A lot of people are pessimistic towards couples therapy. The thought of marital counseling sparks anxiety to many, and others refuse to believe that this process is productive.
For them, only the couple is capable of solving their issues and that any outside intervention, especially from a stranger, is something that wouldn’t work.
But, this is simply not true.
The majority of the people who went for marriage counseling could attest to the good this process has done for their relationship.
It would be incorrect to consider couples therapy as any third-party intervention. These therapists have been formally educated and equipped with expert knowledge and skills to work with couples having problems concerning their relationships.
Couples therapy for marriage can train you to handle conflicts in your relationships effectively and resolve them amicably.
Couples who decide to go to therapy are often found with the willingness to fix their relationship. The problem is, they do not know where to begin.
So, what happens in marriage counseling sessions?
During the sessions, the therapist can suggest new ways to communicate and resolve conflicts through a step by step process. This varies per relationship since there is no standard therapeutic guideline on how to mend relationships.
Your therapist’s job is to analyze the issue and advise accordingly. They can offer the best ways for you and your partner to settle your differences and make your relationship grow.
Trust, honesty, and love can be rediscovered
Many couples find the temporary loss of passion as a loss of love. They say they don’t feel the same way towards their partners the way they did before. Your therapist will orient you with the different phases of a relationship that most couples go through.
You will be able to learn that your problems are still fixable. You can spark the flame inside of you with nostalgic activities and conversations. You will sweep away the anger and hate and know that beneath all the disagreements, you still love and want each other.
You will get a neutral perspective to the story
This generally goes for those couples who are in quarrels and disagreements. Sometimes, what you need is someone who is not directly involved in the situation to point out what is going on.
For those who want to work on their relationship, your therapist may be the neutral person who can hear both your sides. They can make you and your partner understand what and who needs to work on a specific behavior for the betterment of the relationship.
Couples therapy can have bittersweet endings. While many couples have successfully worked things out, others will come to realize during the therapeutic process that going separate ways is best for both parties.
It depends on the faults committed, compatibility, willingness to pursue the relationship, and each individual’s personal goals. Through couples therapy, you will learn and realize the proper steps you need to take if ever you want the relationship to end.
Your therapists will give you professional advice as to how you can handle the separation well by putting your mental and emotional state as a priority. The goal is to have a clean and friendly break, that is, if you decided to put a stop to it.
You need to realize that your therapist is not the one who is solely responsible for fixing your relationship. The power to save the relationship lies with the couple only.
Now, if you ask yourself, does couples therapy work?
And, if you got an affirmative response from yourself, here a few reminders to those who are planning to schedule an appointment and decide to attend couples therapy sessions.
Watch this video to know some secrets of a couples’ counselor.
Self- motivation is vital while undergoing therapy
For some, going to couples therapy is just justifying to their partner or themselves that their relationship is not working anymore.
For couples therapy to be effective, the couple should actively participate, talk, and show interest and effort in dealing with their problems and improving their relationship.
Some do not take the therapy seriously but are just forced to by their partner, family, relatives, or friends. It would be hard to be optimistic at the start of the therapy, but there should always be willing to talk and face your relationship issues.
Progress highly depends on how motivated the two parties are in making the process productive.
Self-awareness is essential to work on your relationship
They say that deep beneath our mind and being, we know the answers to our problems. We just want someone to tell it to us since we cannot admit it to ourselves.
If you and your partner decide to go to couples therapy, you should be both aware of the extent to how “savable” your relationship is. If you did not get the outcome, you are expecting in therapy, and you should be able to admit that it is not the therapist’s fault.
Sometimes, it could be that you and your partner have no reason to stay together anymore. This might be true for abusive relationships or if one of you is suffering from a mental health issue and needs to recover alone.
Self-awareness is also needed for those who want to work on their relationship. If you are attending your sessions, you should be truthful as to where you have been wrong in the relationship.
Always remember, admitting that you have committed a mistake is the first step towards growth. If you refuse to recognize that there are somethings wrong with you or with your relationship, therapy will not lead to any kind of progress.
Cliché as it may sound, but when two people genuinely love each other, they will put in the time and effort to work things out despite all the challenges they are faced with.
Trying to save a relationship is difficult, but giving up means that you’re going to have to let go of the person you love without a fight, and that is something you could quickly regret someday.
To get your relationship back on track, what you need is a little help from an expert who can look into your problems objectively. Now is the right time to open yourselves to the idea of going for couples therapy.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.