Funny Advice for Newlyweds – the Best Is yet to Come

Funny Advice for Newlyweds

You have married the person whom your soul loves, the one who knows you better than anyone else. You spent months planning the wedding of your dreams, and now you embark on the adventure of a lifetime. While the status of being newlyweds is new and fresh, remember the following words of advice for lifelong joy and understanding.

Here is some funny advice for newlyweds

1. Congrats on the promotion!

Now that you are married, you have been promoted! Rather than constantly being asked when you are going to be married, now people will begin to ask you when you plan on having children. This is both an annoyance and a hassle – some people just want to know too much information. There will likely be many people in your lives who will ask in innocence, and it is important to remember the context in which the question is asked. Do not take it personally that family and friends are curious about your future. Instead, be clear about your intentions and have a mutual plan about how you will answer the question when it is asked.

2. Bodily functions are part of life. Deal with it

While many men have no qualms about bodily functions in front of their future or present spouse, understanding that bodily functions and gas are a part of life is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Some men, though they have no problem with their own burping and passing gas, struggle with the idea that their wives are not nearly as polite as they originally appeared to be. Note that since these functions are part of being human, they will happen, and it is your job to simply deal with it!

3. Accept the fate of your favorite white t-shirt

There’s bound to be a load of laundry done wrong, so accept the fate of your favorite white t-shirt now. Even those chores that are done with good intentions can sometimes go wrong. Whether it is a white t-shirt washed with a load of colored laundry or a nondishwasher safe coffee mug washed in the nightly load, accidents are bound to happen. Take those moments at face value, and be sure to remember which is more important, your possessions or your spouse.

4. “I’ll do the dishes,” are four of the most magical words

Come to think of it, it’s the best funny advice out there. Sounds funny but married couples relate to this tip on a serious level. Think of these words as an example, one through which a marriage can thrive. Something as simple as doing the dishes for a spouse who has cooked the meal, or doing a load of laundry for a spouse who has spent the day cleaning your home can open the door to positive communication and increased emotional intimacy. Paying attention to the little things and being a supportive partner can also benefit from physical intimacy with one another!

5. Use your words wisely; they will likely haunt you later

Whether your use of words is intended for good or for harm, be wise in selecting the ones you choose to use! Words can seem harmless and innocent, but often words inflict power and influence. Words chosen in wisdom and with respect in mind are more likely to be received in a positive way. This advice for the newlyweds comes especially handy because opposed to popular romantic belief, it is not wise to blurt out anything that comes to your mind. For example, words spoken in anger during an argument may not be ones you fully mean, but they will likely be referenced in an argument perhaps even years down the road. Selecting the right way to say something at just the right time can be the difference between a happy marriage and one that is the source of frustration.

6. Don’t hide your mistakes. Your spouse will always be the one to find them out

Of all the people you come in contact with in your lifetime, your spouse will be the one who knows you best. Because of this, mistakes, lies, and accidents will more than likely be very difficult to hide. As your best friend and confidante, your spouse should be the one who knows all of those things anyway. Hiding mistakes from your spouse is like hiding sugar from a colony of ants: it may take some time to find, but once found will create a disastrous mess.

Looking towards the rest of your lives together should be exciting. The anticipation of the future of your marriage and your family should bring a sense of joy. This journey will be unlike any other because it is the two of you that will make it uniquely yours.


These rib-tickling funny tips for newlyweds is surely going to infuse your relationship with good humor and positivity. Take them with a pinch of salt and it will make a world of a difference to your new married life.

If you know couples who have got married recently, give this funny advice to newlyweds. Though comical, these tips are useful and will help you build a healthy and fulfilling marriage.

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