After some time, he would be sweet and understanding again, so we would never think that there are already signs your husband is a misogynist.
Is my husband a misogynist? Here are 20 traits to watch out for:
1. He thinks women are weak or incapable
“See, that’s why women shouldn’t drive cars!”
He might say it as a side comment, a joke, or even a direct opinion of how a woman shouldn’t do certain things. A misogynist husband would always have the idea that women can’t do things correctly and should leave it to the ‘men’ to do it.
3. He shows anger and disgust towards female leaders
“She could not have done that without any help from powerful men.”
A misogynist will always think that women of power are ‘useless’ and will not contribute anything to society. They can also comment on how manly they seem to be or how they try to be men, just to justify that men are still dominant in this field.
4. He doesn’t believe in equality among men and women
“That’s nonsense! Men and women cannot be equals!”
Because of social media, we often see women empowerment, not to mention the equality amongst women and men. Whenever he sees them, he would usually have side comments about how women are still trying to pretend to be equal with men.
5. He won’t let you earn more than he does
“So, you’re happy that you got lucky with that job? Good for you.”
If you recently landed a job or have been earning more than him, he’ll take that against you.
He would show no interest in your career. He might even give side comments on how women should focus on the family and kids.
On the other hand, all he does should be praised because he’s the man of the house, the breadwinner, the provider, and you should be thankful for him.
6. He uses degrading statements
“Give me a break! Don’t be a woman who thinks she can rule the world!”
That’s it, a misogynist right there.
Those words contain the use of the ‘female’ word to degrade or insult. It’s like showing that being a woman means you’re lower than men; that only women can do shameful things.
7. He always puts you down
“Seriously? That’s it? Without me, you won’t be able to go anywhere with that skill!”
He may try to say it like a joke, but remember this, he means it!
Every chance he can – he would belittle, make fun of, or put you down. From your family background, education, friends, skills, he would find a way to make fun of you so he could feel better.
8. You need to follow his terms, even when it comes to sex
“It’s your responsibility as a wife to please me and have sex with me.”
Sex is a beautiful thing, but if you have a misogynist husband, you won’t have a say in your relationship.
It would seem that sex has become an obligation of a woman to please her man. You should, ‘as a woman, ‘ whenever he wants it,’ oblige to his demands. If not, he’ll get angry or punish you by not talking to you.
Remember that if he tries to force you, even if you’re married, that’s considered rape.
9. He will not help you with “women’s tasks”
“No. That’s a woman’s job.”
That’s right, a ‘woman’s’ job. A misogynist can never see himself doing such tasks. For him, he should only be in the corporate world, and women shouldn’t ask ‘men’ to do chores.
He would often just watch you clean while he’s watching the game. Even if your baby is crying, the laundry has piled up, and there’s no food yet, he won’t help.
“Of course! I’m a hands-on father to my kids. Look at them. They’re precious!”
When other people are around, he becomes the best dad, but that’s just an act. When you’re at home, it becomes the woman’s job to take care of everything, but when it comes to credit, well, he has the right to claim that.
16. He doesn’t take feminism seriously
“There is no such thing. Women make everything complicated.”
That right there is a sign of a misogynist. Of course, whenever there’s an issue, it’s the women’s fault and for a misogynist.
17. He would convince you about other women’s ‘irrational’ ideas
“You know better than that! Don’t be like those women who are so full of themselves.”
A man who thinks feminism is a joke is a misogynist. Whenever there’s a topic about feminism, he would think that it’s just an act for attention, and he would even discredit them.
18. He gets defensive when you talk about misogyny
“Seriously? That’s what you get by listening to those women!”
He would refuse to talk about misogyny and would even blame the thought of it as toxic or as a result of listening to ‘women’ who want attention.
19. He’s abusive
“Don’t blame this on me! You did this to yourself! You deserve this!”
A misogynist would grab every opportunity to belittle and attack you. Aside from that, he would even gaslight at every chance and would remind you of how incompetent you are.
You would see it in his eyes. He has that disgusted look when he stares at you.
20. He passes his mindset to your children
“Son, you have to grow up like daddy, okay? Never let any woman boss you around!”
Sadly, a misogynist husband is a misogynist father.
If he has a daughter, don’t be surprised if he would treat her the same. However, a son to him is a prodigy. It would become his goal to nurture him to be like him – a misogynist.
Living with a misogynistic partner – now what?
My husband is a misogynist. Now what?
For you to deal with a misogynist husband is not easy.
Depending on the severity of the problem, some relationships can be saved with the help of therapy.
But what if there is no chance of winning in a battle with a misogynist?
What if you’re being abused, being forced to have sex, being humiliated?
Misogynists, upon treating women poorly, unconsciously feel good about themselves. Deep down, misogynists get that ego boost, they feel better about their insecurities, and they feel powerful each time they belittle women.
Unfortunately, having a misogynist husband will only leave you heartbroken.
By knowing the traits of a misogynist, you’ll discover and confirm if you are in a relationship with one.
This is the time to think about your future.
No one deserves to be treated this way, and no one wants to raise kids who belittle other people.
You deserve to be in a relationship with a partner who treats you as an equal – who treats all people as equals.
It’s time to stand up and refuse to be in the shadow of misogynists. We all deserve better than that.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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