Your partner proposed, and you are about to get married. Everyone is happy for you, but you are not so sure if a wedding is what you want. Don’t worry, you are not the first one, and that is why many counseling offices now offer couples therapy before marriage.
At one point in time, you will be filled with excitement to walk down the aisle in the most beautiful wedding attire, and the next moment you could get jitters thinking about life after the wedding.
Marriage is one of the biggest changes in life for every person. It is a vow you give to the person you love, to be faithful to them until the rest of your life.
You will have to change your perspective from just ‘me’ to ‘us’ in most of the things. Your scope of freedom and ‘me’ time would be changing too.
But, it also means that the person will be alongside you forever, both in good or bad, it’s the person you should lean on whenever you need support.
So, while thinking about all of this, it’s ok to be scared. And, this is when pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy before marriage should come into the picture.
But you might think, does couples therapy work? Is couples counseling worth it?
Yes, couples counseling before marriage works. But, the marriage counseling success rate depends entirely on you and your approach towards it.
You need to remember that to get the maximum benefits of premarital counseling, you need to have a positive approach and a receptive mindset.
So to get the maximum benefits of marriage counseling, the following are given some of the important points that you will be discussing when you will go for couples therapy before marriage.
You might feel that you and your partner are obviously compatible since you are taking the biggest leap in your life. You might feel that you don’t need any third person to tell you all this.
But, a lot of couples rush things and make the big step even though they don’t realize they’re not meant for each other.
The first thing you need to be sure when getting married is whether you and your partner are compatible and ready for marriage. The therapist will make a systematic evaluation and advise you about it.
It is no secret that all couples have disagreements. But, did you know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to do it?
Many people can’t control themselves when arguing and that hardens the marriage communication a lot.
Going for marriage counseling before the wedding will help you learn how to resolve arguments in a peaceful manner, and that way make your relationship stronger.
The best couples therapy can equip you with all the necessary mental and emotional tools to face the challenges of your married life in the best possible manner.
When you start planning for your wedding, you ought to be super excited and would want to invest in the best of the things for making your wedding day the most memorable time of your life.
But, at times, people exaggerate their financial strength and plan things they can’t afford.
For people who have never been married, taking that step means getting into the unknown, and when it comes to money, taking big risks is only good in the business sector, but not when it comes to relationships.
Your marriage therapist will advise you about this, show you what a wedding means from a financial aspect, and what lies ahead in life as a married couple when it comes to handling money.
Couples attending premarital counseling have been shown to last longer than others.The statistics show that getting couples therapy before marriage gives better marital satisfaction than the ones not attending it.
If you are better satisfied in your marriage, the chances of getting divorced are automatically reduced.
Making plans for yourself and for a family is very different. You need to adjust your feelings, needs, and wishes with those of your spouse and, later, probably, with those of your children.
The therapist will try to make the best of this problem before getting into marriage when the couple will face lots of other issues. And this is where the couples therapy before marriage can help you out.
The questions about children, career, prenup, are all serious and need to be discussed. Counseling for couples before marriage can make those hard talks more relaxed.
6. The past
It so happens that we tend to cling to our hurtful or disturbing past experiences subconsciously. And, inadvertently, we happen to act in our present and define the future on the basis of those past experiences.
But, the matter of fact is that those past experiences, despite being upsetting, might not hold any relevance today. And, we still allow them to ram into our preset which otherwise can be delightful and fulfilling.
Marriage means a new beginning and starting off with a clean slate is most important.
Thus the discussion about the past is important just like the one about the future. You don’t want to drag the problems from the past into the marriage because they can create problems.
All these aspects discussed above define the striking benefits of couples therapy before marriage. Physical wedding preparations are important, but getting mentally and emotionally prepared for the long journey of marriage is more important.
It is thus a great idea to include couples therapy before marriage or a marriage course as an essential part of your exciting wedding preparations. Good luck!
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.