What Is Promiscuity in Marriage? Reasons & Effects

Promiscuity is one of the concepts in sexual relationships that people often mistake for other terms like infidelity, etc. When it comes to answering the question of what promiscuity is, it refers to the act of having sexual relationships with several people. 

So, let’s learn about promiscuity in marriage and the common reasons why married couples may even engage in this act. You will also know about some of the effects of human sexual promiscuity and the common examples or forms of promiscuity.

What does promiscuity mean in marriage?

Concerning the question of “what is promiscuity,” it refers to the state of having many sexual partners and is not restricted to the person’s primary spouse. 

Some common examples and signs of promiscuity in marriage are one-night stands, sleeping with people of different genders, having multiple partners at the same time, etc.

One of the reasons why promiscuity happens in marriage is when a person’s primary partner does not give them the needed sexual satisfaction. Another reason might be when they don’t get the required level of affection and care from their partners.

According to Danica Mitchell, a sex therapist:

Ethical non-monogamy is a thing. Some people openly choose to have sexual relationships with others because it feels right for them and their relationship and does not stem from unmet needs.

Granted, just because a relationship is open doesn’t necessarily mean it is promiscuous in terms of having many different partners.

5 common examples of promiscuity in marriage

In order to understand more about what promiscuity means, it would be helpful to look at some of the common examples in which it occurs.

1. Many sexual partners

When it comes to knowing more about promiscuity in marriage, it involves having multiple sexual partners. This could mean that the individual has several partners at the same time or more than one sexual partner over a period. 

In some cases, promiscuous individuals with multiple partners might not be emotionally linked to them.

Some of them might conveniently maintain a romantically committed relationship with their sex partners apart from their primary spouse. People with multiple sex partners are more likely to contract diseases than those who stick to one partner.

2. One-night stands

Engaging in a one-night stand is another example of promiscuity in marriage. It is a sexual encounter between two or more individuals with the expectation that there will be no further relations between them.

Some people might opt for a one-night stand, especially when they want to take a break from their partner and try out other bodies. They may want to fulfill their deepest or darkest sexual fantasies that their partner cannot provide. 

When an individual is involved in a one-night stand, it can be termed as infidelity, irrespective of what benefits they are looking to gain from it.

Danica Mitchell highlights that:

It may be infidelity, but also it may not be.

3. Sleeping with people of various genders

Another example that may help you understand the meaning of sexual promiscuity is when the individual sleeps with different people, irrespective of gender or sex.

Pansexuals are sexually and emotionally attracted to people irrespective of their genders. However, this does not mean that they are attracted to everyone. 

On the other hand, people who identify as bisexuals have a romantic or sexual attraction to people of the same and different genders. Pansexuals are attracted to all genders, while Bisexuals are attracted to several genders.

4. Friends with benefits

When it comes to understanding what sexual promiscuity is, friends with benefits is a common example of what it means.

Friends with benefits are two individuals who sensually enjoy each other without being involved in a serious relationship. This means that a married promiscuous wife or husband can have different friends with benefits with whom they engage in sexual activities. 

Being friends with benefits comes with no relationship baggage except sex.

5. Online dating/hookup

Another common example of promiscuity in marriage is online dating or hookup, which is one of the most recent forms of promiscuity that married couples may engage in. Online dating is sometimes called internet dating, and it is a common practice of searching for a sexual or romantic spouse online.

If a married couple engages in online dating/hookup, they might be looking for someone else to fulfill their sexual or romantic needs. When people meet online through different dating platforms, they usually find a way to meet each other physically.

What is the difference between infidelity and promiscuity?

Infidelity and promiscuity are terms related to sexual and romantic relationships, but they describe different behaviors and ethical considerations:

Infidelity refers to the action of being unfaithful or disloyal to a partner with whom one is in a committed relationship. It involves breaking a promise or violating the trust established in the relationship’s boundaries, typically agreed upon by both parties. 

Infidelity can take various forms, including but not limited to physical affairs, emotional affairs, and online relationships that breach the commitment one has made to their partner.

Promiscuity, on the other hand, is characterized by engaging in sexual activities with multiple partners in a manner considered by some as indiscriminate or without commitment. 

It does not inherently involve breaking trust or being unfaithful, as promiscuity can occur within the bounds of arrangements where partners have agreed to non-monogamy or have not established exclusivity in their relationship.

The key difference lies in the context of the relationships and the agreements or understandings between the individuals involved. Infidelity breaches an expectation of exclusivity and fidelity. 

