15 Signs of a Histrionic Narcissist in a Relationship

Relationships are challenging, but they can be even more complex when one or both partners has a mental health condition. Because they influence how a person behaves and views the world, personality disorders can be particularly challenging within the context of romantic relationships.

Two personality disorders that can interfere with relationship development are histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. When a person has both disorders, specific characteristics can present in the relationship and make it difficult to communicate and maintain a healthy connection.

So, what is it like being in a relationship with a histrionic narcissist? Learn more below. 

What is a histrionic narcissist?

In a nutshell, histrionic narcissists display characteristics of both narcissistic and histrionic personality disorders. Both disorders are legitimate mental health conditions, included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

There is a strong overlap between narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder, leading to the label of histrionic narcissism. While not an official diagnosis, people may use this term to refer to those with characteristics of both disorders.

10 telltale histrionic personality traits

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder show grandiose behavior and arrogance. Those with histrionic narcissism will also show traits of histrionic personality disorder in addition to narcissistic behaviors. Below are some traits that point to this disorder.

1. Attention-seeking behavior

Individuals with histrionic personality disorder become quite distressed when they are not the center of attention. Someone who has this disorder may go out of their way to get attention from others. 

Related Reading: Attention Seeking Behavior in Relationship : Examples & How to Stop

2. Provocative actions

To obtain more attention, someone with a histrionic personality disorder may engage in sexually promiscuous behavior, such as wearing extremely revealing clothing to attract others. 

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3. Rapid changes in emotion

People with a histrionic personality disorder may rapidly swing from one emotion to the next, seeming happy one minute and then upset the next. 

This is often because they are exaggerating their emotions for the sake of receiving attention. 

Related Reading: 14 Tips on How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship

4. Difficulty showing emotions

While histrionics may outwardly display rapid changes in an emotional state, they tend to have difficulty feeling emotion. Their emotions are often all for show, and they may lack the depth of emotional experience associated with being human.

5. Fixation on the outward appearance

A perfect physical appearance can help someone with histrionic traits to draw more attention to themselves. Someone with the disorder will spend hours perfecting their physical appearance.

Things like makeup, hairstyle, and what they wear are very important to people with a histrionic personality disorder. 

6. Speech that is lacking in detail 

Another sign of histrionic personality traits is using vague, impressionistic language. This means that people with this disorder will make vague, sometimes dramatic statements, but when you ask them to elaborate, they cannot provide any detail.

For instance, they may state that they have “big plans for the future,” but when you ask about these plans, they cannot explain what they entail. 

7. Theatrical behavior

The histrionic personality is characterized by drama and theatrics. It may seem like a person with this personality is constantly acting on a stage.

For instance, if they acquire a minor injury, such as a stubbed toe, they may cry in agony and walk with a limp as if they have just broken their foot. 

8. High suggestibility

Another histrionic personality feature is a high degree of suggestibility, meaning that people with this trait are easily influenced by others. They can be convinced to go along with the crowd on a whim. 

9. Silly behavior

Histrionics are delighted by any type of attention they receive, even negative attention. Someone with a histrionic personality disorder may engage in silly, embarrassing behavior to remain in the spotlight. 

Related Reading: What Is Impulsive Behavior: Causes, Types, Signs & How It Hurts the Relationship

10. Perceiving a high degree of intimacy 

Finally, histrionic personality types view their relationships as being much more intimate than they actually are. They may think they have developed a close friendship with someone who is actually just a casual acquaintance.

Because of this fact, histrionics can come off as quite strong. 

Related Reading: What Is Intimacy and 12 Types of Intimacy in a Relationship

15 signs of an over-emotional histrionic narcissist in relationships

A person who has both narcissistic and histrionic traits may be said to have a narcissistic histrionic personality disorder. Below are some signs that may appear in a relationship with someone with this personality type. 

1. Playing the victim

The histrionic narcissist is skilled at playing the victim. This person will not take accountability for their bad behavior; if they act out, they will claim it is because they have been wronged. 

This personality type will go to great lengths to convince others that they have been victimized, and they are adept at making dramatic emotional displays to show how hurt they are. 

2. Manipulative behavior

Histrionic narcissists will manipulate people to achieve their aims. They can do this by acting especially sweet and kind to get their way, or they may act hurt by someone’s behavior to guilt that person into apologizing or giving them what they want. 

Relative Reading: 25 Examples of Manipulation in Relationships

3. Dramatic displays of emotion 

Sometimes narcissists with histrionic traits are referred to as emotional narcissists because of their grand displays of dramatic emotion. In a relationship, a person with traits of emotional narcissism may have grandiose outbursts of anger or terror in an attempt to get a reaction out of you. 

4. Sense of entitlement 

Histrionic narcissists are likely to have a sense of entitlement. After all, one of the core diagnostic features of narcissistic personality disorder is the belief that one is entitled to special treatment.

Coupled with the attention-seeking tendencies of histrionic personality disorder, this means that the histrionic narcissist will feel entitled to all of their partner’s time, attention, and money. 

5. Efforts to be the center of attention 

Histrionic narcissists crave attention and will go out of their way to get the attention back on them. They may make a scene or pout when they feel their significant other is not giving them the attention they deserve.

