In Love With Someone Else: 13 Ways to Move Forward

You’re in a committed relationship, and everything seems fine. But then, unexpectedly, you start to develop feelings for someone else. Maybe it’s a coworker, a friend, or someone you’ve recently met. 

Suddenly, you find yourself thinking, “I’m in love with someone else.” It’s an incredibly confusing and emotional experience, leaving you wondering, “Why am I having feelings for someone else while in a relationship?” and “What should I do now?”

Pause. Breathe. You’re not alone in this. 

Many people have faced similar dilemmas and found a path forward. 

Many people in committed relationships admit to having feelings for someone else at some point. It’s a more common experience than you might think, and it doesn’t mean your current relationship is doomed.

Whether you’re seeking clarity, looking for ways to address your feelings, or figuring out how to communicate with your partner, we’ve got you covered. Here, we’ll explore some practical ways to move forward when you’re in love with someone else. 

What does being in love with someone else while in a relationship mean?

Finding yourself in love with someone else while in a relationship can be a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. You might wonder, “What does it mean to be in love with someone else when you’re already committed?” 

This situation can have multiple meanings and perspectives. It could indicate a deep, unfulfilled need in your current relationship, or perhaps it’s a sign that you’ve developed a genuine connection with another person. 

Sometimes, it’s simply a fleeting crush that doesn’t necessarily undermine your existing relationship.

It’s important to understand that having these feelings doesn’t automatically mean the end of your current relationship. It might just be a signal to re-evaluate your emotions and the dynamics at play.

It can mean:

• A need for emotional or physical connection that’s missing in your current relationship.
• An indication of personal growth or changes in your desires and needs.
• A realization about what you truly value in a partner or relationship.

Is it healthy to like someone else while in a relationship?

So, you’re in a committed relationship but find yourself liking someone else. You might be wondering, “Is this normal? Is it healthy?” 

Liking someone else while being in a relationship can be completely natural. Humans are complex, and attraction can happen even when you’re happily committed. But what does it mean to be in love with someone else? If you love someone else, it’s essential to consider your feelings deeply.

Being in love with someone else doesn’t necessarily spell disaster for your current relationship. It could simply be a wake-up call to address unmet needs or desires. However, it’s crucial to handle these feelings thoughtfully and honestly.

Quick self-assessment:

Question	Yes	No
Do you feel guilty about your feelings?
Are these feelings affecting your current relationship?
Have you communicated your needs to your partner?
Is this a fleeting crush or something deeper?

Answering these questions can help you gauge whether your feelings are a sign of something more significant or just a passing phase.

Being in love with someone else: 13 practical ways to move forward

So, you’ve found yourself in love with someone else while still in a relationship. It’s confusing, emotional, and probably a bit overwhelming. But don’t worry, you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to navigate this tricky situation. 

Wondering what to do when you love someone else? Here are 13 practical ways with an example scenario to move forward and figure things out

1. Acknowledge your feelings honestly without judgment

Recognize and accept your emotions. It’s okay to feel conflicted. For example, Sarah found herself thinking about her coworker constantly, even though she was in a long-term relationship. She had to first accept that these feelings were real and not push them away.

What you can do about it: Start a journal to document your feelings. Writing them down can help you understand and process them without judgment. Reflect on when these feelings started and what might have triggered them.

2. Reflect deeply on the strengths and weaknesses of your current relationship

Take a good, hard look at your current relationship. What’s working? What’s not? Maybe Alex noticed that his relationship with his partner had become distant and lacking intimacy, which made the attraction to someone else more pronounced.

According to Christiana Njoku, LPC, 

It’s an opportunity to reevaluate your current relationship for what is working and not working and seek ways to make things right.

What you can do about it: Make a list of pros and cons about your current relationship. Discuss your concerns with your partner and see if there’s a way to address them together.

3. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist for an outside perspective

Sometimes, you need an outside perspective. Talk to a close friend or a therapist. They can offer insights you might not see. Like when Jenny confided in her best friend, she realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings.