At the same time, promiscuity refers to a pattern of having multiple sexual partners. Depending on the nature of the relationships involved, it does not necessarily imply a breach of trust.

7 reasons why promiscuity happens in marriage

When it comes to promiscuity in marriage, it can cut across different situations and reasons. People can be promiscuous for several reasons, and you will see some common ones.

1. You are not physically satisfied with one sexual partner

When it comes to sexual promiscuity, one of the reasons is when a partner does not feel satisfied having only one sexual partner. They might crave to have more than one sexual partner so that they can satisfy their needs.

Danica Mitchell adds that:

This may be a temporary feature in a long-term relationship where one person desires more novelty, or it may be a more consistent part of someone’s sexual template.

Such people may wonder what it feels like to have one person that satisfies them sexually. In some cases, they might not be emotionally linked to more than one sexual partner but don’t mind exploring sex with different people to achieve physical satisfaction.

2. You just left a monogamous marriage

Another angle to help understand promiscuous meaning is when an individual just exited a monogamous relationship and wants to enjoy their singlehood. Some of them might be open to exploring their sexual fantasies with different people without necessarily getting emotionally attached to them.

They might not be open to entering a relationship anytime soon because they want to savor the experience of being single for some time. Some may not be ready to be committed to anyone because they need their space and sexual freedom.

3. Your partner does not show love and affection

Some couples do not receive the desired level of love and affection from their partners, which leaves them sad and bored in their marriages. This is why some of them may undertake activities that they feel are good for them.

When it comes to promiscuous meaning, it can be defined from the standpoint of when a partner decides to look for other sexual partners because their primary partner doesn’t fulfill their emotional needs.

Hence, when they begin to get that feeling of lack of love and attention, they might consider using promiscuous sex with other people to fight off that feeling.

4. You are not sure of your sexual identity

When it comes to answering the question of what promiscuity is, it becomes easier to understand when you know why it happens in marriages. One of the reasons why promiscuity may happen in a marriage is when they are curious about their true sexual identity.

Such skepticism or doubt might make them open to trying out different sexual partners to establish the truth about their sexual preferences. So, even though they have a sexually fulfilling relationship, they might want to satisfy their curiosity by trying out different sexual partners.

5. If your partner cheats

Another reason why promiscuity may happen in a marriage is when one party cheats and the other spouse wants to take revenge on them. In understanding the question of what promiscuity is, the definition could depend on the context under which it happens.

Some partners may decide to have multiple sexual partners when they discover that their spouse has not been faithful. Usually, such decisions might be taken impulsively because they didn’t know how to handle the situation when they discovered their partner was cheating on them.

6. Seeking emotional connection outside the marriage

At times, individuals may feel emotionally disconnected or underappreciated by their spouse, leading them to seek emotional or physical intimacy from others. This search for emotional validation and connection can drive a person towards promiscuity. 

They might engage in sexual relations with others not just for physical pleasure but to fill an emotional void, seeking understanding, validation, or affection that they feel is missing in their marriage.

7. Thrill-seeking or risk-taking behavior

Some individuals are naturally inclined towards thrill-seeking or engaging in risk-taking behaviors, which can extend into their sexual lives. 

The excitement of engaging in sexual activities with new partners, the risk of getting caught, or the allure of the forbidden can be a powerful motivator for promiscuous behavior. This desire for adrenaline and novelty can lead them to seek multiple partners despite being in a committed marriage.

Danica Mitchell mentions:

While sex addiction isn’t a technical diagnosis, behavior like this could be connected to compulsive sexual behavior.

7 effects that come with human sexual promiscuity

When it comes to the meaning of what is promiscuity, some people might see it as a means to fulfill their sexual needs, amongst other reasons. 

However, it is crucial to learn about the possible effects of human sexual promiscuity so that you can make the right decisions when it comes to sex.

1. Physical health risks

Different research studies have shown that people with a high number of sexual partners are more susceptible to contracting sexually transmitted infections.

The study also showed that sexual promiscuity could increase the chances of contracting HIV/AIDS. Other STIs may be contracted through sexual promiscuity, like HPV, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Pubic Ice, Trichomoniasis, etc. Using protection appropriately can significantly decrease thee risk.

2. It affects the marriage dynamics

When it comes to what is promiscuity, one of the effects that come with it is how it affects the marriage dynamics. If a partner is involved with multiple sex partners, it can affect the relationship with their primary partner.

