If you feel that it is becoming more difficult for you to handle your partner because of their indecisiveness, you can seek the help of a relationship counselor.

One of the first things the counselor would do is help you uncover the root cause of their indecisiveness. Then, after conducting a personalized and in-depth interview with them, the counselor would create a treatment plan that will help them get better.

You can also take a cue from Chip and Dan Heath’s book, Decisive. Apart from romantic relationships, this book teaches how to make better choices in life and work. 

Conclusion

The strategies on how to deal with an indecisive partner in this article are guaranteed to work, provided you are ready to stick with your partner through thick and thin. However, dealing with indecisiveness also requires that you approach their inadequacies with love and be patient enough for them to get better.