When learning how to ignore someone you love, it’s important to know the difference between being flirtatious and being cruel.
You are not ignoring someone you love to make them feel bad about themselves. This is not a game played to be cruel.
Ignoring someone you are attracted to is all about maintaining a certain level of distance from them to gain their interest.
Being overly available can be a turn-off for some people. If you are checking in frequently and always have time for your spouse, it can make them feel like the chase is over.
On the other hand, if you wait to respond to their texts and maintain your independence while dating, it can make you seem more appealing to your loved one.
Ignoring someone you care about isn’t for everyone. If you think your partner would benefit from a little hot-and-cold flirtation, this article is for you.
Psychology of ignoring someone
When you think about ignoring someone, your mind probably goes to a negative place. After all, when someone ignores you on purpose, it’s usually because you’ve done something hurtful or annoying to them.
This isn’t always the case. Sometimes the psychology of ignoring someone you love has everything to do with trying to get their attention – not pushing them away.
Ignoring someone you are attracted to can be a great way of getting someone into a relationship with you.
If you are already dating, it may give your partner the space to reflect on and show appreciation for your current relationship.
A study of marriage called The Early Years of Marriage Project, which has been following the same 373 married couples for over 25 years, found that a lack of privacy or time for self was responsible for creating an unhappy relationship.
It should be clarified that when speaking about learning how to ignore someone you love, this article is not condoning stonewalling. Giving a partner the silent treatment can be
psychologically damaging and emotionally abusive.
This article is speaking about using a flirtatious aloofness to catch the attention of someone you care about.
10 ways of ignoring someone you love
When someone ignores you on purpose, it can send you into a frenzy of love and affection. That is the goal for ignoring your girlfriend or boyfriend in this instance.
By not being fully available to your love interest, you make them try harder to gain your affection.
Here are 10 simple tips to learn how to ignore someone you love.
1. Don’t be too eager
For some, the flame of love begins to flicker when the chase ends.
One lesson in ignoring someone you are attracted to is to play it cool. Don’t be too eager to rush to them whenever you are in the same room.
If you meet up at a social gathering, take your time saying hello to other friends before coming up to your crush. This will give them time to get excited about talking to you.
Be friendly and fun, but don’t let them know how pleased you are to talk to them.
2. Stay strong
Ignoring someone you love isn’t easy, so it’s important to stay strong and stand your ground.
It’s hard to act like you aren’t pleased to be around your crush but stick to the plan.
When done right, ignoring the object of your affection can lead to a stronger bond and a more exciting relationship.
If you feel like your plan isn’t working, give it a few more days. Your crush may start coming around to your flirtatious wiles.
3. Don’t respond to texts right away
Learning how to ignore someone you love takes restraint, especially when it comes to calls and texts.
If your crush asks you out or sends a flirty text, you may want to respond immediately – but don’t.
The key to this plan’s success is to make yourself seem untouchable, in a sense. It’s to create an air of mystery that makes your love interest more enticed by your company.
Show some restraint and make them wait a few hours before you respond. Be kind when you do. Remember, you want them to know you are interested in them; you just don’t want them to think that when they snap, you come running.
Don’t feel like you have to invite the person you’re interested into every social event on your calendar just to get their attention. Doing the opposite may just be the trick you need to gain their affection.
Invite your crush out with some friends, and then leave them out of the next hangout. This will remind them that they are someone you enjoy spending time with, but you don’t need them around to have a good time.
When your crush sees that you are happy and independent in your life, it will reinforce that you are someone worth getting to know.
5. Be patient
Learning how to ignore someone you love takes patience. It isn’t a strategy for everyone, especially if all you want to do is wrap your arms around your loved one.
Your plan will pay off with persistence.
You may feel at times that you are rude by giving your crush the brush off, but remember that you are ignoring them because you want their attention.
Your crush may try and play it cool with you and may even give you a taste of what it feels like to be ignored. This may make you feel like your plan isn’t working, but be patient. Your plan will pay off.
6. Act busy, but not too busy
Learning how to ignore someone you love is all about striking the right balance between making your crush feel special and not being available to them.
When they ask what you’re up to, tell them that you have plans, but don’t forget to give back a little, too.
Being busy doesn’t mean you can’t ever give them the time of day. If you don’t show interest in them, how can you expect them to stay interested in you?
Make plans together one week and have a blast, then brush them off for a couple of days. This will keep them on their toes about how to get you back out on your next date.
7. Don’t be rude
The psychology of ignoring someone suggests that you play them hot and cold.
