‘Is my husband cheating?’ You are having this doubt in your mind ever since your husband started exhibiting a few subtle signs in his behavior recently which bothers you a lot. He is definitely a changed person and those signs were never there, but have become an inseparable part of him.
Few signs manifested in his behavior recently like using new phrases, changing things up, making excuses to stay away from you, and giving blank stares now and then – is enough to raise a couple of red flags in your mind.
You are at a loss thinking about what to say to your husband when you just found out that your husband has been cheating on you. Your ‘once a happy’ marriage is now hanging on by a thread and you think you can never recover from it.
Alternatively, you and your husband might be able to work things out and get past the rough patch and end up being better than ever. But, you should ask yourself, ‘should I forgive him for cheating?’
But, the first question you want to ask your dishonest husband is WHY did he feel the need to cheat on you? Unfortunately, there is no correct answer to why a person becomes unfaithful.
It can be anything, it could be a result of difficulties in your marriage, it could be something from his past or he just could not control himself from being attracted to other women. You should make peace with the fact that you might never find out the reason for disloyalty and infidelity.
This agonizing betrayal of trust is mostly too much to get over. However, if the cheating husband regrets what he has done and he is even more miserable than you are, then you must be prepared and motivated to survive the shock together and save the marriage.
This depends on how dedicated the couple is about saving the marriage, how much history does the couple have and whether they have children.
If you are a wife struggling to know how to forgive your husband for cheating, you have come to the right place. We bring you considerate advice about how to forgive a cheating husband while keeping your self-esteem unharmed of course.
1. Don’t neglect your emotions
It is only human to feel devastated, angry, heartbroken, shocked or sad when you catch your husband cheating on you. Acknowledge your feelings and do not ignore your emotions, face them. If you run away from your feelings, eventually all the emotions will build up inside you and you will explode like a bomb, and trust me that’s NOT what you want. You will be hurt and wonder how to forgive a cheating husband and move on with your life.
But, the most dominant emotion that you may feel will be anger. You will want to take your anger out by hurting your cheating husband or by taking revenge.
This is not the right way to face your emotions, try dealing with your anger without taking it out on your husband. Try talking to a close family member or a friend, consider writing your feelings down in a diary or a journal, go for a walk, sing or dance it out or even punch a pillow.
Just do not project your rage on people around you.
2. Forgiveness will set you free
When the person you have vowed to stay with and love forever cheats on you, your first instinct is to curse him and never ever forgive him. Forgiving a cheating spouse is not easy.
But, forgive your husband not because he is sorry and has apologized a million times; forgive him for YOUR peace of mind because YOU deserve it. Letting go of mistakes and forgiving is an important tool for a prosperous marriage.
So, how to forgive your husband for cheating? Forgiveness does not mean that you are overlooking the insensitive behavior of your husband.
It simply means that you are better than this, you will not waste your energy and time on holding on to the betrayals and anger, and instead, you will put that time and energy to recover your marriage.
It is not going to be easy, but it is still possible to forgive him when you cannot help but picture your husband betraying you and you start feeling nauseated, think of your calm happy place or distract yourself and do something so you do not think about it for too long.
And it has significant effects on the relationship, as research points out.
Once you have decided how to forgive, refrain from throwing sarcastic taunts in his face and reminding him again and again about what he did wrong, give him a chance to become a better husband.
Watch this video by Breathwork Therapist Eileen Fein on how to practice forgiveness using the power of meditation:
3. Give each other space
You have recently been cheated on by your husband; naturally, you want him to always stay in sight where you can keep an eye on him. You need to keep in mind that once you have planned to forgive your husband you need to trust him and not hurry the process.
Do not turn into a clingy wife always breathing down your husband’s neck. Spend some time apart and get your thoughts in one place and when you feel that you are ready to live with him, move in back together with a fresh new start.
Build a new marriage and make it your goal to survive the anger and insecurities. You and your husband need to reassure each other to come out of this rough patch.
Learn how to forgive a cheater first, give him a second chance and you will see the change in your husband soon. With these three ways, you can surely teach yourself how to forgive a cheating husband.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.