On the wedding day, you committed to your partner to be there in the good and the bad – right? We have no problem sticking in there for the good, but when the bad raises its ugly head, the wedding vows are truly tested. Marriage counseling is often viewed negatively by some partners, but external help from an independent and unbiased third party can significantly help couples through their marital problems. So when is it time to get marriage counseling?
When two different people join together in marriage, there will be difference in opinions, viewpoints and ways of doing things. Effective communication can make the difference between an argument and a rational discussion. In effective communication each party is able to communicate their points and together the parties can arrive at a compromise.
An argument between a couple results in trying to “win” with their view point with each other that make them feeling bullied and defensive. This makes atmosphere unhealthy and if it continues with consistency, marriage counseling should be considered immediately.
Marriage vows are based on a promise of commitment and exclusivity. Where one or both persons in a marriage breach this promise, it can lead to significant conflict in the relationship. Infidelity allows for feelings of mistrust, rejection and anger. It is hard for the perpetrator of the infidelity to understand or even provide the support needed for the victim to overcome these feelings and learn to trust in the marriage vows again. Instead of trying to work at it, it is time to invite the help of a marriage counselor.
Prolonged and unresolved conflict or suppressed emotions can lead to a married couple living together as roommates or brothers and sisters. This state can go on for quite a while and especially where children are involved; this living status is the easy way to co-exist without arguments. But this represents a silent volcano ready to explode. Before it gets to that point, it is time to seek marriage counseling to try and rekindle the love, affection and joy of your marriage.
After an extensive period of conflict and arguments, a couple may decide to separate. But there is always hope that the separation will foster and rekindle the love – absence makes the heart grow fonder! However, separation can lead to divorce, as well. Where separation is being contemplated, the couple should seriously consider marriage counseling.