7 Possible Reasons an Ex Tells You to Move On

The aftermath of a breakup can be emotionally tumultuous, leaving many grappling with mixed signals and unresolved feelings. One of the most perplexing scenarios is when an ex-partner advises you to move on.

According to Dionne Eleanor Reid, an experienced transformational coach:

Sometimes, the hardest part of moving on is recognizing that it’s not just about letting go of the past but embracing the future full of unknown possibilities.

The advice to move on can stir a whirlwind of questions and emotions, making it difficult to understand their true intentions and how you should respond. 

This article delves into what it means when your ex tells you to move on, explores signs that may indicate whether they’re considering a reunion or if it’s genuinely over, and examines the reasons behind their suggestion to move on.

What does it mean when your ex tells you to move on? 

When your ex tells you to move on, it often signifies that they have accepted the end of the relationship and believe it’s in both parties’ best interests to let go and heal.

Dionne Eleanor Reid highlights that:

Moving on is a powerful invitation to rediscover yourself.

This statement can also be a reflection of their desire to avoid further emotional entanglements and a recognition that the relationship doesn’t have a future. 

In some cases, it might be a protective measure, aimed at sparing both of you from prolonged pain or false hope. Essentially, it’s a clear indication that they are looking forward and encouraging you to do the same, closing the chapter on the relationship.

7 possible reasons your ex told you to move on

When your ex tells you to move on, it can be a complex message to decipher. This phrase, often loaded with emotional undertones, can carry different meanings based on the individual circumstances of your relationship and breakup. Here are some detailed insights into what it might signify:

1. Seeking closure for both parties

When your ex tells you to move on, it might be a sign that they have come to terms with the end of the relationship and are ready to close that chapter. 

This suggestion can be an indication that they have processed their feelings and believe that both of you should do the same to heal and move forward. It’s a recognition that clinging to what was can hinder growth and the ability to embrace new opportunities.

Dionne Eleanor Reid adds that:

True closure happens not when we force ourselves to forget but when we allow ourselves to heal and create new beginnings.

2. Protecting themselves or you from further hurt

When your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend tells you to move on, it could be a protective mechanism. 

If they care about you but recognize that the relationship is no longer viable, they might suggest moving on as a way to shield you (and themselves) from the prolonged pain of a drawn-out breakup. This can be particularly true if they feel that staying in touch is preventing either of you from healing.

Relationship & empowerment mentor Dionne Eleanor mentions:

Sometimes, love means knowing when to step away or change the dynamics and protect what remains of your peace.

3. An indication of their personal growth

If your ex told me to move on, it might reflect their journey towards personal development. After introspection, your ex might have realized that the relationship was limiting personal growth for one or both of you.

Coach Dionne Eleanor points out:

Personal growth sometimes demands a painful separation, not because we don’t care but because we both deserve to evolve.

In telling you to move on, they’re not just expressing their own need for growth but also acknowledging that you too have the potential to evolve beyond the confines of the past relationship.

4. A sign of unresolved feelings

Ironically, this phrase can sometimes signal that your ex is grappling with unresolved emotions. They may be trying to move on themselves but are finding it difficult. 

In such cases, telling you to move on is more about them trying to convince themselves rather than a genuine belief that it’s the best course for you.

5. An expression of finality

Sometimes the message is as simple and as hard as it sounds – a definitive end to the relationship. 

Dionne Eleanor says that:

Finality is just about closing a door; it’s about having the courage to open a new one.

In this context, when an ex decisively suggests moving on, it’s a clear indication that they have turned a page and believe it’s time for you to do the same. It’s an acknowledgment that the relationship has run its course and that clinging to it won’t change the outcome.

6. Underlying guilt or regret

If your ex is burdened with guilt or regret over how the relationship ended or how they behaved, telling you to move on might be a way for them to cope with these feelings. 

It can be a sign that they are struggling with their conscience and, in a way, seeking absolution by encouraging you to find happiness elsewhere.

7. Influence from external factors

Sometimes, the advice to move on comes not from the ex’s own feelings but from external pressures. Friends, family, or cultural norms can heavily influence a person’s decision-making process post-breakup.

In each of these scenarios, it’s important to remember that the end of a relationship is a complex process and can be fraught with mixed emotions and motives. Understanding the nuances behind your ex’s suggestion to move on can provide valuable insights into both your past relationship and your journey toward healing and growth.

