The basis of any relationship is trust. Trust is the vital cog that keeps the relationship intact and gives us the strength to support each other through thick and thin. When there are trust issues in a relationship, there is a complete breakdown of communication as well as love.
If you face such issues in your relationship, it is important to work towards rebuilding trust in your relationship.
What is distrust in relationships?
Distrust in relationships can be referred to as anticipation, fear, or expectation that the partner has some motives that do not fall under good light when it comes to the relationship.
It is basically a lack of trust and confidence in the partner and a fear of danger that further stimulates insecurities and negative thoughts in the other partner’s health. Distrust is basically a mechanism for the person to avoid anything to play havoc in the relationship.
Where do trust issues come from?
There could be several reasons for dwindling trust in the relationship. It could be due to some childhood experiences or infidelity issues in the past. The magnitude of distrust could depend on the experiences one partner might have faced or the level of suspicion one partner might have on another.
Also, any form of rejection in the past, be it from the family, social or personal can cause difficulty of trusting as adults. Besides, difficult life events, illness, theft, loss of a loved one can also play as causes of trust issues in the partner.
Signs of trust issues in a relationship
Lack of trust in the relationship can play havoc in life. If your partner has trust issues, it can bring bad health to the relationship.
Since trust is the foundation of any relationship, the effects of lack of trust in a relationship can be dangerous.
If you are not sure about your partner having trust issues or there could be other problems they might be facing, below are a few signs that will help you be aware of your partner suffering from distrust.
17 tips on how to overcome trust issues in relationships
So, how to get past trust issues?
Here are 17 simple tips which you can follow in order to not only overcome distrust or trust issues in relationships but ensure that it is back to normal.
You can work on trust issues in a relationship with these right steps for a long-lasting and happier bond.
1. Look back into the past
Many individuals just ignore trust issues. This is not the solution.
One of the first ways of how to overcome trust issues is to find out the core reason which allowed the trust issues to creep into your relationship.
For example, Relate research shows that people of different ages value commitment and trust in relationships differently. Among those aged 65 or over, 35% consider marriage as the most important sign of commitment, yet only 12% of 16-24 year-olds agreed.
So the changes in society may cause a change in your attitude towards relationships as well.
Self-reflecting is easier said than done.
Such events might be entrenched well into your past. That is why you have to ponder over your thoughts and memories in order to find out about the core reasons.
Only once you are able to do that, you can take the right steps to overcome these trust issues.
2. Turn on empathy
To overcome doubt in a relationship, be considerate towards your partner. If you are empathetic towards them, it will pave a way for your partner to release the stress and let you know what exactly is triggering such a behavior.
So, be understanding and empathetic in order to build more trust in the relationship.
Communication and empathy are the keys to overcome trust issues in a relationship.
You have to not only communicate with your spouse but you have to understand their emotions as well as their point of view. The more you communicate and the more direct you are with your partner, the easier it will be for you to overcome your trust issues.
You have to devote some time to rebuild your relationship.
Only when you’re patient enough and are dedicated to rebuilding your relationship, you will be able to overcome the trust issues. Also, staying discreet with your partner is not the solution here. In fact, you have to spend time together in order to understand the problems and overcome them.
This will also provide you with some space to discuss the issues about how to overcome trust issues.
You have to always ensure that you deal with one issue at a time when you try to overcome trust issues in your relationship.
5. Believe in yourself
When your relationship is under stress, it is obvious that it will dent your confidence.
You need to keep in mind that if you’re not strong enough in these trying times, you will never be able to patch up your relationship. You have to not only believe in yourself but also motivate the other person to set things right.
Only when you are able to believe that things can get better, you will be able to convince others that they should also give a shot to overcome these issues. That is why you have to 1st work on building your own confidence and thereafter convince your partner to work with you to rebuild the relationship.
If you’re not confident enough, it will be very difficult for you to show empathy and love to your partner. You will not be able to remain patient enough to notice the smaller improvements in your relationship.
People with low self‐esteem perceive their partners to be less responsive than do people with high self‐esteem.
That is why overcome trust issues with your partner by being confident and not losing respect for oneself in the face of such trying times.
