Not being in the same zip code shouldn’t be a barrier if you’ve developed a deep connection with someone and feel you’re falling in love with them.
The idea of pursuing that to the next level, perhaps marriage isn’t beyond the scope of reason or shouldn’t be, should it?
It is still possible to enjoy a thriving, fulfilling partnership with a mate even when you only interact once or twice every so many months.
Figuring out how to turn that long-distance relationship into a marriage that’s healthy will take considerable planning, much effort, and compromise. Still, the goal is always to maintain that connection when it’s impossible to be together physically.
Is marriage becoming common in long-distance relationships?
It’s difficult to determine an exact number of what percent of long-distance relationships get married? The statistics are vague. Long-distance relationships are there and appear to be more prevalent than in past generations, but these take varied forms.
One person could be attending college in another state. Maybe there’s a partner in the military, or each is in different service branches. With people working globally in today’s market, one mate could work with a company in another country and need to travel there frequently.
People are becoming comfortable with the concept of living apart and learning to do distance healthfully- thanks to technology. With digital innovations, living apart can be nearly as comfortable as living in the same space.
That means it’s quite possible and becoming common to have a long-distance relationship marriage and still ensure a thriving partnership. Perhaps at some point in the next few generations, more people will live apart than those who live together. It’s a very distinct possibility.
Here are professional dating tips for sustaining a long-distance partnership:
15 tips on turning a long-distance relationship into marriage
Trust develops when a couple perfects their long-distance dating, changing to an exclusive, committed partnership with ease. From that point, the connection deepens, and the bond establishes despite living apart.
Turning long-distance relationship into marriage is relatively the next anticipated step when the partnership progresses in this way.
What steps do couples need to take to ensure their relationship is healthy enough to make this serious move, and how can they maintain the connection? Let’s look at some tips.
1. Set the intentions
When working on methods for how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage, a first step is establishing individual expectations for the partnership.
The suggestion is that you need to put forth more effort with a marriage in which you live apart. That’s not necessarily true. In either situation, living together or separately, it takes significant work from both people.
The different scenarios, however, require unique effort unto themselves. This is where you need to plan to determine how you’ll work out the logistics of the day-to-day to ensure you have that quality time.
Marriage after long-distance relationship is not unlike marriage after what would be considered real-time dating in that people become comfortable. Eventually, life gets in the way, and the marriage gets put on the back burner with less and less time and effort put into the connection.
Set alerts or make a notation on the calendar to remember everything, even if it’s to text a good morning message. It’s easy to wake late in the morning and rush to work without any thought except for getting there.
But once you’re settled and can look at the calendar, that simple reminder will remind you to reach out.
3. Deepen the connection instead of scratching the surface
The idea of marriage with your long-distance beau was based around establishing a connection and deepening your bond. That needs to continue but will be difficult if you merely text and call with varied small talk.
Conversations should involve consolation, in-depth discussions on the obstacles you’re experiencing, and what you see for the future, like goals, hopes, and dreams. It’s important to let your mate be a support system for you and vice versa.
Learning how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage involves sharing what’s happening in the day-to-day. That will mean opening up the calendars to find out what the other person has going on.
You can also sit down each evening and work to create one calendar that depicts the schedule for each of you. That connects you further to the other person’s life.
5. Respect and appreciation for the other person’s time are vital
In the same way that people living in the same area wouldn’t stand each other up for a date or ignore phone calls or text messages, you should avoid doing so as a long-distance partner.
You’ll know you can take your long-distance relationship to marriage when the two of you develop respect and appreciation for each other’s time.
That means showing up for the video calls, answering texts timely, being front and center on “date night,” basically making your partner a priority.
There are numerous ways to turn a long-distance relationship into a marriage, but one is to enjoy the moments you have together.
You could be on a video dinner date, texting good morning messages. The important thing is that you put the extra time and thought into those moments to make them special.
It’s genuinely not much different than if you were involved in a long-term commitment and needed to make that extra effort to maintain the spark. It’s merely a unique situation and a different way of sustaining it.
When discerning how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage, you’ll need to be able to maintain the same passion and excitement that you’ve been able to manage while dating and transfer that into a more significant commitment.
It’s a good idea to consider varied surprises along the lines of periodic visits, small gifts like tickets for something you can go to together, a gratitude letter expressing why you’re grateful for them, and having flowers delivered.
You can do almost anything unexpected that will make them fall in love and feel your presence.
When you aren’t sure how to get married in a long-distance relationship, there’s no shame in expressing sadness and frustration at the situation. Honesty is always appreciated and respected by a partner.
And that’s genuinely the best way to come to a solution. Communication is vital in resolving every issue, and verbally sharing is essential when you can’t be in the same space.
Listen to this podcast with details on thriving long-distance relationships with Dr. Morgan Cutlip.
9. Sex needs to be prioritized
Cultivating the spark is critical to sustaining a partnership that translates into a healthy marriage. That will mean you need to be creative with naughty photos, sex via video chat, and any effort that will fulfill and satisfy both needs.
All sex lives are unique. It will be a matter of navigating different options to see which you like and what works better for both of you while you’re separated.
10. Make it a date
You might not be in the same vicinity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress the part when you have time together.
Sadly, even people who become exclusive in long-term relationships grow comfortable and stop putting forth effort in their appearance for their mates. That doesn’t need to happen, nor does it need to happen long distance
If you have a virtual date, dress the part from head to toe. If it’s a dinner date, set the table with candles and the best dinnerware or go to a favorite restaurant.
And on movie night, pop the popcorn and dim the lights. This is how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage.
Many times a “bucket list” is something people hope to accomplish one day but don’t believe they’ll have the opportunity.
When figuring out how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage, one of your bucket lists is to accomplish a thriving, successful healthy union that surpasses expectations.
And you should take that bucket list into the marriage with you as a shared list that you continue to add only things you indeed intend to do as a couple. It will act almost as a beacon of things to come.
12. Enjoy a good book
It’s crucial to have good topics of conversation, deep discussions. If you enjoy some of the same interests, perhaps you can find a book you can read simultaneously and discuss the details.
13. Creativity is essential when dating long distance
As a long-distance couple looking at how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage, the suggestion is to ensure the creativity that musters while dating continues into the marriage.
When you “go out,” each occasion should be unique and different. You can develop a hobby you share or take a class, go to the cinema while on video chat, or even fall asleep together on Zoom.
14. How well do you know your partner
Play games like “10 questions” or other related options routinely in an effort to learn new things and grow more intimate with your partner. You can never discover too much, plus have a good time while you’re at it. This will prepare you for your foray into marriage.
15. Work on developing who you are
No one can entirely give themself to another person in marriage or otherwise if they’re not fulfilled in themself. It’s vital that both people considering marriage develop who they are as individuals during their time apart and establish a sense of self.
Even though there might come a time when you’ll come together, you’ll still want a semblance of independence. It’s vital to know who that person is, have your own interests and hobbies, a career that satisfies you, and separate friends.
A partner should be an enhancement to a life you’ve established. They should not complete you.
Figuring out how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage is done with relative ease in the digital world we live in today. It’s also a bit more common in this generation than it was even just a couple of decades ago and will likely grow more so.
It wouldn’t be surprising if it becomes more the norm than it is for people to share space as more time passes.
Just engaged or contemplating marriage? Discover how to transition smoothly into the next phase of your relationship with Marriage.com's Pre-Marriage Course. Begin your incredible journey with this guide designed by experts and lay a strong foundation for your path of togetherness - forever!
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.