What causes signs your mother-in-law is jealous? Did you cause the traits of a jealous mother-in-law to come out?
Unless you were rude to her, odds are this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your mother-in-law’s bad attitude.
What caused the signs your mother-in-law is jealous?
It could be…
Her son has stopped giving her attention since meeting/marrying you
She feels intimidated by you
She feels left out of her son’s life
It could also be that your mother-in-law simply hasn’t gotten the opportunity to know you very well.
Research shows that frequency of contact plays an important role in how peaceful your relationship with your in-laws is going to be.
Mothers and daughters-in-law must be allowed peaceful opportunities to get together in order to develop trust, as well as a certain degree of one-on-one time together in order to build an intimate friendship.
You might not be able to stop her bluntly as she might not say anything directly to you. She might instead prefer passive aggressive behavior to hurt you and save herself from the blame.
12. She is always meddling in your life
Annoying mother-in-law is always meddling – Does your mother-in-law always cause drama in your marriage? Does she intervene in your personal matters? Does she opine about something that is nowhere related to her?
IF yes, this is yet another one of the jealous mother-in-law signs.
13. She excludes you from things
One of the signs your mother-in-law is jealous is if she purposely doesn’t invite you to family events or perhaps invites you last minute.
She will even try to plan things just with your spouse and your kids and keep you out of it citing some illogical reason.
14. Mother-in-law always plays the victim
Your mother-in-law always finds a reason to be upset and uses it to try and get your husband on her side. She might even put up a false show of emotions and show how perturbed she is because of you or your actions.
Again, this is one of the most obvious signs your mother-in-law is jealous of you.
15. She’s always trying to take over
You’ve organized a social event, yet she’s the one who’s starting to control everything from what you’re having for dinner to the games you play after!
She might eventually try to put you down and take all the credit for successfully hosting the event. She won’t even fall short of bragging about it for times to come!
One way to take the venom out of your poisonous mother-in-law is by being helpful when you are around her.
If you are coming for dinner, offer to bring something like wine or a side dish and help her clean up after the meal is over. If she has an appointment to attend, offer her a ride or some company.
6. Take an interest in her life
Toxic traits of a jealous mother-in-law may stem from no longer feeling needed or relevant in her son’s life. Correct her thinking by asking her get-to-know-you questions. Ask her about how she grew up and what it was like raising her children.
She will no doubt appreciate your genuine interest in her life.
7. Compliment her
Dealing with mother-in-law issues doesn’t have to be so tough.
Have you tried being nice to her? Sometimes a simple compliment about her cooking, the way she keeps her house, or another one of her qualities may endear her to you.
8. Make time to see her
One of the traits of a jealous mother-in-law is if she keeps forcing herself on your family. Instead of letting her bombard your family plans, schedule time in to see her each week. This will make her feel more important to your family life and quell her urge to pop-in unannounced.
9. Avoid conflict
Conflict is one of the biggest traits of a jealous mother-in-law, so don’t participate. Avoid conflict by being patient and peaceable. She may back down when she sees you won’t take the bait.
Also, you can read some good books to learn some strategies to avoid conflict and improve your relationship with laws.
10. Talk to your partner
Dealing with a difficult mother-in-law puts you in an awkward position because it forces your husband to pick sides.
However, the only way to deal with a poisonous mother-in-law is to communicate with your husband about how you feel and have him speak on your family’s behalf.
11. Create healthy boundaries
Feeling that ‘my mother-in-law acts like she is married to my husband’ can be unnerving. You and your husband can undo this unnerving feeling by going to your MIL and creating healthy boundaries that she needs to stick to.
12. Ignore her bad behavior
A poisonous mother-in-law’s bad behavior can get you riled up, but it’s important not to let her know that she has bothered you.
Keep a good poker face and act like nothing in the world can rattle your happy life – not even an annoying mother-in-law.
13. Schedule your children’s playtime with your mother in law
Do you have children? If so, forcing herself into family time is yet another trait of a jealous mother-in-law.
Instead of allowing problems with mother in-laws to affect your time with your children, schedule specific days where the kids can go and play at grandma’s.
14. Speak up when enough is enough
If you’ve tried to deal with a jealous mother-in-law by staying quiet and peaceable, and it still isn’t working, it’s time to throw in the towel.
There’s a difference between being polite and letting your MIL walk all over you. Speak up when you feel disrespected, and don’t let her get away with disrespectful behavior.
15. Move away
A mother-in-law ruining marriage happiness is not something that should be tolerated.
Are you sure that your mother-in-law hates you, or are you just being paranoid?
Signs your mother in law is jealous include:
Comparing you to your husband’s former girlfriends
Excluding you from family events
No respect for boundaries
If you find yourself thinking that your mother-in-law acts like ‘she is married to my husband’, then you’re not alone. Many women have gone through the same issue and have learned to deal with an overbearing mother-in-law.
Avoid making conflict with your poisonous mother-in-law. Instead, learn to develop empathy and make time for her in your family.
If this doesn’t work, try ignoring the signs your mother-in-law is jealous.
Talk to your husband about his mother’s behavior, and don’t be afraid to have him speak up and create healthy boundaries between your families.
Follow these tips for dealing with a difficult mother in law, and you may just smooth things over and save yourself one big headache.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.