6. Be true to yourself
Once you communicate with your partner, you will be able to understand the exact gravity of the situation. You have to respect the feelings of your partner rather than trying to superimpose your decision on them.
Many times, moving on is the best thing to opt for. This does not mean that you should keep the issues unresolved but lingering over issues that are harmful to your relationship is not the solution either.
To overcome trust issues with your spouse, you have to work with your partner in order to take the best step forward and improve the relationship.
7. Check if there is really nothing to worry about
Up until now, all the steps which we have discussed allow you to mend your relationship. This, however, does not mean that you have to be blind to the possibility of a cheating spouse. You have to cross-verify whether your partner is loyal to you or not.
You might wonder how you will be able to do that.
The simplest way to do so is to check the smartphone of your partner. You have to be transparent about it and let them check yours as well.
In case, you are trying to verify any phone number, you can choose a reverse phone lookup service to check the identity behind the phone numbers. This will eliminate each and every iota of doubt.
Thereafter, you and your partner can work towards rebuilding the relationship rather than focusing on the distractions and doubts.
8. Remember what brought you together
How to overcome trust issues?
You need to remember what brought you together.
In times of despair when you’re not able to trust your partner, it might seem like an uphill task to put in the effort to set things right.
You have to recall the happy memories which you have together. You have to derive strength from these memories in order to put in the effort to rebuild your relationship.
Only when you are able to gather those thoughts, you can overcome the uphill task of rebuilding your relationship.
9. Quality time, quality talk
Last but not the least, to overcome lack of trust, you have to increase the time which you devote to your relationship.
You need to understand that the issues which have crept into your relationship can only be solved by spending some quality time with your spouse and listening to them attentively.
The video below provides some practical tips to be happy in love and practice forgiveness. Check it out:
11. Consider the reason behind the behavior
If your partner is having trust issues, rather than reacting negatively to it in the first place, understand the root cause of it.
For overcoming trust issues in relationships, understand the reason why your partner is behaving like that. It could be some past trauma or he must have observed something that led him to believe you have malicious intentions in the relationship.
In any case, you must stick with them and solve the problem before taking any drastic step.
12. Hang out with each other’s friends
If your partner doubts you or your friends, it is best to introduce them to your partner so that he doesn’t feel there are walls between you two. You both can choose to hang out with each other’s friends often to avoid any negativity to creep in.
13. Practice vulnerability
Vulnerability is the key component of how to overcome trust issues and should be practiced without fail. It is important that you are vulnerable in the relationship and let your guards down for your partner to be able to believe in you.
At times, partners fear vulnerability so much that they choose not to reveal themselves to their partners. This creates further walls in the relationship.
14. Journal together
Maintain a gratitude journal where at the end of the day, you both jot down what you appreciated about each other throughout the day. This will help you both realize the strength of your relationship and make you both feel positive about each other.
Eventually, you will see trust-building in the relationship over a period of time after the practice.
15. Introduce mutual transparency
Distrust stems from suspicions about the partner’s activities. So, the more transparent you are in the relationship, the better will be the trust between you and your partner.
So, introduce as much transparency in the relationship as possible. It will help you both nurture the relationship better and add positivity.
16. Manage expectations
Understand what your partner expects from you in the relationship. More often than not, it might happen that they have certain relationship expectations which are not getting fulfilled repeatedly and, it led to annoyance, anger, and ultimately, distrust.
17. Get professional help
If you have tried all the ways but the issue seems to loom large in the relationship, it is best to consult a therapist or a relationship counselor in order to get help with trust issues in a relationship and set things right.
With the right techniques and guided support, you both are sure to find a solution to relationship trust issues.
For overcoming distrust in a relationship, a little bit of patience and effort can do wonders.
So, if your relationship has been affected due to a lack of trust, it is important that you take the time and effort to rebuild it.
In many cases, it is just due to a misunderstanding rather than anything grave. A little bit of patience and effort on your part can help you get over trust issues and the relationship will flourish once again.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Mark Meyer works as the content manager at Spokeo, a service company that offers reverse number lookup. His field of expertise includes business, relationships, and self - improvement. In his spare time, he enjoys hiking and surfing with his wife.