This means that one minute your passions for them are burning like a blazing bonfire, and the next, they’re left feeling frozen and wondering where all of your heat went. Essentially, you’re engaging in one conversation and aloof and cool the next.
The point of ignoring someone is to elicit their interest, not to make them feel bad about themselves. Don’t be afraid to throw them a line.
Be flirtatious, be cute, show them you care and then pull away slightly. This back and forth will draw their interest and keep them on their toes about how to win your affections for good.
When someone ignores you on purpose, it can start to be draining. This is not how you want your crush to feel. The goal is to make them feel tempted by your love games, not exhausted by them.
8. Pay attention to your intuition
Learning how to ignore someone you love isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, just as learning to deal with being ignored by someone you love may not be as sexy and exciting as you hoped.
Your intuition will play an important role in how things go during your game of hot and cold.
If you sense that your crush isn’t responding well to being ignored, it may be a sign that you should retool your flirtation technique.
First, try to be hotter than you are cool. Show your crush affection more than you’re brushing them off. Having that bit of reassurance may keep them interested in the game.
If you sense they are about to give up pursuing you, take it as a sign that this may not be the right plan for you.
Also watch: 7 things highly intuitive people do differently.
9. Show interest but don’t be needy
Some people love a partner who is an open book about their feelings. They love someone who expressed their needs and desires.
Others find it overwhelming, especially at the beginning of the relationship.
Studies show thatcouples who communicate are happier and more positive with each other. Show interest in your crush by asking open-ended questions that promote a back-and-forth dialogue.
Just be careful not to be too needy when you speak to them. You don’t want to seem clingy or overly eager to be around them.
10. Plan for an amazing payoff
When learning how to ignore someone you love, it’s important to imagine the payoff at the end.
It may seem like a struggle at times to deny the one thing you want the most – love – but it will be worthwhile when you are embracing the person you want the most.
You won’t need to keep playing games once you are in a committed relationship with your crush. By then, your relationship will be exciting enough on its own to keep their interest.
In the meantime, whenever it seems hard to ignore the one you love, remember that you are doing this to bring excitement and passion into your lives.
The payoff may even lay the foundation for an amazing future with your crush.
The dangers in ignoring someone
Learning how to ignore someone you love may seem like the best way to capture their interest, but there is a chance your hot-and-cold plan may backfire.
Your love interest may misinterpret your play for their attention as a version of the dreaded silent treatment.
The silent treatment, otherwise referred to as stonewalling, is when one person in a relationship begins ignoring their partner. They refuse to speak or acknowledge the other’s presence.
Stonewalling can also be done by using evasive maneuvers such as pretending to be busy or physically turning away from your spouse.
Dr. John Gottman referred to stonewalling as one of the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” of relationships in his research ‘A Theory of Marital Dissolution and Stability.’
Feeling ignored may cause your partner to react in one of two ways:
They will think you don’t like them. If your crush isn’t into playing games, they may take your silence as a sign that you aren’t interested in them.
They will stop liking you. Ignoring someone may come off as rude, petty, and emotionally distressing to your spouse. If you play with their feelings for too long without letting up, they may lose interest in the relationship and break things off.
Ignoring your girlfriend or boyfriend can be a sexy game that ends with both of you showered in attention, but it can also cause some damage to your relationship.
You know your partner best. If they do not seem like the type of person who would respond favorably to the psychology of ignoring someone, it’s best to choose a different way of showing your affection.
Learning how to ignore someone you love is an art.
Why ignore someone? Done correctly, your love game will have the object of your affection more interested in you than ever.
Ignoring someone you love can be done in just a few simple steps.
Don’t be too eager to respond to their texts and calls. This will make them even more excited to talk to you.
Stay strong. Ignoring your girlfriend or boyfriend can be tough, especially when all you want to do is showering them with love and attention, but it will all pay off in the end.
Act busy, but not so busy that your loved one loses interest. You want to give them just enough attention to keep them interested in you.
If you’ve ever had to deal with being ignored by someone you love, you know it’s not always a great feeling.
When someone ignores you on purpose, it can make the person on the receiving end feel like their emotions do not matter.
Follow your gut instinct. If you don’t feel like this method of flirtation works well with your partner, cut it loose. Don’t risk hurting your loved one’s feelings over the psychology of ignoring someone.
Ignoring someone you are attracted to can have great results if done properly. Just remember to treasure your spouse once you have their attention. A healthy relationship revolves around communication, love, and trust – you can’t ignore them forever.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.