How to Get Your Wife Back After an Affair-15 Ways

You have probably committed a great mistake by betraying her trust, and now you want to get your wife back after an affair.

Mistakes happen all the time in relationships and marriages, but cheating on your partner is one of the hardest to forgive. Restoring a marriage after an affair is usually tricky.

Remember, rebuilding a marriage after infidelity means you will be facing someone who once trusted you with everything they have. This can be not easy at first, but if you value your marriage, you will get your wife back. 

It takes more than apologizing to know how to get your wife back and win her trust back. If you want to know how to fix a relationship after you cheated or how to make your wife love you again, you are in luck. In this article, you will learn ways to get your wife back after an affair. Continue reading to learn more.

Related Reading: 5 Tips for Restoring Trust After Infidelity

How do I reconnect with my wife after an affair?

The first step to rebuilding a marriage after infidelity or winning your wife back after an affair is to be genuinely sorry. Yes! There is no point in restoring marriage after an experience if you don’t feel remorseful about it.

Start by asking yourself, “Do I feel sorry for this act?” Does my wife’s feelings about the affair affect me?” Once your answers to these are positive affirmations, then you can start plotting ways to get your wife back.

Many men have broken their wives’ trust in the past and still do, so infidelity is not strange in marriages. However, some men still value the relationship that existed in their marriage.

Therefore, their focus is on rebuilding a marriage after infidelity. If you want to know how to fix a relationship after you cheated, check the following:

• Don’t lie to her

Now is the time to own up to your mistakes. You cheated on your wife, and she caught you. The best you can do to get your wife back is to tell her the truth. Lying will only escalate the matter.

• Give her some time

Put yourself in her shoes. If you switch roles, would you forgive her immediately? Of course, not! Therefore, give your wife some space to process her feelings. 

After apologizing, don’t go about chasing her with calls or stalking her. This can infuriate her more. Instead, be patient to win her back.

• Show you are genuinely sorry

It’s not enough to boast you will never cheat or break her trust. She has to see you show it. Try constructive measures by going for counseling or seeing a therapist.

Even if you might not know the reasons behind your actions, professionals can help you see that. Once she sees this, she will know you are trying your best to win her trust back.

Related Reading: 5 Tips for Reconstructing Marriages After Infidelity

How long does it take for a wife to get over an affair?

Another question men who have cheated on their wives ask is how long it takes for their wife to forgive their infidelity. Well, no one size fits all in answering this question. The duration to forgive a cheating partner varies from one individual to another.

Also, it depends on how remorseful you are, the reasons behind your extramarital affairs, which you did it with, and so on. These are factors your wife will use to determine if your experience is worth getting over soon or not. Regardless, it will take any wife months – years to get over a matter.

While it can sometimes be daunting to wait, remember your wife now sees another person different from whom she used to know. She needs time to adjust or see you as that loving and loyal husband again. If you want to get your wife back after an affair, and she has requested some time, it is best to give her time.

How to get your wife back after an affair?

Another thing men who have cheated seek is how to make their wives love you again. Winning your wife back after an affair only takes a few strategies.

Know that every action you take after cheating on your wife will seem like a cover-up. Nonetheless, keep trying to get your wife back by showing her that you are ready to be that loyal husband again. 

• Cut off all communication with the other woman

Start by cutting all manners of communication with the person you cheated on. That will make your wife know you are putting in the effort required to keep your marriage strong.

• Repent

Now it’s time to give up on your cheating affairs. If you genuinely want to get your wife back after an experience, you should stop cheating or doing anything close to cheating.

• Show her more care

She may not believe your actions at first, but you need to keep it going. Show your wife you care about her by paying attention to her more. 

Genuinely ask how she feels and try to strike up conversations with her. Help and support her in ways you can without giving up, even if she rejects them. 

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Show Someone You Care About Them

• Reassure her constantly

It is usually hard to win your partner’s trust back after breaking them. Nonetheless, you can win your wife back after an affair by reassuring her of your love and loyalty. She needs to hear and see that you won’t go back to your old ways.

15 ways to win your wife back after cheating

1. Communicate

The first step in winning your wife back after an affair is to create room for a healthy conversation. The importance of communication can’t be overemphasized in rebuilding a marriage after infidelity. 

