Everything in a marriage is not as easy, simple and happy as many people envision. While marriage can be peaceful, happiness and pure love, the other side of marriage can be devastating. A lot of problems encountered in marital life can usually be avoided and fixed with time and effort from both parties. When you are trying to battle common marriage problems and find solutions to fix them, look at both individuals in the relationship instead of blaming one person for everything. Here are 10 common marital problems and signs that many people encounter in life.
1. Unclear or poor boundaries
Unless you set boundaries, you and your partner will never know when you have crossed the line until it is too late. Speak with your spouse to set boundaries. These boundaries need to be set from both sides so the terms and agreements you agree to are fair. You can sit with your spouse and come up with boundaries that you both agree upon. You can also write down your boundaries on a sheet of paper and compare them when it is time to talk. It is important that you both agree upon the terms. If there are any issues with the boundaries the other person in the relationship wants to set, it will need to be resolved immediately.
2. Being selfish
One thing you cannot do in a marriage is be selfish. Some partners become distant and separate themselves from one another due to other issues in the relationship. Because of this, it can make one or both persons in the relationship bitter and selfish. In order for a relationship to work, both parties have to be there for each other, regardless of whether it is financially, emotionally, mentally or physically. Relationships are a lot more demanding and require more time and effort than people originally thought.
3. Being disrespectful
Disrespect comes in many different forms. In a marriage, these circumstances are much different than a friendship or any other type of relationship. In a relationship, especially a marriage, there needs to be acceptance and appreciation. Too often, these two instances are not present in the relationship. Other things that should be present in the relationship are admiration and emotional safety. These too are not present as much as they should be within a relationship.
When it comes to being disrespectful, there are quite a few situations that can occur. A lot of the time, a spouse tries to change their spouse’s beliefs, thoughts or feelings about a particular situation. They try to do this by lecturing them, threatening them or ridiculing them. In severe cases, a person will try to brainwash their spouse. The ultimate form in disrespect is insulting a spouse’s intelligence, character or values. Issues with these three instances can cause a relationship to quickly come to an end.
4. Anger and rage
Anger and rage are two things that can also destroy a relationship or cause problems within the marriage. Everyone is not the same and do not think alike. A spouse may or may not handle their anger well and it could result in rage. Everyone will experience anger in their lifetime, but how anger is handled is the bigger picture.
Couples will argue and disagree with one another, but a spouse who does not know how to control their anger will try to assert themselves or prove a point by using rage. Rage is anger that has manifested and takes being angry or mad to a level of no return. Rage can result in fighting and frequent outbursts, making the spouse and relationship difficult to deal with. Rage can also be dangerous. A lot of people use rage and outbursts to control their spouse by making them afraid. Sometimes, the spouse who is very angry gets the results they desire. In other situations, such anger and rage can cause the other spouse to withdraw and become secluded.
5. Lack of emotional intimacy
Lack of emotional intimacy is another instance that is a common problem in marriages. One spouse may be looking for affection or some indication that they are loved and appreciated and the other spouse does not provide it whether they are able to, unable to or simply choose not to. Emotional intimacy includes things such as, goals, happiness, struggles and feelings. When these things are not shared between two spouses, there is a lack and can cause a lot of different problems. Like anger and rage, lack of emotional intimacy can cause a spouse to withdraw and stay to themselves or cause them to seek what they are lacking elsewhere.
6. Having separate lives
It is difficult to be in a marriage when both spouses are leading separate lives. Married couples do not have to smother each other with their presence, but they should be involved in activities and spend time together whenever they can. Quality time is important within a relationship because it is a time to bond and get to know their spouse more than they did before.