Is there anything more beautiful than love? Perhaps not! But, in a committed relationship, it can sometimes be hard to remember some of that beauty stems from the couple putting in the time and effort to make it work.
What if you take the ultimate plunge and put a ring on your finger? Well! It is tough. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself – Why you fell in love in the first place? Why you took that plunge?
Conflict in a marriage is absolutely normal
It is a sign of two strong individuals with sometimes different aspirations and desires coming to terms that, for the sake and the health of their partnership, they must come to a compromise.
Addressing these conflicts can be scary – sometimes you just don’t want to admit that there’s anything wrong – but, as a matchmaker, I can assert with absolute confidence that the key to a strong and healthy marriage is communication. If you’re not happy, tell your partner. It won’t benefit you, them or your marriage as a whole if you let an issue fester.
You may think your spouse doesn’t contribute to chores significantly
It may be that we perceive our spouse to be investing significantly less effort into the relationship. How that ‘effort’ manifests is subject to circumstance: perhaps they are not making the time to have a quality evening together; perhaps they are not supporting your life as an individual as you are supporting them in theirs.
Even seemingly little things add up – are they not helping make dinner? Not popping out to the corner shop for milk even though you’re busy putting the kids to bed? – and can take their toll over time.
Sex may get boring
Similarly, it is well established that monotonous married life can put a strain on what goes on in the bedroom. A stale sex life is generally a sign that things are not going the way either of you would like them to – and often speak volumes about the relationship as a whole.
It may be that one partner’s tastes have changed, or have simply diminished somewhat – and feelings of unattractiveness or undesirability can permeate the mind of the other person.
Children take away from your time together as a couple
Having children will take up a significant portion of your time together, and often you may simply be too tired at the end of the day to be thinking about turning up the heat when the lights go out.
What to do when your marriage isn’t faring too well
Nobody is perfect, and part and parcel of being in a truly loving partnership is accepting that your spouse’s flaws constitute part of their character – the character you fell in love with to begin with. It is entirely natural to diverge somewhat in beliefs, desires, attitudes – but, if you want it work, the best course of action bar none is simply to be honest with each other.
Talk to your spouse about what’s working – and what isn’t. Work through things together, as a team, as a partnership – and you might just be amazed at what a little work – and a great big helping of love – can do for your marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.