You’ve probably heard of the “no contact” rule and how it is the most powerful strategy to get your act together and fan the embers of your love life back to flames when you feel like your relationship is losing a little bit of steam.
While this may be true, it can quickly leave many people asking, “will no contact work if he lost feelings for me?”
It is one thing to set up the no contact rule and step back in style, waiting for him to come running back into your arms. However, what if you second-guess your action and ask yourself the million-dollar question, “will my ex move on during no contact?”
How do you use the no contact rule to get him back after a break? Heck. In fact, will the no contact rule get him back truly?
So many questions. Yet, so few answers!
We will help you find answers to your most pressing questions. If he lost feelings for me and broke up afterward, this article will show me how to use the no contact rule in the corrEctway.
Will the no contact rule work if he has lost feelings for you?
The no-contact rule is adapted from the popular saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It is founded on the principle that their love waxes stronger when lovers and soulmates spend time apart.
Hence, they can feed on their desperate longing to be back in their lover’s arms to do all it takes to get their relationship going again.
Under normal circumstances, the no contact rule has been proven to be a powerful tool in healing andstrengthening relationships as it gives all parties the time they need to sort through their minds and get their acts together.
One of the major reasons why this works is because of the popular quote by D. Kahneman; “the fear of loss is an excellent motivation of action in humans since we are loss averse.”
When a person loves another, they will do all they can to keep them in their life, even during the no contact period. However, if you are using no contact to get him back, you must be sure that he hasn’t fallen out of love with you.
If you wonder if he will move on during no contact, chances of this are high if he no longer loves you or if you are dealing with a case of unrequited feelings.
A simple answer to the central question guiding this section of the article is “no.” No contact will not work if he has lost feelings for you.
Will he develop feelings for you again during no contact?
Now that we have established that no contact is almost useless when a man has lost his feelings for you, the next question you may ask yourself is, “what if…”
What if there’s any chance that no contact will restart a man’s feelings for you?
There are no straight-to-the-point answers to this question because rekindling romantic feelings is dependent on many factors, including the willingness of the other person to rekindle the relationship. However, the no contact rule may come in handy in helping your ex to reassess their feelings and opinions about you.
When you play the role of the clingy child who refuses to let their ex go even when they have requested a no-contact period, they may see you as something to toy with, which can reduce the amount of respect they have for you.
However, when they see that you are willing to step back and give yourself the break you deserve, their respect for you will increase and this can, in turn, rekindle the feelings they once had for you.
Will no contact make him move on? Will it increase the chances that he will fall dangerously in love with you once again? Well, there are no guarantees to that!
Will the no contact rule work on an emotionally unavailable man?
An emotionally unavailable man appears to be aloof, distant from the people around him, and unable to process and show his feelings. In most cases, he is perceived to be callous, unfeeling, and incapable of love.
One of the things you’d easily notice about the emotionally unavailable man is that he spends most of his time obsessing over his next big goal, project, or idea. He’ll have sex with you. He may even agree to hang around afterward for a few hours.
However, the emotionally unavailable man is terrified of commitment to any relationship.
Studies show that emotionally unavailable people find it challenging to have meaningful romantic relationships with others more often than not. They wouldn’t be opposed to casual dating and having flings. However, they’d run for the hills at the sound of anything that remotely looked like a commitment.
Now, does no contact work on men that are emotionally unavailable?
The chances are slim; too slim for comfort. If there’s one thing you should have picked up from this conversation, emotionally unavailable men have an issue with commitment. This means that they would do anything to be unfettered to anyone.
If you wonder, “will he forget me during no contact,” the chances for this are very high for emotionally unavailable men.
Learn how to help an emotionally unavailable man share his feelings with the help of this video:
Will no contact work if I start it late?
You may have spent time trying to understand when is the right time to start no contact.
There is no perfect time to begin the no contact phase for your relationship (if you want to salvage the relationship by going through that route). This is because people are different and every human being has a threshold of pain they can deal with.
What is unbearable to you can be laughed at by someone else and vice versa. There isn’t any such thing as “the perfect time to start no contact.”
However, to get the best out of your no contact phase, you must understand your temperament and the kind of person you are in a relationship with. Take a break from the relationship when it starts getting toxic.
This will ensure that there wouldn’t be much bad blood between you when you decide to try again.
You are the ones to determine the best time to start the no contact phase in your relationship because you understand your unique situation, your needs, and the goals you intend to achieve with no contact.
How to get your ex to fall in love with you again
Loss of feelings is not the end of a relationship. You can follow the steps mentioned here to learn how to get someone back who lost feelings for you.
1. Take a break
When you have proven beyond every reasonable doubt that your ex is losing the feelings they once had for you, the knee-jerk reaction would be to do all you can to get them swooning for you once again. However, throwing yourself at them might not be the best option.
This is where the no-contact option comes to play.
Lost feelings can come back, but you have to prove that you are worth being in a relationship with and you don’t achieve that by being clingy and needy. So, start by taking a break.
A straightforward way to lose your ex for good is to go on a no contact spree without defining exactly what you are getting yourself into. If you don’t have a deep conversation about this, you will go on a no-contact phase while remaining in contact in some form.
Conversely, you may drift apart for good because you never defined the start and end dates for the no contact times.
Can lost feelings come back during the no contact period? Yes, they can. However, you have to make sure that you don’t stretch the no-contact phase or that the love may be lost.
Finding out the reason for the problem could be challenging, but there’s no hope of fixing what you are unaware of. If you want to get him to fall back in love with you, the first step you must take is to ask him what went wrong.
Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation. If you are dealing with an emotionally healthy ex, the chances that they’d open up to you are huge. They may say things you wouldn’t like.
However, if you want the relationship to thrive, you should focus on assessing what they have said and doing your best to adjust and accommodate them. Effective communication is an integral part of successful marriages and relationships.
You can have this conversation before or after the no contact phase for the best results. Not during!
4. Convey that you are committing to work with them
To get your ex who fell out of love to start feeling strongly for you again, you must let them know that you are committing to fixing the relationship and doing right.
If you wonder, “will no contact work if he has lost feelings,” you must understand that it is not a “you against your ex” situation. Instead, both of you must work together as a team to make the dream work.
The no contact phase has proven, over the years, to be a very reasonable period during which couples get their emotions under control and find out the best course of action for their relationship.
Will no contact work if he loses feelings?
There’s no guarantee of that, and that’s what makes it a part of life. It is up to you to do your best to keep him (if you want him to remain). However, it would help if you remembered that the one who wants to stay would stay.
If he doesn’t want to stay with you, there’s almost nothing you’d do to keep him. This should be at the back of your mind even as you try to figure things out.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.