When it comes to narcissistic people, they crave not only attention but also admiration and praise. So, if the histrionic narcissist isn’t getting the attention they feel they need, they may brag incessantly about their accomplishments, hoping to get attention and praise. 

6. Suicidal gestures

A histrionic narcissist female is at high risk of attempting suicide due to relationship distress. Research shows that women with histrionic personality traits are likely to have multiple suicide attempts.

When there is relationship conflict, or a person with histrionic traits is not having their needs met, they may cope through suicide attempts or behaviors. 

7. Cheating behavior 

A narcissistic histrionic personality disorder is also linked to cheating behavior in relationships. Narcissistic people tend to seek admiration and praise, which may lead them to turn outside the relationship if they feel they are not getting enough of these things from their partners.

Similarly, because histrionic personalities thrive on attention, a person with these traits may step outside the relationship to have their need for attention met.

Related Reading: 10 Most Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship

8. Sexual promiscuity 

A histrionic narcissist is likely to be sexually promiscuous, so they can be flirty with others, even when in a relationship. They may post sexually suggestive photos on social media or seek compliments from others to the point that it makes their significant other uncomfortable.

9. Boredom in relationships

Because their relationships and emotions tend to be rather shallow, people with histrionic traits are likely to become bored in their relationships. They may have a series of short-lived relationships, jumping from one romantic fling to the next.

10. Lack of intimacy 

Histrionic narcissists are likely to lack true emotional intimacy in their relationships. People with histrionic traits tend to view relationships as being much closer than they actually are, whereas narcissists are willing to take advantage of others for their own personal gain.

The combination of these two personality types leads to shallow relationships with a lack of emotional connection. 

11. Frequent guilt trips 

A person who shows signs of being a histrionic narcissist will be willing to manipulate their significant other through guilt. They may accuse their partner of never spending time with them or not caring about them to get attention or whatever else they want.

12. One-sided relationships 

Because narcissism and histrionic personality disorder are linked to a need for frequent attention and admiration, the relationship with a histrionic narcissist can be quite one-sided.

You may feel like you pour all your time and attention into your partner, but they are unwilling to reciprocate or share your feelings. 

Related Reading: 15 Signs You’re in a One-Sided Relationship and How to Fix It

13. Fake behavior

An authentic connection is required for a healthy, lasting relationship, but this tends to be lacking in a relationship with someone with histrionic narcissism. Manipulative behaviors, dramatic displays of emotion, and a lack of intimacy can mean that the relationship is quite “fake.”

You may feel your histrionic narcissist partner isn’t really into you or doesn’t care about revealing their true self to you. Your feelings are likely grounded in reality because the real intimacy that comes with a close relationship can be overwhelming for this personality type.

Check out this video to learn how to spot a fake person:

14. Constant disagreements

The truth is that someone with narcissistic and histrionic traits will be difficult to satisfy within a relationship. Since they crave constant attention and praise, it will feel as if none of your efforts are enough to satisfy them. 

Over time, this can lead to constant disagreements. You feel you are doing all you can to meet your partner’s needs, but it’s still insufficient for them. 

15. Extreme sensitivity 

Self-esteem issues and the need for external validation can lead to extreme sensitivity for people with histrionic narcissism. They may rapidly shift moods or become extremely angry or upset if they feel you’ve disrespected, ignored, or violated them somehow. 

You may feel as if you are constantly apologizing to help them come down from a rapid shift in mood. 

Related Reading: What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? Causes & Symptoms

Some commonly asked questions

The answers to the following questions provide additional information about what it’s like to be in a relationship with a histrionic narcissist. 

• Are histrionics manipulative?

People with histrionic personality disorder are willing to manipulate others to get the attention they need. They may use dramatic displays of emotion or guilt-inducing behaviors to get what they want from their partners. 

• Do histrionics lack empathy?

Individuals with histrionic personality disorder are capable of empathy, but they may struggle to identify and understand emotions, making them seem self-centered and unempathetic. Histrionic narcissists, on the other hand, are likely to show a lack of empathy since this is one of the primary features of narcissistic personality disorder. 

Learn more about empathy in personality disorders here:

• Histrionic vs. narcissistic: What’s the difference? 

Histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder can seem quite similar because both disorders require attention. For histrionics, the need for attention involves dramatic displays of emotion and other attention-getting behaviors, like promiscuity. 

People with a narcissistic personality disorder don’t just need attention; they also crave admiration and praise. They will take advantage of others and put others down to make themselves feel better and to get their way. 

Narcissists also lack empathy and will expect immediate compliance with their demands. They are not particularly concerned with how their behavior affects others, as they perceive themselves as being superior and feel that they are worthy of special treatment. 

While there are differences between narcissistic and histrionic personality disorders, it is possible to show traits of both conditions, as is the case with histrionic narcissism. 

Final takeaway

Being in a relationship with a histrionic narcissist comes with challenges because the traits associated with this personality type can lead to manipulative, promiscuous, and attention-seeking behavior. If you’re struggling to make the relationship work, you may benefit from couples counseling to help you improve your communication and conflict management.

Another strategy is to take our “Save My Marriage Course.” This online course can help you rebuild your marriage by establishing trust, improving communication, and tackling unhealthy behaviors that are damaging the marriage.