10 Signs You Could Be in a Forced Relationship

Being in a forced relationship can be emotionally and psychologically exhausting. One of the classical signs of a forced relationship is that one or both individuals feel imprisoned or pressured into the relationship. 

To keep the other partner while forcing a relationship, one partner may employ deception, threats, or emotional blackmail. Forcing a relationship can cause mental and physical trauma to the victim, leaving them feeling imprisoned and powerless. If you’re the victim, you don’t want to be in this position for long. 

In this article, we delve into the dynamics of a forced relationship, exploring how it manifests, its impact on the victim, and ways to break free from its grasp. 

What is a forced relationship?

Before we get into diagnosing the symptoms of this unpleasant interaction, let’s clarify what a forced relationship is. 

According to popular research on forced marriages and relationships, many forced relationships and marriages had witnessed intimate partner violence and sexual assault. This is because the feelings in these scenarios are usually one-sided.

Forcing a relationship to function is like forcing a cat to speak. It will meow and purr. But it won’t be able to hold a meaningful conversation with you. 

A forced relationship is one in which one or both parties cling to the concept of being together even when they both realize that they’re better off apart.

10 signs you may be in a forced relationship

Do you suspect that you’re in a forced relationship? You may not be able to tell for sure unless you see Some red-flag signs. So, what are the signs of forcing a relationship? Keep reading to find out.

1. Fights and disputes are never forgotten

“In a forced relationship or marriage, you’ll find yourself arguing over and over about the same things. Most times, the issues are so trivial they could even be considered ridiculous.

Almost every day, the same conflicts will take place without a solution or settlement in sight. You and your partner will unintentionally say harsh things to one another as tempers fly. 

Related Reading: 10 Reasons Why Fighting Is Good in a Relationship

2. You feel insecure

Spark or no spark, if you find yourself in a forceful relationship or forcing a relationship with someone, you may end up feeling like you constantly have to censor yourself or overthink your words and actions. You are never really free to be your true self in these relationships. 

If a relationship requires you to walk on eggshells at all times, it may not be worth your time as insecurity is one of the major signs you’re forcing your relationship.

3. Negativity

One of the signs that you’re being forced into a relationship is that it will be fraught with negativity.  Under these conditions, there will be envy, suspicion, manipulation, and gaslighting. 

Outsiders may even readily see that something is amiss with your relationship, no matter how hard you try to mask what’s happening. 

Related Reading: 4 Tips on How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts in Relationships

4. No genuine affection

Another symptom of forcing a relationship is that there’d be no true attachment between the both of you.

According to Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, LCSW

In a healthy relationship, you should have a strong bond, so a lack of affection is a red flag.

While you may put up the happy couple appearance when you’re in public, when the two of you are alone, you will feel little connection to one another.

5. You are on your own

Always feeling lonely or unsupported could be among the symptoms of forcing a relationship with someone.

Among many other things, relationships provide companionship and a sense of security. When you’re with someone you love, you know you can take on the world with them at your side. 

This is not the case with forced relationships. 

In a forced relationship, it feels like the two of you are more like roommates, instead of lovers. You seem to drift apart and your interactions are stunted and far in between. 

In a forced relationship, you may not even be able to count on your partner. What if they disappoint you in the nick of time? 

6. No respect

Another proof of a forced relationship is when there’s a lack of respect.

Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz highlights that:

A lack of respect leads to contempt, which is a relationship killer.

It may not be pronounced, but when your partner keeps implying disrespect and disloyalty, you may want to reconsider your stance. 

For example, do they take joy in throwing you under the bus every time you’re in public? Are they quick to shun you or do they do their best to protect you from harmful jabs? 

Take cognizance of how your partner treats you at home and in the street. It says a lot about the state of your relationship. 

7. No boundaries

Someone who forces you to adore them will not respect your boundaries. They will violate your privacy and prevent you from having any alone time. There will no longer be any sense of uniqueness, and you will soon feel trapped in the relationship.

Again, does your partner try to pry into your phone when they think you’re not looking? Do they trust your judgment and sense of character? Do they gaslight you and make you feel like they’re always right? 

Those may be your signs. 

Related Reading: 15 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries in Relationships

Want to learn how to set personal boundaries in relationships? Watch this perceptive video:

8. Control over your finances

Consider this an expression of the previous point. If your partner consciously tries to take control of your finances (even when they’ve done little or nothing to improve your financial status), you may want to look again. 

A loving partner should be able to come to terms with your independence and give you the space you need to control your finances. They’ll be there to offer advice when you need it, but they won’t try to take your financial independence away from you. 

9. Sexual coercion 

Another sign that you’re forcefully in a relationship is your sex life. Since you may be there against your wish, there’s a possibility that you may not always be down to have sex with your partner. 

To make up for the ‘lack of action,’ they may decide to get some elsewhere or forcefully coerce you into sexual acts you don’t consent to. 

No matter how it is painted, sexual abuse is a punishable offense. Consider seeking external help if you become the victim of sexual abuse in your relationship.

10. Physical threats

A forced relationship includes physical aggression and threats, verbal abuse, sexual coercion, financial control, and isolation. When your partner constantly hits you or threatens to enforce compliance by harming your body, consider walking out of the relationship as soon as possible. 

How to get out of a forced relationship: 5 ways

Leaving a forced relationship might be difficult, but you must prioritize your safety and well-being. Here are five suggestions to assist you get out of a forced relationship:

1. Seek assistance

How to stop forcing a relationship? Seek external support. To discuss your issue and get guidance on how to leave the relationship, contact a trustworthy friend or family member, a support group, or a professional therapist.

2. Create a strategy

Make a strategy for leaving the relationship, which should include locating a secure place to stay, gathering crucial papers and possessions, and establishing a support network. When you’re determined to stop forcing relationships, it’s important to have a plan for it.

3. Terminate all forms of communication

Depending on the intensity of your relationship, you may be tempted to get back to an abuser after leaving the relationship. You don’t want that. 

To reduce the chance of reprisal, break off all communication with your abuser after quitting the relationship.

Related Reading: 10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships

4. Obtain a restraining order

Consider obtaining a restraining order to legally protect yourself from your abuser if required.

5. Look after yourself

Recovering from episodes like these requires time and absolute self-care. Prioritize your self-care by getting counseling, engaging in self-care activities, and making time for yourself.

Some common questions

Feeling forced in a relationship can be distressing, and it’s essential to address it early on. Here are some frequently asked questions to guide you toward a healthier relationship.

• Is it possible to force yourself to love someone?

It is impossible to make oneself love someone, even though you can try. Love is a feeling that grows organically and cannot be faked. Frustration, hatred, and dissatisfaction can result from attempting to force oneself to love someone.

• How to stop forcing yourself on someone romantically?

Respect their limits, listen to their needs, speak freely and honestly, be conscious of your conduct, and concentrate on creating a real connection rather than attempting to force a relationship. This is how you deter yourself from forcing someone to love you.

Base your relationship on mutual love and respect

Healthy relationships are built on boundaries, communication, and a true connection. Emphasize well-being and an emotional connection all through your relationship, instead of working hard to connect with someone you feel nothing for or someone who feels nothing for you.

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