They might no longer feel the need to spend time with their partner because there are other people in their lives. Additionally, the promiscuous partner may not want to tell their spouse about everything happening in their lives. 

In marriage, the promiscuity definition can also be explained through how it affects spouses when one party has multiple sexual partners.

3. It can make the affected partner depressed or anxious

When promiscuity occurs in marriage, the affected spouse may become anxious or depressed. This means that they might not know what their partner thinks of them because they have other people whom they are sexually linked with.

Some of them might begin to blame themselves for their partner’s inactions, making them anxious or depressed. They may even feel that they are not good enough, which can make them develop low self-esteem and a decline in their confidence level.

To learn more about the connection between multiple sex partners and anxiety, depression, etc., check out this study by Sandhya Ramrakha and other authors. You will learn how people with a high number of partners are likely to experience depression and anxiety.

Danica Mitchell points out:

This is true in both infidelity and non-monogamy, although the impact and communication around it tend to be very different.

4. Financial consequences

Understanding the effects of promiscuity on marriage can help you understand the question of what is promiscuity. When a married partner is involved in a promiscuous relationship, they may have more financial commitments depending on the number of sexual partners involved.

They will need additional funds for date nights, gifts, hotels, vacations, etc. If they happen to divorce their primary spouse, they will still spend a substantial amount of money to reimburse their partner.

In the event of promiscuity in marriage, couples might have to sign in for marriage counseling, which will require them to spend more money during therapy sessions.

5. It affects the children and family

Even though promiscuity in marriage might have some benefits, it can affect the children and family in the long run. Based on the sexual promiscuity definition, the promiscuous partner might not have a good relationship with their children and other members of the family.

The children may not have respect for their promiscuous parents, and some of them may end up behaving like them when they become adults. Similarly, the children might blame the affected partner for pushing their spouse to get sexually involved with multiple partners.

6. Social stigma and isolation

Engaging in promiscuous behaviors can lead to social stigma and isolation, as society often has negative perceptions towards individuals who have multiple sexual partners, primarily if they are known within a community or social circle. 

Such a stigma can result in individuals being ostracized, criticized, or shunned by friends, family, and peers, leading to feelings of loneliness and social isolation. The fear of judgment and the reality of being socially marginalized can significantly impact an individual’s mental health and emotional well-being.

Watch this TED Talk where anthropologist and sexologist Mandy Ronda guides you on moving beyond sexual shame:

7. Erosion of trust and intimacy in relationships

One of the profound effects of sexual promiscuity, especially within the context of a committed relationship or marriage, is the erosion of trust and intimacy between partners. 

The discovery of one partner’s promiscuous behavior can lead to a breakdown in communication, feelings of betrayal, and a loss of emotional and physical intimacy. 

The violated trust is difficult to rebuild and can result in long-lasting damage to the relationship. The affected partner may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and anger, further complicating the possibility of reconciliation and healing.

FAQS

Promiscuity, or engagement in multiple sexual relationships, raises various concerns and questions about its impact on individuals and their relationships. Below are answers to some frequently asked questions regarding this topic:

• How does promiscuity affect a woman?

Promiscuity can significantly impact a woman’s physical and emotional health. It can increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It may lead to psychological effects such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. 

Social stigma and challenges in forming trusting relationships are also common consequences that women may face due to promiscuous behavior.

• Can a promiscuous person be faithful?

Yes, a promiscuous person has the potential to be faithful. Changes in behavior often require self-reflection, a strong desire to change, and sometimes professional help. 

Faithfulness is a choice and commitment that can be made regardless of one’s past, provided there is a genuine intention and effort to maintain loyalty in a relationship.

• Can a promiscuous person change?

Absolutely, a promiscuous person can change. Change is possible with the right motivation, understanding, and support. It often involves addressing the underlying reasons for promiscuity, such as emotional needs or self-esteem issues, through therapy or counseling. 

Commitment to personal growth and healthier relationship patterns is key to making a lasting change.

To summarize

Promiscuity in marriage is a complex issue that stems from various reasons, including dissatisfaction, emotional disconnection, the thrill of the chase, and, sometimes, deeper psychological issues. Its effects can be devastating, leading to a breakdown in trust, emotional pain, and, in many cases, the dissolution of the marriage itself.

However, it’s essential to recognize that every situation is unique, and the reasons behind promiscuity can be deeply personal and varied.

While the immediate effects are often negative, confronting these issues can also lead to opportunities for growth and understanding within a relationship, provided both partners are willing to engage in open, honest communication and seek professional help if needed.