Divorce rates are rising exponentially in the United States of America. At present, around 40 to 50 percent of marriages there end in divorce.
The institution of marriage has reached a dangerous brink where only half of the total marriages survive a lifetime and the rest are pushed down the path of divorce.
There are numerous reasons as to why divorce rates are soaring. One of the critical reasons behind not avoiding divorce is that people don’t put adequate efforts to fix their partially broken marriages.
Divorce is no longer a taboo and divorcees no longer face any kind of social pressures or threat of alienation. Though this is a very positive step for society it has made divorce a very normal phenomenon.
Most people find getting a divorce easier and more convenient than actually preventing divorce and solving their relationship troubles.
When people get into relationships, especially marriage, they invest an immense amount of their time, energy and emotions in it.
Over the years, all relationships go through hard times and cause pain and hurt to the people involved. But is it wise to let go of the relationship altogether because of that?
Absolutely NOT! Time passes and with that, all difficulties also vanish, but it’s important to protect your marriage through that time.
Not stopping your divorce is a solution for extreme discord between partners, not for temporary relationship struggles.
If you find tough times and marital troubles pushing your relationship to the edge, here’s are some tips to avoid divorce.
In this article 12 Relationship experts suggest some excellent ways on how to stop a divorce or how to prevent a divorce:
1) Don’t jump to divorce without doing the work of your marriage first
Take responsibility for how you are acting in your marriage. Are you leveraging relationships experts and putting their advice into action?
Are you being mindful around the home and connecting with your partner leaving and entering the relationship? Are you taking the time to talk? Are you taking time for intimacy?
Are you having fun with your partner? Are you creating individual and relationship space for love to grow? Until you’ve done the hard work of inner reflection and building a new marriage it isn’t time and you must stop your divorce.
2) Follow the 7 principles to resolve conflicts and prevent a divorce:
- Take Time Outs & return within an hour
- Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.”
- Your ‘first words’ describe what you said or did that made it worse
- Seek first to understand your partner, before seeking understanding for yourself
- Orient towards compassion, rather than correctness
- Seek help if you cannot control your emotions or behavior
- Always remember you love your partner
3) Contemplate, have you done everything to save your marriage?
One way to save a marriage from divorce: Do you feel you have done everything you could to save this marriage? If not, then you should go to counseling and see.
Many marriages end simply because people didn’t know what they could have done to fix the situation. No one has all the answers. It can be helpful to talk to an outside party who is just trying to help.
With that being said, ideally, people would seek counseling long before considering divorce.
This type of treatment is incredibly hard and it can be very difficult for couples to work through the kinds of resentment that come with considering divorce. I would prefer to see people early on to really help them improve the situation.
4) Be vulnerable, speak from the heart
When relationships cool off, we feel vulnerable because we no longer “know” this other person; each of us is hiding behind our defenses.
But the more vulnerable we feel, the more we back off emotionally – which cools the relationship further.
To know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, we have to stop attacking as a defensive maneuver and love ourselves enough to be ready to be vulnerable; i.e., be real to one another. Speaking from the heart can re-open the door and bring down defenses.
5) In times of conflicts, remember what brought you together
Before making the decision to divorce, couples are encouraged to think about why they first became committed to each other. Recall the feelings that once brought you together.
Imagine the wonderful person whom you originally loved and adored. If you can begin to access the positive emotions and memories that you had for your partner, you will have the opportunity to reevaluate your decision to divorce.
6) Remember the good memories
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.