The last thing you would expect in a relationship is the flow of negative feelings or energy in any form. No matter how careful you are, it isn’t easy to judge one’s habits and reactions during the initial few years of the relationship.
During such times, everything seems like a dream-come-true moment. What if you discover that you’re with a clingy boyfriend? How to deal with a clingy boyfriend?
Individualism is one of the prominent reasons why you fall in love with someone. You adore their habits and how they stand out in the crowd. Amongst other traits, you surely can’t negotiate with dependency.
Indeed, dependency comes along in a relationship, no matter how careful you’re, but no one wants to babysit someone. Let’s look at the definition and how you can identify a clingy boyfriend before getting too deep into it.
What is the definition of a ‘clingy boyfriend’?
There is a thin line between being caring and being clingy.
When you’re caring, you give them space to breathe in. You don’t push yourself on your partner and try to get their attention in the worst way possible. Besides, when you’re caring, you take out time from your schedule to make them feel comfortable.
Caring defines giving space to breathe in, whereas clinginess means suffocating the other person by pushing them to the wall.
A clingy person is also called too needy. What are some signs that someone is too emotionally needy? Watch this video to know more.
Clingy boyfriend signs
You can know how to deal with a clingy boyfriend when you know the signs of clingy behavior.
Since you’re clear with the meaning of clingy boyfriend, let’s quickly look at how you can identify them within time and take preventive measures. If you have thought, “my boyfriend is too clingy,” you must read through these signs.
If your boyfriend is clingy, he is dependent on you and would not want you to walk out of the relationship at all. They want you there with them, physically, digitally, or in any other way possible.
If you’re not there physically, they will get hold of you through the phone. They need you. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, where you are, with whom you’re, and even if you’re having some ‘me’ time.
Wondering how to spot a clingy boyfriend? Observe their habits.
They leave certain signs and give away hints about their behaviors. They will stalk you on social media and will start asking irrelevant questions. They will bring topics from your past and relationships you had previously. They won’t hesitate to cross the line of personal space.
4. Ditching their friends
Clingy boyfriend will eventually ditch their friends and close circles.
They believe you’re their world and start tagging with you wherever you go. They don’t care if they’re invited or not. All they know is you both should be treated as one rather than two individuals. This might sound romantic. Instead, it’s creepy. You haven’t signed up for a boyfriend who is too clingy.
5. No self-interest
A clingy boyfriend will not only ditch his friends but will also let go of his hobbies or interests. They will start following you. They will gradually adapt to your activities and will make them his hobby.
He strongly believes that you both are one and should have similar hobbies and activities. Creepy, isn’t it?
Just casually checking in on you in one thing but constantly wanting to know where you are or where you are going is one of the signs of a clingy boyfriend.
While this also shows possessiveness, your boyfriend may not necessarily doubt you. That is when they do not believe you when you tell them where you are or even ask for proof.
But just asking you about your whereabouts means your boyfriend is clingy.
7. Needs constant validation
Another sign that your boyfriend is clingy is when they need constant validation.
Do they keep asking you if they look alright?
Do they always need compliments, not just from you but also from other people?
A need for constant validation could be a sign of a clingy boyfriend.
8. He’s not a fan of you socializing in his absence
Does he feel left out or even throw a tantrum when you socialize or hang out without him?
If yes, then the chances are that you are dating a clingy boyfriend. He might call you a lot when you are outside or at an event, or partying with your friends. Not only is this a sign of a clingy boyfriend, but it can also get annoying.
9. He is very jealous
A clingy boyfriend is also a jealous boyfriend.
He might dislike your guy friends, work colleagues, or anyone close to you. This jealousy may not be restricted to people from the gender you are attracted to.
If you spend too much time with your family or friends, he might also not like them and may feel jealous of them.
10. He does not have a life beyond you
A very vital characteristic of a clingy boyfriend is when he does not have a life beyond you. He does not socialize without you, has no hobbies, and does not care to do anything if you are not around.
A clingy boyfriend makes you his whole world in the wrong way. You might also start feeling responsible when he does so, which can be annoying and too much to deal with.
How to deal with a clingy boyfriend
It’s difficult to answer, ‘Why is my boyfriend so clingy?’ There could be endless reasons, but you can still find a solution to deal with them. Listed below are some tips for you to handle your clingy boyfriend.
1. Be bluntly honest
There could be various reasons for him to be clingy.
There could be a possibility that he is not at all clingy, but your disinterest in him is making you feel he is one. Whatever the matter, you’ve to be bluntly honest with it.
One of the ways to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to accept that you’re not interested in him anymore. Convey the message to him. And, if you think he is, seek help and find a professional way to deal with him.
We know that everyone needs ‘me’ time. Maybe your clingy boyfriend needs to become more familiar with the concept or is just ignoring it. In either case, you must introduce ‘me’ time in your relationship vocabulary and tell him when you’re enjoying a personal moment.
3. Reintroduce individualism
Your clingy boyfriend may have forgotten about individualism.
It’s time you reintroduce this to him. One of the ways to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to encourage him to do what he likes and meet his friends. Reintroduce him to his friends and family and make him understand the importance of this concept in a relationship.
Take baby steps, so you don’t sabotage your beautiful relationship with him.
4. Set boundaries
Having personal boundaries is a must in a relationship. If you think you’re losing personal boundaries, make him understand.
How to set boundaries with a clingy boyfriend?
Tell him why you both need to set personal boundaries and never cross them. It might take a while, but it’s for good.
5. Address his insecurities
One of the reasons for his clinginess could be his insecurities. Have you ever given it a thought? If he is going through some insecurity, then it’s a must for you to address him. So, sit with him, establish a conversation and try to know his insecurities. Try to address them as much as you can.
6. Establish trust
Trust is not built in a day. However, you may need to establish trust with little things over time when you have to deal with a clingy boyfriend.
You can indulge in some trust-building exercises with your boyfriend. Relationship counseling or couples therapy may also help.
7. Tell him he is loved
Just reassuring your partner once in a while is a good idea, anyway. However, when your boyfriend is clingy or sometimes acts clingy, just telling them that they are loved and cared for can do the trick.
It may help them get over the insecurities that make them act clingy in the first place.
8. Keep healthy communication
Keeping healthy communication is very important. Healthy communication not only means understanding each other and listening to them consciously, but it also means restricting communication where required.
If your boyfriend is clingy, they may want to talk to you 24×7. However, explaining to them how this is not only impossible but also very unhealthy may help.
9. Encourage them to have a life
A life beyond your partner is vital for a healthy relationship. Please encourage them to have a healthy life beyond you. Indulging in hobbies, hanging out with just their friends, or exploring life beyond you can also help them become less clingy.
10. Explain the importance of space
Sometimes all it takes to deal with a clingy boyfriend is understanding the importance of space in a healthy relationship. Sit down with them and communicate how important space is to you and the relationship.
Tell them the pros of giving space to each other and the cons of not doing the same. This may help them understand your point of view.
Why is my boyfriend so clingy all of a sudden?
Boyfriends can become clingy when they feel threatened or insecure. You may have joined a new job where you have a lot of male colleagues. This can make them feel insecure and cause them to act clingy.
Similarly, situations such as when you join a new gym or even move cities can make your boyfriend feel like they will be replaced or lose their importance in your life, causing them to become clingy.
A clingy boyfriend may not be that much trouble, but if you like personal space or need alone time to recharge, it can be difficult to deal with one.
Certain situations, such as lots of calling, or wanting your attention all the time, can also get annoying. However, you must communicate clearly, and tell them what bothers you.
Also, tell them the disadvantages of being clingy and how it can adversely affect the relationship.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.