Indeed, you need to face the truth and talk to your partner about your affair. She needs to hear your reasons and if she contributed to your actions. This can help her clear many assumptions she must have made upon learning about your cheating scandal.

Related Reading: The Importance of Communication in Relationships

• Let your actions speak

You have probably admitted your mistakes and promised to be a better person. Awesome! Now, it’s time to put in some work to back up your words.

You and your wife once shared something unique and valuable. Cheating makes those actions irrelevant. Therefore, you need to double your effort in showing that you love, care, and value your wife and marriage. That is one of the best ways to win her trust back.

• Change

One primary way to win your wife back after an affair is to change your habits. There are different ways to show you have become a better person.

While cutting all forms of communication with the person you cheated with is excellent, you also need to avoid anything that might make your wife distrust you. Winning your wife back after an affair isn’t easy, but you need to be a better person for yourself and your family.

• Be patient 

Knowing how to win your wife back after an affair can help you, but being patient will make it faster for your wife to forgive you. Expect that your wife will be angry at you for a while. 

Your wife may yell at you for no reason or avoid having any conversation with you. It’s hard, but remember, you make her that way. 

You are now a strange person to her, and it may take her some time to believe you are now a changed person. You may get your wife back, but you need to wait. She has a right to process her thoughts and emotions for as long as she wants.

• Don’t give up

This point is the closest to being patient. Understandably, how to make your wife love you again is hard. It’s full of many factors, but you can’t give up if you want your marriage back. Be patient, honest, consistent, and hopeful.

• Be consistent 

Well, sending her flowers in her office is admirable and romantic. Nonetheless, you can’t stop there. Every one of your actions should reflect consistency. 

Don’t just care because you are trying to get your wife back after an affair. Do it because it is the right thing to do, and let it be consistent. She must see a pattern that helps to reinforce your genuine intention.

• Assure her

A typical relationship needs assurance to cement the love that exists from time to time. If you want to know how to fix a relationship after cheating, you must make your wife know an affair is now a past event. 

Also, make her know nothing will make you return to your old self. Your wife already feels betrayed, so love assurance can make her fall in love with you again.

• Don’t bring up the past

Probably your wife has made some mistakes in the past – this is normal. In your quest to win her trust back, don’t bring up her past to justify your affair. It only shows you are not as remorseful as you had made her believe when you communicated. 

Instead, focus on the positives and win your wife back after an affair.

Related Reading: How Do You Stop Your Spouse From Bringing Up the Past?

• Don’t get angry

In the process of winning your wife back after an affair, expect her to say some hurtful words or disrespect you. You wouldn’t blame her. She is hurting and feels betrayed. 

However, what you wouldn’t do is get mad at her for those. It will only make the matter worse. Instead, focus on correcting your mistakes and rebuilding your marriage after infidelity.

Check out these tips on how to let go of anger and resolve conflicts in marriage:

• Ask her out again

Now, it’s time to do some reminiscing. Remember how you wooed her before marriage or how you proposed. You should try that again. 

Your task is to make your wife fall in love with you again. See your wife as a new potential love interest you just met. For example, you can try writing her a poem, sending her flowers, and cooking for her. 

Related Reading: 11 Experiences as Creative Date Ideas for Couples

• Support her

You might have probably done this a lot in the past, but you can do more now. Whether she has a business or works in an office, help her in any way possible.

• Be yourself 

To get your honest wife back after an affair, try not to lose yourself in the process. Let her see that you are not putting on some shows to win her trust back.

• Buy her gifts

This action itself gives you away, but it’s worth trying. In other words, your wife will immediately know the purpose of the gift, but seeing your effort can make your wife happy and lighten up her mood.

• Listen to her

If your wife ever attempts to talk, you should listen to her. This is a big break in restoring marriage after an affair. 

Related Reading: 4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters

• Consider counseling 

A therapist or marriage counselor is trained in fixing personal and emotional issues. If it looks like your efforts are yielding fruitfully, it is best to seek professionals to save your marriage.

Conclusion

Marriage is the institution that brings two individuals together. However, cheating is that factor that can bring marriage down. If you want to get your wife back after an affair, it is essential to be strategic and intentional in your actions. 

Your wife must see that you have changed and want to restore your marriage. If you have tried your best and see no result, you should see a counselor help you get your wife back. Whatever you do, be patient, and don’t give up.