Will he eventually come back, or is it really over? 7 signs to look for

Navigating the emotional landscape after a breakup can be challenging, especially when deciphering signals from an ex. Understanding whether an ex tells you to move on or shows signs of wanting to reconnect is key to finding clarity and peace.

1. Inconsistency in communication

This sign revolves around the unpredictability in how and when your ex contacts you. If there are periods of no contact followed by sudden bursts of texts, calls, or even social media interactions, it might indicate that they are struggling with their decision to end the relationship. 

This inconsistency often reflects their internal conflict about whether they truly want to move on or still have lingering feelings for you.

2. Emotional outbursts

If your ex exhibits emotional reactions that seem disproportionate or unexpected given the situation – be it anger, sadness, or even excessive joy – it could suggest that they have unresolved emotions towards you. These outbursts can be a sign that they are not completely over the relationship and are still processing their feelings.

3. Interest in your life

Showing a continued interest in your life, your achievements, or your day-to-day activities can be a sign that they still care. 

If they make an effort to stay updated about your life or reach out to discuss significant events, it might mean they are looking for a connection or reason to stay involved in your life. This can especially be the case if your ex wants to talk, as it shows a desire to maintain communication.

4. Reminiscing about good times

When conversations often drift towards happy memories or shared experiences from your relationship, it may indicate that your ex is clinging to the past. Nostalgia can be a powerful emotion, and their focus on positive memories could be a sign they miss what you both had together.

5. Avoiding finality in conversations

If your ex avoids having conversations that would lead to finality or closure, it could be a sign they are not ready to completely let go. This might include avoiding discussions about returning belongings, finalizing mutual decisions, or talking about the future without each other.

6. Keeping your items

Holding onto your belongings, especially items of personal or sentimental value, can be a sign they are not ready to detach from the relationship fully. This behavior can indicate a desire to maintain a physical connection or a reluctance to accept the end of the relationship.

7. Physical proximity

Attempts to stay physically close, such as trying to meet up, “accidentally” running into you in places you frequent, or hanging out in your shared social circles, could indicate they’re struggling with the distance.

This behavior might show their desire to maintain a presence in your life, suggesting they may not be ready to move on completely, reflecting the mixed message when an ex tells you to move on.

To learn whether you should stay or leave a relationship, watch this video:

FAQs

Navigating post-breakup scenarios often involve deciphering mixed signals and understanding complex emotions, especially when an ex tells you to move on. Here are brief insights into some common questions regarding ex-partners and moving on, including the dynamics of why exes come back when you’ve moved on.

• Did my ex really move on?

If your ex avoids contact, seems genuinely happy without you, or is involved in a new relationship, these can be signs they have moved on. A true indication of moving on is emotional detachment and a focus on building a life that doesn’t include you in a romantic context, embodying what ‘move on’ means.

• Can I get my ex back if he told me to move on?

Regaining a relationship after being told to move on is challenging and depends on the context and underlying reasons. 

Respect their wishes initially, focus on self-improvement, and give them space. If there’s still a connection and mutual feelings, there might be a chance, but it requires honest communication and understanding from both sides.

• What should I do when my ex wants me back?

When an ex expresses a desire to reconcile, first assess your own feelings and the reasons for the breakup. Consider if the issues that led to the split have been resolved or can be worked through. 

Seek clarity about their intentions and ensure open, honest communication before deciding whether to give the relationship another chance.

• How do you know if your ex is not over you?

Signs your ex is not over you include frequent attempts to communicate, an interest in your personal life, emotional reactions to your social media posts, or trying to evoke jealousy. 

Other indicators are reminiscing about the past, reluctance to return personal items, and seeking reasons to meet or talk to you. This behavior can be particularly perplexing when you’re trying to understand, “Why do exes come back when you move on?”

Final thoughts

The emphasis is on personal growth and emotional well-being. Regardless of your ex’s intentions or mixed signals, the primary focus should be on your own healing journey. 

Moving on is not merely about leaving the past behind; it’s an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. This phase, albeit challenging, is a chance to build resilience and embrace future possibilities with a stronger, more self-aware perspective.

Dionne Eleanor concludes with:

Moving on isn’t just a matter of time; it’s a matter of how you use that time for your own transformation.

Ultimately, the journey of understanding what does moving on mean is as much about finding peace within yourself as it is about navigating the complexities of past relationships.