What you can do about it: Reach out to someone you trust. Set up a session with a therapist who can provide professional guidance and help you navigate your feelings without bias.

4. Assess the reality and potential of the new relationship objectively

Is the grass really greener on the other side? Assess the potential of this new relationship. Imagine if Sam left his partner for this new person; would it be worth it in the long run?

What you can do about it: Take a step back and evaluate the new relationship objectively. Consider whether you are idealizing the new person because of issues in your current relationship. List out what you know about them and what might be a fantasy.

5. Consider the emotional impact on all parties involved in the situation

Think about how your actions will affect everyone involved. Rachel, for example, knew her partner would be devastated if she left, and the new person was also in a committed relationship.

What you can do about it: Write down the potential consequences for everyone involved, including yourself. This can help you see the bigger picture and think more carefully about your next steps.

6. Avoid making hasty decisions that could lead to regret

Don’t rush into any decisions. Take your time. Mark once jumped into a new relationship too quickly and regretted not thinking it through.

What you can do about it: Give yourself a set period, such as a few months, to reflect on your feelings without making any drastic changes. Use this time to really think things through.

7. Communicate openly and honestly with your current partner about your feelings

It’s crucial to communicate. Your partner deserves to know how you’re feeling. Be like Emily, who sat down with her partner and had an open conversation about her feelings.

In addition, Christiana Njoku, LPC, states,

It is important to communicate your feelings and needs to your partner as a way to better understand how to meet your needs.

What you can do about it: Plan a calm and honest conversation with your partner. Explain your feelings without blaming them, and listen to their perspective as well.

8. Evaluate your personal needs and desires to understand what you truly want

Think about what you really want in a relationship. Are your needs being met? Tom realized he wanted more emotional intimacy, which he wasn’t getting from his current partner.

What you can do about it: List out your personal needs and desires in a relationship. Consider whether they can be fulfilled in your current relationship or if something fundamental is missing.

9. Set clear boundaries with the new person to avoid further complications

Setting boundaries can help manage your feelings. When Laura found herself attracted to her friend, she decided to set boundaries to protect her relationship.

What you can do about it: Establish what is and isn’t appropriate in your interactions with the new person. Stick to these boundaries to prevent any further emotional entanglement.

10. Focus on self-care and personal growth to maintain your well-being

It’s essential to take care of yourself. Focus on your well-being and growth. Michael used this time to focus on his hobbies and personal development.

What you can do about it: Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you grow. Exercise, meditate, and pursue hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment.

11. Seek professional guidance if you feel overwhelmed or unsure

Professional guidance can provide clarity. When Jane felt overwhelmed, she sought help from a relationship counselor who helped her navigate her feelings.

What you can do about it: Book an appointment with a relationship counselor or therapist. They can offer unbiased advice and support as you work through your emotions.

12. Understand how to say you are in love with someone else in a compassionate way

If you decide to tell your partner, do it with compassion. Henry wanted to be honest but didn’t want to hurt his partner unnecessarily.

What you can do about it: Prepare for the conversation by thinking about how to express your feelings gently and kindly. Choose a private and calm setting to talk.

Well-known psychotherapist Esther Perel talks about how to have difficult conversations with your partner. Watch the video:

13. Decide on the best path forward that aligns with your values and happiness

Ultimately, you need to decide what’s best for you. Amanda took her time to consider her values and what would make her happy in the long run.

What you can do about it: Reflect on your values and long-term happiness. Make a decision that aligns with who you are and what you truly want in life.

Moving forward with love’s complexities

Being in love with someone else while in a relationship is tough, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery, as well. 

It’s okay to feel confused and uncertain. What’s important is how you handle these feelings and the steps you take next. Be honest with yourself, communicate openly, and don’t rush into decisions. 

Take control of your happiness and make choices that align with your true desires. It’s your journey—cover it with care and confidence. Ready to take the next step? Dive deeper into understanding your emotions and finding the right path forward for you.