10 Signs You’re In A Fantasy Relationship and How to Let it Go

When it comes to choosing the right type of relationship, it’s hard to know where to start. The right relationship can be the most important thing in our lives, so choosing the right one is important. 

But what is a fantasy bond? Fantasy relationships are a type of non-relational romantic relationship in which one person is the subject, and the other is the fantasy. Fantasy relationships occur when one person creates an idealized version of a relationship that doesn’t align with reality.

Let’s learn more about this type of relationship.

What is a fantasy relationship?

A fantasy relationship is an imaginary or unrealistic connection between two people. It may involve an idealized version of someone, an exaggerated belief in the potential for a romantic relationship, or a one-sided infatuation.

In a fantasy relationship, one person may project their desires onto another without considering their actual feelings or intentions. It can be an escape from reality, providing a temporary sense of fulfillment, but ultimately it is not a healthy or sustainable way to form a genuine connection with someone. 

For those who find solace in a fantasy relationship, it can provide a temporary escape from the rigors of reality, offering a sense of fulfillment that may be missing in their daily life. However, such relationships are not sustainable, nor are they healthy. 

It is important to recognize when you are engaging in a fantasy relationship and to work towards building healthy relationships based on mutual respect, communication, and realistic expectations.

What is the difference between real love and fantasy?

Real love and fantasy are often confused, but they have distinct differences. Here are some of the key characteristics that set them apart.

A. Real Love:

• Is based on mutual respect, trust, and communication
• Involves sacrifice and compromise for the benefit of the relationship
• Involves accepting someone for who they are, including their flaws and imperfections
• Grows stronger with time and experiences shared together
• Requires effort and commitment from both partners
• It can be both joyful and challenging but ultimately fulfilling
• Involves facing and overcoming problems together as a team
• Is grounded in reality and acknowledges the challenges and struggles of life
• Involves a deep emotional and physical connection with another person

B. Fantasy:

• It is often idealized and unrealistic
• It can be based on superficial or shallow qualities in a person
• Involves infatuation and attraction rather than a deep emotional connection
• Often involves the projection of one’s desires and fantasies onto another person
• It can be one-sided and based on unrequited love
• It is often short-lived and fleeting
• Involves little or no sacrifice or compromise
• It can be based on unrealistic expectations of the perfect partner and relationship
• Involves avoidance of real-life problems and challenges.

10 signs you’re in a fantasy relationship

A relationship can feel magical and exciting at the start, but as time goes on, it’s important to ensure that it’s grounded in reality. Fantasy relationships can be alluring but can also be harmful in the long run. 

Here are 10 signs you live in a fantasy relationship:

1. You ignore red flags

In a fantasy relationship, you might overlook behavior or traits that would be major warning signs in a healthy relationship. This could include things like inconsistency, lack of communication, or controlling behavior.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, further highlights,

This can include any red flags that you are noticing but might decide to ignore.

2. You idealize your partner

In a fantasy relationship, you might put your partner on a pedestal, believing they are perfect. This can be dangerous because it sets unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment when your partner inevitably falls short of those expectations.

3. You’re more in love with the idea of the relationship than the person

In a fantasy relationship, you might be more enamored with the idea of being in a relationship than you are with your actual partner. This can make you feel like you’re not connecting with your partner on a deeper level.

4. You rely on your partner for your happiness

In a fantasy relationship, you might believe your partner is responsible for your happiness. This can be dangerous because it puts an immense amount of pressure on your partner and can lead to feelings of resentment if they’re unable to meet those expectations.

5. You have an unrealistic idea of what the future holds

In a fantasy relationship, you might have an idealized idea of what the future holds. You might believe that everything will be perfect and you’ll live happily ever after. 

This can be dangerous because it sets unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment if things don’t work out as planned.

6. You’re not comfortable discussing difficult topics

In a fantasy relationship, you might avoid discussing difficult topics, such as money or family issues.

Maggie Martinez notes that,

This can be dangerous because it can lead to unresolved issues that can build up over time and eventually lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

7. You don’t have a sense of your own identity

In a fantasy relationship, you might feel like you’ve lost touch with your identity. You might prioritize your partner’s needs over your own, and you might feel like you need to figure out who you are.

8. You avoid conflict at all costs

In fantasy love, you might avoid conflict at all costs. This can be dangerous because it can lead to unresolved issues that can build up over time and eventually lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

9. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells

In a fantasy relationship, you might feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner. You might feel like you have to be perfect all the time to avoid upsetting your partner. This can be dangerous because it can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress.

