When you’re in a new relationship everything your partner does seem amazing, yet your friends and family don’t seem to be wearing the same rose-colored glasses as you are.
Does your relationship build you up or tear you down? A great relationship should make you feel over the moon, not like you’re walking on eggshells.
A bad relationship isn’t always easy to spot, especially when you are in it. Here are 10 signs of a bad relationship that needs to be ended. Although getting out of a bad relationship may seem a daunting task when there is a strong(albeit unhealthy) attachment, it is the only wise thing to do.
Bad relationship signs
1. You don’t feel built up
If you would rather confide in a total stranger about achievement in your life rather than your mate, you can take it as one of the signs you are in a bad relationship. Relationships should make you feel good about yourself.
You should be encouraged to pursue your goals. When you are down, your partner should be there to lift you up back and make you smile. You should be able to tell your partner anything and expect support and encouragement. Not being able to communicate freely is the worst of the signs of bad communication in a relationship.
Needless to say, if you aren’t getting these things, this is one of the signs you’re in a bad relationship.
Emotional needs range from the reassurance that your partner cares for and respects you for needing to retain some freedom and independence. When these emotional needs aren’t met it can cause you to feel depressed or controlled. Unmet emotional needs are one of the glaring signs of a failing relationship.
3. You are not financially stable
Money isn’t everything, but you do need it to pay the bills.
When both parties in a relationship are acting as partners financially, it takes the burden and stress off of each individual. When you are not financially stable it leads to arguments, anxiety, and resentment.
Also, other signs you are in a relationship fraught with instability and toxicity include a lack of financial compatibility and transparency between partners.
4. Putting up with a lot just for sex
If you find that you are putting up with a lot of nonsense just for the chance to have sex with your partner, you are definitely in the wrong relationship.
A healthy relationship will fulfill your physical and emotional needs, not make you feel berated only to reward submissive behavior with intercourse. An unhealthy relationship will end up leaving you to feel used in a relationship.
5. Unbalanced give and take in the relationship
One of the signs you’re in a bad relationship is when you give, give, give, and your partner takes, takes, and takes in return. Relationships have to be “give and take” from both parties, otherwise, you will experience a romantic-burnout very quickly.
Wanting more or less of it doesn’t make you a bad person. These are your physical needs and you want your partner to accept and respect them. If your partner is not meeting your physical needs or putting forth the effort to make sure you are sexually satisfied, you are in a bad relationship.
You may start to resent your mate and may even start looking outside the relationship for gratification. Avoid this relationship pitfall by talking openly and honestly at the beginning of your relationship about your sexual expectations.
7. You ignore your gut instinct
The phrase “Listen to your gut” is out there for a reason. You can tell a lot about your needs and desires by simply listening to your instincts.
If you feel your mate isn’t treating you well, odds are you’re right. By ignoring your personal judgments about someone you may be forcing yourself to stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship.
8. You’re contemplating an affair
One of the signs that you’re in a bad relationship is when you are so sick of your partner that you begin contemplating having an affair.
That’s not to say all people have affairs because they are in poor relationships, but it certainly is a reason. When you are so bored or unhappy that you are fantasizing about starting up with someone else and are indifferent to betraying your partner’s trust, it’s time to get out.
9. You rationalize bad behavior
If you are being mistreated by your partner by being spoken down to or are being physically abused and excuse it with a: “She was just having a bad day” or “It was wrong, but he seems really sorry” you are in a bad relationship.
Your partner should never speak down to you, even during an argument. If they get verbally abusive, that is one of the tell-tale signs of a bad girlfriend or boyfriend.
A healthy relationship will make you feel loved and secure, no matter what the two of you are going through. Excusing bad behavior is much like lying to yourself. Sure, you can tell yourself that your car doesn’t have a flat tire, but the truth is you aren’t going anywhere.
Constant arguments are a sign that you and your partner cannot communicate, show respect, or compromise. Sure, it’s normal for couples to fight.
In small doses, it can actually be healthy and improve a couple’s communication process. But if you find that you are constantly fighting you are probably not in a healthy relationship. Fighting every day is not normal and can be a destructive pattern for couples. If you have an argumentative and volatile partner, who gets enraged at the slightest of things, then these are signs of a bad boyfriend or girlfriend.
11. Lying to your friends and family
One of the key signs that you are in a bad relationship is when you begin lying to your friends and family about what’s going on in your life.
Much like rationalizing bad behavior, you likely don’t want those close to you to know about the actual goings-on of how your relationship functions. If you are worried that your friends will think you are being mistreated, odds are that is the truth of the matter.
If you are experiencing one or more of the warning signs of a bad relationship on this list, these are flashing signs you’re in a bad relationship.
On how to get out of a bad relationship, remind yourself you deserve to be with someone who supports you and makes you feel special. Don’t sell yourself short by allowing someone to take you for granted and continuing a poisonous relationship.
By factoring in the toxic relationship symptoms, you will be able to realize how the most important relationship needs are being mocked at and the need to let go of the relationship.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.