You have to react maturely, even if you’re breaking inside. Don’t cry and beg. It won’t work, and you will regret it.
Stay calm and respect your ex’s decision. This is hard, especially if your ex caught you off guard and you didn’t have any idea that your partner would end your relationship.
There will be many ways how to accept a breakup you didn’t want, and we’ll get to that later.
Remember to keep your composure and end the conversation as soon as possible.
Learning the stages of breakup?
Before you try and understand how to accept a breakup, you will first understand and be familiar with its stages.
Why is this important?
You want to familiarize yourself with the stages that you will go through. If you know the stages of a breakup, it would be less likely that your emotions could get the better of you.
By knowing the stages of a breakup, you will understand the emotions you’re going through, and you will know what steps to take.
What’s the hardest part of a breakup?
What’s the hardest part of breaking up with someone you love?
Is it the realization that you have the person you love who doesn’t love you anymore? Or is it that you have invested so much only to lose everything?
Depending on the story behind the breakup, the answer may differ.
But most of us would agree that acceptance is one of the hardest stages of breaking up.
Most people will try to fix it, blame who’s at fault, or be angry, but facing the reality that you’re all alone, is one of the heart-wrenching parts of letting go.
25 Ways to finally accept a breakup you didn’t plan and move on
It happened. You broke up, now what?
It’s time to learn how to cope with a breakup you don’t want, but where do you start?
Accepting it’s over, but these 25 tips on how to accept a breakup could help:
1. Recognize the loss
One way on how to cope with a breakup you don’t want is to recognize the loss. You have to allow yourself to recognize that you’ve lost someone important to you.
You loved this person, and it’s normal to feel sad because you lost someone you love. A breakup you didn’t plan would hit harder because you didn’t expect the loss.
2. Feel the emotions
Once you start recognizing the loss, expect to feel different emotions. You will feel one or all of these feelings, such as confusion, sadness, anger, nervousness, pain, etc.
Allow yourself to feel all of these emotions. Why?
As you allow yourself to feel all these emotions, you are slowly learning how to move on from a breakup.
3. Allow yourself to grief
Remember, if you block every emotion from your breakup, you’re not facing the problem. You’re burying the pain deep inside. It would take time until you can no longer handle that heavy weight on your chest.
Don’t do this to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve because you’ve lost someone important.
You loved this person, and you didn’t want to part ways. Cry if you need to.
4. Validate your feelings
“I’m heartbroken. It hurts so much.”
Close your eyes, and breathe. Yes. It does hurt – a lot.
Anyone who has the same heartbreak will understand. Now, comfort yourself. Start practicing self-compassion. If this happened to a friend, what would you tell your friend?
Andrea Schulman, an LOA coach, will teach us about self-love and 3 easy self-love exercises.
6. Talk to a therapist
It’s already hard to accept heartbreak, but what if there was also abuse?
If you need additional help from the trauma, you may go to a licensed therapist. This professional can help you how to accept a breakup, move on, and rebuild yourself.
7. Start accepting
Learn how to accept heartbreak by seeing the present.
It’s okay to cry and feel all the emotions. Once that’s done, start accepting reality. Accept that you’re on your own now and that you will now do everything to move on.
You may start slowly, but that’s okay.
8. Ask for support from trusted people
Even if you have accepted the truth and started to move on, there will be times when you want someone to be there for you.
This moment calls for your trusted family and friends. Talk to them, and your burden will ease.
9. Clean your home
Did you know that one of the proven steps on moving on after a breakup is cleaning your home?
It’s therapeutic and gives you the chance to remove your ex’s things and every memory of him. It’s important to make sure that you have different boxes where you can donate, throw, or return your ex’s things.
10. Don’t keep your ex’s things
You might have the urge to keep those old photos, gifts, letters, or all the things that you deeply treasure – don’t do it.
Keeping those things will only mean that you are still hoping to fix your relationship. You’re still keeping the memories and holding on.
Remember, to move forward – you need to start with a clean slate.
11. Try journaling
There will be times when you want to put your feelings into words. Journaling is another therapeutic way to validate what you’re feeling and start showing self-compassion.
You can list all the worries and questions you have, then on the next page, talk to yourself like you’re talking to a broken-hearted friend. Invest in journaling kits and see how much it helps.
12. Start deleting
Check your phone, hard drive, and social media.
Delete all photos, chats, videos, anything that will make it more painful for you. It’s a part of moving on.
Understandably, it’s hard to let go, but know that this is how to accept a breakup. If you don’t do this, you’re giving yourself false hope by keeping your ex’s memories close.
13. Unfollow and don’t look back
Go to your ex’s social media profiles and unfriend or unfollow. It doesn’t mean you’re bitter–not at all.
It only means you want peace, and you no longer want this person’s memory to linger. It’s time for you to move on, which means allowing yourself to be free from your ex’s shadow.
14. Take a break from the Internet
There will be times when you want to stalk your ex. It’s understandable. So if you think you want to do it, take a social media detox.
Out of sight, out of mind, so use this and stop checking your ex’s profile.
15. Don’t ask your friends to check your ex
Good job to stay out of social media, and there are no photos or texts left on your phone. Oh, wait, you have mutual friends.
Okay, stop right there. Accepting it’s over means resisting the urge to ask about your ex.
Don’t ask how your ex is doing; you want to know if this person is feeling miserable without you.
Don’t start with false hopes because this will only prevent you from breaking free and moving on.
16. Cut ties
It’s hard to cut ties with your ex’s family or friends. Sometimes, you can remain friends with them.
However, in the first few weeks or months after your breakup, it’s better to cut ties with these people. Don’t linger, hoping your ex will realize that you can get back together.
To forget requires you to cut ties with the people connected to your ex.
17. Take time and reset
Learn to know how to accept a breakup by taking time to reset. You’ve been through so much. It’s time to take a break. Let your heart and mind rest.
Time alone is essential for moving on, and only you can give that to yourself.
18. Start taking care of yourself
This is the start of a new you. Being single isn’t so bad, but before you embrace your single life, it’s time to take care of yourself first.
Get a makeover, buy new clothes, and go to the gym. Do everything for yourself and not for anyone else. Choose yourself and nurture this moment. It’s time to grow, and you deserve it.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.