If you’re someone who got married in a church, there’s a pretty good chance that you have some type of faith foundation. If that is indeed the case, you might want to check out the article “What God Hath Joined Together”. It addresses what the Bible says about marriage and divorce in a way that may not currently be “popular” but is still biblically-sound. The reality is that some people seek divorce as a solution to the problems within their marriage because they do not have spiritual knowledge on what can be done in order to save a marriage from divorce.
However, whether or not you consider yourself to be a religious person, we think it’s safe to assume that when you got married, you did it with the intentions of your relationship lasting for a lifetime; not just a few months or several years. Yet when times get really hard, it’s understandable that you might think that there’s nothing else that can be done other than for you and your spouse to go your separate ways.
Thankfully, there are things that you can do to save a marriage from divorce. Here are five that couples in trouble have done to transition from “for worse” to “for the better”.
1. Communicate with each other
One of the main reasons why there are so many grey divorces is due to what a person once said: “People change and forget to tell one another.” In order for a relationship to grow, the people involved are going to have to communicate with one another. This consists of sharing mutual wants and needs, learning each other’s love languages and being committed to really listening to one another as well. There are far too many couples who end filing for divorce because there is so much resentment that simply comes from not feeling heard and validated. If divorce is even remotely in your mind, it’s time to have a serious heart-to-heart with your spouse.
2. Go to a professional counselor
And what if you can’t seem to get on the same page with one another? If that’s the case, make an appointment to see a professional marriage counselor. They have been trained in how to deal with all sorts of marital issues, including communication problems. They are also excellent mediators if there are topics that need to be addressed but one or both of you seem to be avoiding.
3. Learn to forgive
If people were perfect, divorce would probably be non-existent. But the reality is that all of us are human which means that all of us are flawed. And what that means is all of us make mistakes. A wise man once said that “A happy marriage consists of two good forgivers” and there is so much truth to that resolve. There are lots of articles on the internet that can provide you with tips on how to forgive your spouse. The main thing to keep in mind is when you pardon them for an offense, it helps to remove your bitterness and their guilt. And as a result, more times than not, it brings forth a freedom that can actually bring the two of you closer together.
4. Set healthy boundaries
Best-selling authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend penned a book entitled Boundaries in Marriage. One of the awesome things about it is it serves as a reminder that just because you and your spouse are married, that doesn’t mean that you should lose your individuality in the process. There are some couples who are tempted to call it quits because they feel like their relationship is suffocating them; that they don’t have a voice anymore in their relationship. Learning how to respect one another by setting some healthy boundaries may be the solution to that problem.
5. Get back to your friendship
The best way to have a strong marital relationship is to have an awesome friendship at its foundation. And so, if you’re currently contemplating divorce, don’t spend so much time asking yourself if you’re still “in love”. Right now, it’s much more important to determine if you’re in love. Remember, the very definitions of the word “friend” is someone who offers assistance and support, who provides affection and who is a confidante, advocate and ally. If you and your spouse can get back to that place, the love will return and the marriage can be restored. And hopefully, there will be no need to ever bring up the word “divorce” again.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shellie Warren