You have had your dream wedding. The honeymoon was heavenly. And now you are at what they say is the hardest part: marriage.
Your aunt and uncles are telling you their funny stories and advice on how to come alive in a couple’s fight and you smile nervously and secretly pray that everything that they are saying are just exaggerated jokes. Well, you will now find out for yourself. Marriage is the best part of your life, that is true. But it can also be the worst. It all depends on how you and your partner rock your boat into a happy married life. We have here some words of wisdom that you can hold on to or learn a thing or two from.
1. Be most kind and loving towards your partner
As a newlywed, you would think this is easy. You can have an A+++ in this whole marriage thing if this is a test. When the fights get a little too frequent, do your best to remain affectionate towards your partner. Leave her a short and sweet note on your bed side every now and then. Make him his favorite meal whenever you find the time. Tell your spouse you love him/her everyday.
2. Discover new things about each other
Does she have a birthmark you never knew about before? Does he have these weird habits that you did not notice until the day after the wedding? Tell you what. Marriages are full of surprises. It is true what they say that about not really knowing a person unless you have lived in the same house as them. Have fun with your lifetime roomie!
3. Learn to settle things peacefully
So who’s right? It’s always HER (Just kidding). Always remember that sometimes it is better to lose the fight than to lose the person. Always communicate and learn to settle your differences and compromise.
It’s pretty simple. You want a happy marriage? Make your partner laugh. Crack each other up. Maybe he fell in love with you because of your corny jokes. Your humor may be one of the qualities she liked about you. As the years go by, you get stuck in the same boring routine which makes you lose interest in the relationship. Sitting on the couch every night and watching your favorite rom-com could pretty much do the job.
5. Treat your spouse like your best friend
Being a wife or a husband also means being a friend. You can tell your partner all your thoughts and feelings. Your spouse will be able to cheer you up on your worst days. You can be silly with each other. You can go on adventures you both like. Plus the amazing sex.
If things are not solved at 2 in the morning, it probably would not be solved at 3 AM so you two better sleep and cool yourselves down. Just prepare yourself to face the problem and work things out when the sun comes up.
7. Accept each other’s flaws
FYI, you did not marry a saint. If you always see the bad in each other, the fights will not end. You married the best woman or man in the world, but that does not mean he/she is perfect.
8. Kids are a real challenge
Children are a blessing. But they can take up all of your time from getting them to go to sleep, preparing them for school, or driving them to their football game. You may not have time to cater to your spouse because of your mom or dad schedule. One way to do it is to set up a date night. I know many married couples who struggle to balance their relationships but are still able to make it work by planning couple’s activities ahead of time. Just remember that your family is your priority – both spouse and children.
9. Keep the in-laws away as much as possible
Your parents should not be in direct participation to your marriage. If things are not going well with your partner, you do not have to tell mommy or daddy. Don’t look up to your parents to intimidate your partner, intervene and settle things for you. You are now a grown up, with your own house and a spouse. Act like it.
10. Leave. The. Toilet. Seat. Down!
For the hundredth time, mister. Remember the small things to avoid full-blown fights. Learn to listen and follow each other’s rules and pleas.
So that is it! Married life is one hell of a rollercoaster ride. You chose the partner you love so there is nothing to be scared of because you two are in this ride together. Congratulations and good luck!