10. You don’t feel like you can be yourself around your partner

In a fantasy relationship, you might feel like you can’t be yourself around your partner. You might feel like you have to act a certain way to please your partner, and you might not feel comfortable expressing your true thoughts and feelings.

10 ways to deal with fantasy relationships

Being in a fantasy relationship can be harmful and detrimental to your well-being. It’s important to recognize when you’re in a fantasy relationship and take steps to address the issue. Here are 10 ways to deal with a fantasy relationship:

1. Recognize that you’re in a fantasy relationship

The first step to dealing with a fantasy relationship is recognizing that you’re in one. This can be difficult because it often involves admitting that the relationship isn’t healthy or fulfilling. Once you acknowledge the problem, you can take steps to address it.

2. Be honest with yourself and your partner

It’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and expectations. If you’re not getting what you need from the relationship, it’s important to communicate that to your partner.

3. Set realistic expectations

If you are in love with a fantasy relationship, it’s common to have unrealistic expectations. It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your partner. This might involve adjusting your expectations and accepting your partner for who they are rather than who you want them to be.

Related Reading: 10 Sure Signs to Tackle Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships

4. Focus on the present

In a fantasy relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of the future. It’s important to focus on the present and enjoy the moment. This can help you connect with your partner on a deeper level and appreciate the relationship for what it is.

5. Get support

Dealing with a fantasy relationship can be challenging and emotional. It’s important to get support from friends, family, or a therapist. Having someone to talk to can help you process your emotions and gain perspective on the situation.

Maggie Martinez notes that,

6. Practice self-care

Dealing with emotional fantasizing can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s important to prioritize self-care and take time to do things that make you feel good. This might involve exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.

Know what Jen Oliver has to say about self-love:

7. Be open to change

In a fantasy relationship, it’s common to resist change. It’s important to be open to change and willing to take risks. This might involve ending the relationship or making changes to the way you approach the relationship.

8. Develop a sense of your own identity

In a fantasy relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your own identity. It’s important to develop a sense of your own identity and prioritize your own needs and interests. This can help you feel more confident and fulfilled in the relationship.

9. Focus on communication

Communication is key in any relationship. Discuss your feelings, expectations, and any areas where reality might not match your imagination. This can help bridge emotional gaps.

10. Take action

Dealing with a fantasy relationship requires action. This might involve ending the relationship, seeking relationship counseling, or making changes to the way you approach the relationship. It’s important to take action and make changes that will lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

FAQs

Fantasy relationships could do more harm than good. Know more about it below:

• Is it healthy to fantasize about a relationship?

Occasional fantasies can be harmless and even beneficial for understanding your desires. Fantasies can be a way of exploring one’s desires and enhancing sexual arousal, which can lead to a more fulfilling sex life with a partner. 

However, if fantasies start to replace real-life intimacy or become an obsession, it can be detrimental to the relationship. Communication and mutual respect are key to ensuring that fantasies don’t become a source of tension or conflict in a relationship.

• Why do people have fantasy relationships?

People have fantasy relationships for a variety of reasons. People often develop fantasy relationships as a way to cope with unmet needs, such as emotional intimacy or validation.

Fantasies can also be a way of exploring one’s desires and fantasies in a safe and controlled environment. For some, fantasy relationships can be a way of coping with feelings of loneliness or isolation. 

However, it’s important to recognize that fantasy relationships are not a substitute for real-life relationships and can’t provide the same level of emotional intimacy or fulfillment. Fantasy relationships can provide temporary comfort, but they lack the depth and authenticity of real-life connections.

• How do you let go of a fantasy relationship?

Here are some tips on how to let go of a fantasy relationship:

1. A. Acknowledge that the relationship is a fantasy and not based on reality
2. Identify the reasons why you became attached to the fantasy relationship
3. Take responsibility for your own emotional well-being and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist
4. Cut off contact with the person or things that trigger thoughts of the fantasy relationship
5. Focus on building real-life relationships and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment
6. Practice self-care, such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits, to help you cope with the loss of the fantasy relationship
7. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through the process of letting go of a fantasy relationship.

Takeaway

In conclusion, being in a fantasy relationship can be harmful and detrimental to your well-being. It’s important to recognize when you’re in a fantasy relationship and take steps to address the issue.