Your boyfriend proposed, and you are about to get married. Everyone is happy for you, but you are not so sure if wedding is what you want. Don’t worry, you are not the first one, and that is why many counseling offices now offer couples therapy before marriage.
Marriage is one of the biggest changes in life for every person. It is a vow you give to the person you love, to be faithful to him until the rest of your life. It also means that that person will be alongside you forever, both in good or bad, it’s the person you should lean on whenever you need support. Knowing that it’s ok to be scared.
What will you talk about in therapy
The first thing you need to be sure when getting married is whether you and your partner are compatible and ready for marriage. A lot of couples rush things and make the big step even though they don’t realize they’re not meant for each other. The therapist will make an evaluation and advise you about it.
All couples have disagreements, but did you know that there is a right way and a wrong way to do it? Many people can’t control themselves when arguing and that hardens the marriage communication a lot. Going to therapy will help you learn how to resolve arguments in a peaceful manner, and that way make your relationship stronger.
Sometimes people exaggerate their financial strength and plan things they can’t afford. For people who have never been married, taking that step means getting into the unknown, and when it comes to money, making big risks is only good in the business sector, but not when it comes to relationships.
Your therapist will advise you about this, show you what a wedding means from a financial aspect, and what lies ahead in life as a married couple, when it comes to handling money.
4. Divorce prevention
The divorce rate in the United States is among the highest in the world. Almost every second marriage ends in divorce. Couples attending premarital counseling have been shown to last longer than others. The statistics show that getting therapy before marriage gives couples 20% less chances of divorce, which is why it is strongly recommended.
Making plans for yourself and for a family is very different. You need to adjust your feelings, needs and wishes with those of your spouse and, later, probably, with those of your children. Many people have difficulties establishing a healthy connection with their life partner simply because they don’t know how to do it. The therapist will try to make the best of this problem before getting into marriage when the couple will face lots of other issues.
The questions about children, career, prenup, are all serious and need to be discussed. Counseling can make those hard talks more relaxed.
6. The past
The discussion about the past is important just as the one about the future. You don’t want to drag the problems from the past into the marriage because they can create problems. Marriage means a new beginning and starting off with a clean slate is most important.